I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
In high school and college, I had a solid group of guy friends. We’d hang out all the time, talk about random stuff, help each other through breakups or job stress, and just… be around.
Now that everyone’s working, moved to different cities, or started families, things feel a lot more distant. Some group chats are still active, but most conversations are surface-level or meme-based. One guy I used to talk to every week but I haven’t had a real conversation with him in over a year.
I don’t feel lonely exactly, but I do miss the depth of those friendships.
So I wanted to ask:
For those of you in your late 20s, 30s or beyond, do you still have close male friendships?**
If yes: how do you keep those bonds strong?
If no: does it bother you, or feel like a natural shift?
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I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
In high school and college, I had a solid group of guy friends. We’d hang out all the time, talk about random stuff, help each other through breakups or job stress, and just… be around.
Now that everyone’s working, moved to different cities, or started families, things feel a lot more distant. Some group chats are still active, but most conversations are surface-level or meme-based. One guy I used to talk to every week but I haven’t had a real conversation with him in over a year.
I don’t feel lonely exactly, but I do miss the depth of those friendships.
So I wanted to ask:
For those of you in your late 20s, 30s or beyond, do you still have close male friendships?**
If yes: how do you keep those bonds strong?
If no: does it bother you, or feel like a natural shift?
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Very few. I just message them or call them from time to time. It doesnt really bother me that much because I have a wife and kids now.
Yes. I try to call each one at least once a week.
Just a few from childhood I text from time to time.
Of my high school and college friends who live out of state, yeah I virtually never see them again outside of maybe getting a rare invitation to a wedding or someone reaching out to me if they happen to be visiting NYC where I live.
But I stayed close to a core group who still all live within about an hour of each other. We hangout a few times a month and over the decades, the group has expanded with people’s significant others, their SO’s friends, work friends, etc.
Just kind of about making the effort. Responding to invitations, taking the initiative to plan stuff myself, and just being there even if it’s something dumb like my 42 year old girl friend inviting me to her adult dance class recital last week.
I think this is natural. I had a large group of guys I thought were my friends all through school and a bit after college. We all grew apart for many different reasons, some toxic, some just being busy and fading away. I kept close with 1/10 of them and to be frank, I might cut that one off too because all he likes to do is get fucked up.
I’m at peace with it all and can always make new friends. I find perks in being an introvert as an adult
Yes. I have a group of about 4 male friends that semi regularly see each other, although it’s rare that all of us can make it. It helps that we all live in nearby cities but usually about once a month we send out a text trying to met up. Usually we met at a local brewery to drink and play board games.
We do talk about stuff in our personal lives, but only if we have something to share.
Working on it
I did until they died or got married.