Men who were bullies in school and have changed, why were you a bully and what made you change?
Men who were bullies in school and have changed, why were you a bully and what made you change?
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Men who were bullies in school and have changed, why were you a bully and what made you change?
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I grew up, it wasnt fun anymore
Don’t know but ran into my bully at a bar in a different city 30 yrs later. Dude was still an ass but also a total ducking loser (‘retired’ cop at 45). Played it like we had been best buds.
>why were you a bully
It was fun, i still think fondly about most of the shit i did, like, i hate i did it, recognize it wasn’t good nor nice but thinking about it still makes me smile.
>what made you change?
I was 9, had just moved to a new city, first day on new school and some dumb kid decided to hit me repeatedly on the back of the head, he did it all the way through the flag ceremony and keep on doing it while walking up the stairs, so i rushed up to the classroom, waited for him to come in and punched him in the stomach, the little b tch remained there until the teacher came.
The teacher made me kneel over a piece of rugged wood with my backpack on my head, i tried to explain that the little shit had it coming, she didn’t listen, it wasn’t fair, i didn’t like it, so i decided to just keep to myself for the remainder of my school life to avoid unwanted attention, it worked fine, one little scuffle here and there (Mostly with people who wouldn’t leave alone), but i didn’t initiate any of it and they were necessary to make people understand that it was in their best interest to leave me alone.
For context: I have a protuberance in the back of my head (A very pronounced occipital bun).
Note: I met who was my best friend from 9 up to 23 while i was being punished, teacher got distracted and a girl sitting close by told me to empty the backpack, took my notebooks/books and handed me an empty box to make my backpack look full, so it wasn’t all bad.
at first its just for the fun but then you realize that if you dont drop all that and work on yourself then life will bully you
maturing, its simple.
This will be long.
I remember making this boy and girl cry to tears and not even thinking about it or the effects it was doing to them UNTIL when alone at home. I started thinking how being bullied myseld was making me feel and then this feeling of immense shame and gulit overtook me.
I ended up apologising to this boy and girl and we later became friends. Still really close friends with the boy I made cry now. And when he told me that he was being abused as a child outside of school and ar home, I felt even more shitty (as I should) that I was adding to his already abusive childhood. This man now tells me that he can’t even remember me being nasty to him anymore and all he remembers is how kind I’ve been (we have been close friends for like 15 years now) but I remember making him cry by being nasty. Why i did it… I don’t know. I guess part of me thought him being shy was him being stuck up and a snob. That isn’t an excuse, what I said to him isn’t excusable. My assumption was wrong. He wasn’t stuck up.
And the one girl I made cry. The things I said to her make me feel sick now. I honestly hate myself back then for the things I said. I made up this cruel insensitive song about how she looked that at the time. I thought nothing of, I thought it didn’t effect her. But I’ve grown up, dealt with the same comments by other bullies and after seeing her cry over it. I felt like shit. I know how it feels, so why was i doing it to her is what I told myself. I later apologised to her and we have since become friends. Still friends to this day and I know she has completely forgiven me for my nasty comments but when I think back on the horrible things I said to her. I cringe at myself and feel really ashamed and embarrassed by it (as I should).
Why i did it? I was dealing with horrific neighbourhood bullying by boys twice my age and I was watching my drunk dad arrive home and “bully” my older sister and mother (his changed now). I guess I became desensitised to its effects and took my hurt out on 2 other kids. I didn’t see the effects it was happening to them until I did some serious thinking outside of how I was feeling. Empathy kicked in and I just started feeling disgusted with myself over it.
I haven’t bullied someone since then. The gulit just eats me up. What I did and said was inexcusable and unjustifiable. All I can say is I just didn’t think about it when doing it.
I MUST SAY… I remember one day my whole class went into this truck visiting our school which was about anti bullying and the whole class watched videos of bullied kids stories and one story was about this poor overweight boy who faced relentlessly bullying and ended up taking his life at the age of 14. Two girls came out of the class crying about it, talking about how his story touched them or some BS. How they hate bullies and bullying and guess what they were themselves? Yep, they were huge bullies. And that one class about anti bullying didn’t stop them at all.
Why did I bully people? We’ll….My mother emotionally abandoned me after my father had died and I wanted attention. I went from that quiet 16 year old to an asshole in a few months. What I needed was direction and a healthy outlet and therapy would have been helpful too.
What changed me? Well, aside from growing up and discovering empathy, understanding of emotions, etc, what really drove the nail home after the fact, years down the road, was people telling me how I made them feel and how I made them change in negative ways.
I still give my coworkers and friends a hard time but I strongly encourage them to tell me if I cross a line. Some have taken me up on it and were shocked when I responded to them in a respectful, calm, and understanding manner and continued to respect the line that they drew. This could be remedied with therapy but I haven’t put myself through that door yet. Be a man and all that shit, ya know?
I was a huge bully in high-school. I knew of one girl few years under me I picked on heaps. For what reasons? I don’t fucking know. Anyway it was found that she had written all these letters in her diary about how she wanted to kill her self with my name in the letters as one of the main reasons why.
I think I bullied kids coz that was just the way of life I grew up with. A lot of my friends were older and just hung shit on every one, so it was just nature, I’m not pushing 40 and still feel terrible about how I spoke to others. I never physically bullied kids, I’m only a small dude, but I would happily pick on kids for reasons that were none of their faults like family and financial situations. My family was barely financially stable. Didn’t stop me. Now being an adult. I’ve grown up. That’s the only reason I stopped, because I’m not a teenager any more and am mature