I (17F) and my friend (17M) know each other for two months now. I was actually atracted to him, but he and my best friend set me up with one of his friends ( let’s call him Adam) and both of them thought I was atracted to Adam. After I rejected Adam ( he was being pushy and was moving too fast ), I told my best friend about this situation. She was supportive and told my friend the next day. My friend was actually happy and reached out to me after Adam got over it.
Everything went really well with my friend ( he told me about his struggles too). Until I met one of his classmates ( let’s call him George, who is now my ex) and I was instantly atracted to George. After considering it for a while, I’ve decided that I don’t want to date my friend. Of course,he wasn’t happy but took the news well.
George was very weird about my friend. On one of the dates he asked when was the last time I talked to him. I haven’t talk to him in a month because I got together with George 9 days after I friend zoned my friend.
Before George broke up with me, the previous week I was thinking about my friend. About how I was selfish because I only friendzoned because George looks better than my friend, and how I didn’t think about how this will affect him. A few days ago I found out that he was drinking a lot that day I friendzoned him, and how George and his friends were making fun of him for ‘stealing his girl’
So, my question is: What should I do? When would the right time be to talk to him again? I apreciate every advice ( and the comments humbling me as well)
Edit: George, my friend and my best friend are classmates. And I don’t him to be my rebound. I genuinely want to reconect with him
Comments
Be honest with him, take accountability, and apologize without expecting anything back. If he’s open to rebuilding, cool, but let him choose that without pressure.
Sounds like you genuinely care and want to make things right. Just be honest with him. Apologize, acknowledge how your choices may have hurt him, and let him decide if he wants to reconnect. Time and sincerity go a long way.
Only thing you can really do is apologise and take accountability for your actions. Don’t just say you’re sorry, think about why you’re sorry and lay it out to him.
If you’re still attracted to him, tell him that you’d still be open to giving the two of you a chance, and then if necessary, give him space to let him consider it all.
Always pay close attention to how someone treats another person they perceive to be below them in the social or class heirarchy, such as the way George treated your friend – that’s him showing you who he really is and you should always take that to be a red flag if it’s any kind of negative.
Personality is more important than looks. In a relationship, you’re building something with someone else, not with someone else’s looks.
You sound flippant and wishy washy…you clearly dont know what you want and dont know how to judge whether someone is a keeper or not but rather rely on gut feeling instead of how ppl treat you or talk/care for you… before you consider dating anyone, take into account your circumstances, think about how someone may complete you or make up your flaws in character as their strengths…opposites attract for a reason, and dont choose someone thats the same as you, youll get bored of them too quickly…