19F. For context, ive always felt a little strange, a little “removed” from the world in general and i managed up till now because i have a supportive family environment / people that care about me. but ive always thought too much about damn near everything, and that’s stopped me from doing most things. plus the fear of being an additional financial burden made me prefer to stay home and read. but now it feels like all the reading ive done/ all my life experiences so far havent amounted to much because i did something wrong/ disassociated too much. i want to be normal. i want to be an adult. a properly functioning one. why do i feel blank so often? why do i feel like i need to constantly fill my brain with info because im always behind? how do i get good at knowing things? is it too late to start over? i want to know about politics, about the economy, about human behaviour etc. i literally feel like im a bot that needs to be programmed overnight. is this just me being negative? or do most people feel like they struggle with immediately recalling things/ bits of information they come across.