I don’t even know how to feel. He now admits he has been dealing with this for years and was looking at her content while we were planing the wedding, while we were pregnant and (this is when I found out the first time) while our baby was in the nicu for over a month while she was battling for her life and I was grieving.
He swore on his family he wouldn’t do that again and I stupidly believed him…
Found him again last night. He said he is going to look at professional help but how can I deal with this? He doesn’t even touch me but he jerks off to different women.
I feel so betrayed, she was my friend. How can I keep that friendship? How can I possibly kiss that man? Be intimate with him knowing he did this.
I thought I had a great husband i thought I was happy.
What can I do now? My baby is only 4 months old. I’m so embarrassed to even tell anybody.
Comments
You need to leave him. He has very little respect for you if he watches the porn of one of your friends that he knows he’ll be around. Not only does he fantasise about her but he quite literally actions it.
The thing about respect is, if someone disrespects you and you continue to indulge them, that disrespect will get ten times worse. Never ever better.
Start plotting your escape because you deserve to be loved and respected.
Also you have NO reason to be embarrassed. It’s him that will feel the embarrassment when you tell people why you left him.
Make him your ex husband. Nothing wrong with looking at porn but if it’s interfering with life and the marriage then it’s an issue.
The OF of a bridesmaid is also pretty bad.
Work through it. You have a child and it’s no longer about your lives but it’s about your child’s. Work through it.
girl no. you don’t stay with someone who disrespects you and your grief like that. it’s not just porn, it’s betrayal, obsession, and emotional neglect. he made his choice twice now it’s your turn. protect your peace and that baby
Do you think someone like that can be a good partner to you and a good father to your child? If you keep ignoring the red flags now what kind of future do you think you’ll have.
first of all do not blame your friend, she is a sex worker. your husband is the one trying to consume her content. she is not at fault at all, he is the problem. him consuming porn of your friend and someone hes in close proximity shows that he doesnt know how to control his lust despite being married, when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
he said last time he would change, he didnt. this time he claims he will change, he wont. you cannot stop him, he can only stop himself. porn is an addiction like any other, but the problem is, his addiction is harming you. question yourself, how will you feel in 1 year, 5 years, 20 years about your husbands addiction deteriorating your family unit and your own self worth?
his addiction is not a reflection of you. plenty of men out there would be happy to meet your needs, so why are you with a man who puts porn above his childs mother and furthermore a woman he vowed to love and cherish? do not let it make you insecure, porn addicts arent porn addicts because “theyre hotter than you” porn addicts are porn addicts because they have little impulse control and lust plagues their lives.
your friend has no part in this, its easier to blame her than him. its what happens, when men cheat, the woman gets blamed. the woman always takes the fall for a mans poor actions, he is the problem. she has done nothing wrong.
he wont change, he had his chance to change. and didnt, draw a line and create boundaries. give him an ultimatum, but ultimately it sounds like the marriage is already dead. really sit down with yourself and come to terms with this. i personally think you deserve better. dont settle for a life you dont deserve, you only have one. dont put time into a man that has already sabotaged the marriage.
Disgusting,
what is the bridesmaid OF so i know to stay away from it