JNMIL and SIL

Really just venting, but I have this overwhelming feeling it’s all about to get worse. I’m about to give birth to her first grandchild next week!

So I’ve been LC w JNMIL since thanksgiving after my SIL had a temper tantrum and her dog attacked my puppy. We worked it out with SIL the next day but JNMIL made it a point to lecture me and my husband about “being nice” and “getting along.” It felt very accusatory and blamey, and ever since then I’ve had a strained relationship w her bc I’ve felt like she took sides.

Then my husband had a major surgery to remove a tumor, we were dealing w the unknown and potential cancer and she tried to make it all about her. I asked her at that point to leave me alone and run all questions through my husband. She’s overbearing and thinks she’s a doctor bc she worked as an office assistant decades ago. It bugs me to no end. Good news though, he is pretty much fully recovered and it wasn’t cancer! Phew!

Now cut to my baby shower last weekend, my JNMIL and SIL are all buddy buddy since my SIL got pregnant – due in December. This is her other son’s wife. She loves the praise and attention and my MIL needs to feel needed, which has never been something I’ve given to either of them. It actually works out well because it keeps both of them off my back and away from me. BUT a few things really irked me at the shower:

• I have GD and wear a glucose monitor. It’s well controlled and I work with my actual doctors to keep it that way, but I’ve made it a point not to share that info with her bc she will immediately dive into unsolicited medical advise. She did pull me aside and start grilling me about it though bc she saw the outline through my dress, I found it very rude and frankly none of her damn business. I just said “yes they’re monitoring my blood sugars” and left it at that. It really rubbed me the wrong way.

• My MIL made our baby a handmade blanket with a sweet note on it saying “to baby JJ, love grandma.” It was a very thoughtful gesture. My SIL immediately yells “how are you going to make us one of those if we dont have a name picked out yet?” And I felt like my MIL should have shut that behavior down, but she fed into it. She also got us a little baby hat with our last name on it, and my SIL goes “you’re going to get us one of those too right?” And again, MIL fed into her bullshit instead of shutting it down. I have no issues w them being buddy buddy, but they could’ve at least toned it down at the baby shower. SIL very obviously tried to make the entire shower about her, she’s trashy and attention seeking to no end.

• I’m low key panicking about how in the world I’m supposed to keep a baby alive and be a good mom. I’m the most uncomfortable and unhealthy I’ve ever been, I don’t sleep well, I’m exhausted. I’m terrified about giving birth and going through the healing process. But my MIL starts in on me at the baby shower about what our plans are for the next one and when we’re gonna start trying. Again, none of her damn business, and two let me get this first one out first please.

So basically im just ranting and hoping it doesn’t get worse when the baby is here. Not sure how to keep LC when the baby is around though, and it sure would be nice if I could lean into my MILs advice to help me ease some of this panic about not knowing what I’m doing, but I think it would do more harm than good.