My younger brother (24) has full access to our mother’s credit cards. He’s unemployed, lives rent-free in the upstairs unit of the home our parents own, and makes large purchases without permission. These are often luxury items like top brand appliances, high-end gym supplements, organic groceries, and even cases of water in glass bottles.
My parents frequently discover the charges after the fact and confront him, which leads to explosive arguments and distress. They’re clearly overwhelmed and afraid to cut him off, worried about how he might react if his spending were suddenly restricted.
What makes this even more infuriating is that, despite everything my parents do for him, he won’t lift a finger to help them. My mother suffers from leg pain from her arthritis and has trouble getting around unfamiliar places alone, but he refuses to accompany her to doctor’s appointments, even though he has no job or other obligations. Now, I’m likely going to have to take time off work to take her myself, even though I’m super busy with work.
At this point, I can’t watch this continue happening to my parents by their own son. I want to intervene, but I’m unsure of the best course of action.
Please share any advice on how to handle this, especially if you’ve dealt with something similar.
TL;DR:
My unemployed 24-year-old brother lives rent-free, uses our elderly mother’s credit cards without permission for expensive items, and refuses to help her. My parents are too afraid to stop him. I want to intervene and need advice on how to take action.
Comments
This is financial abuse and it will bury your parents if you don’t intervene now. Cut off his access, bring in help from a lawyer or counselor, and draw a firm line, because doing nothing is a betrayal of the very people you’re trying to protect.
You should talk to your parents about cutting off your brother’s acces to their card or they will be buried with debts.
Sounds like hes depressed and stuck in a rut . Its soul destroying being unemployed and applying for jobs and getting no where . He needs to get out of the house and do stuff. Maybe volunteering at something to gain confidence . Needs to stop spending his parents money at the very least .