I have been with the same guy for about 9 years. We have no kids together and do not live together. I will say this guy really does love me but he is not perfect. I have expressed to him many times that I am unhappy in the relationship. He promises to work on said issues but it all feels the same. The relationship is stagnant and I’ve lost all physical attraction. I’m in a tough situation because I feel that he is a good companion and his family have become a part of my life and I’m scared of losing that however I’m not passionate about the relationship and I have felt this way for so long. I’m terrified I wasted so many years and I won’t find anyone better…
I (27F) cannot find happiness in my long term relationship
r/Advice
Comments
Never be afraid to choose your happiness. It’s better to be alone and happy, than with someone and miserable. Life’s too short to settle.
Dating is all about determining compatibility. Based on what you report above, it sounds like you decided to stay with this person long after you discovered the two of you were not suitable for one another. Is that correct?
If so, it might be helpful to figure out why it was that you made that decision to stay in the relationship.
You hint that it was because he’s a good companion and that you have grown close to his family. You also say that you don’t want to lose the investment of time you’ve made.
But do you mind me asking if there are other reasons that you have stayed?
Is it possible that you are afraid that you will not meet someone who you do feel passionate about?
After all, you are only 27 years old, which is still extremely young. That is the reason I am asking.
Staying because you’re scared to leave is how people waste even more years. Love without passion or growth turns into comfort with chains, and you deserve more than a “good enough” life.