My sister in law has confided in me that her recently wed husband and father of their child is physically abusing her on a regular basis.
To give context, I’m married to her older brother (35).
I’m the only one she has told and asked me not to tell my husband or mother in law. I’m really concerned that things could escalate and I potentially could have done something to avoid that. Also, I am seriously nervous about our young niece, their daughter watching this behaviour unfold.
I want to honour/honor her wishes but I also want to safeguard those involved at a greater level.
They live overseas but not far. Your advice is very much appreciated. Thanks in advance. 😊
Conflicted – holding SIL’s (30) secret that she’s being physically abused by husband (30)
r/Advice
Comments
Consider encouraging her to seek professional help or contact local authorities for safety.
this is a terrible environment for a child to grow up in.
you should encourage her to document everything that happens and to seek help quietly. collect stuff like photos of injuries, maybe diary entries or saved messages of physical threats for example.
there’s domestic violence support which you/she can contact, without anyone ever finding out. they’re professionals.
ask direct questions, does she feel like her (or her daughter’s) life is in danger? if she says yes then it is your responsibility to act, regardless of her request for secrecy.
even though this doesn’t solve the problem, i think it’d be important that the daughter is at least temporarily somewhere else because that environment is awful and no human should have to grow up under those circumstances.
Her safety matters more than her secrecy. Abuse thrives in silence, and if a child’s involved, staying quiet could cost more than trust. Be gentle, but be brave. She told you because some part of her wants help.