My boyfriend M28 left me F29 for a mutual “lesbian”friend. How do I handle this?

r/

I desperately need opinions on this, please. I (27F) have been with my boyfriend (26 m) for almost three years. We were living together with my family. I recently was hospitalized for mental health issues because i struggle with depression in February and during the week of my hospitalization my boyfriend at the time and our mutual “lesbian” friend (S, 24f)had their first kiss after visiting me. I have always been skeptical about their friendship. When we would argue he would always talk about how great she was and how they were best friends. I have spoken to S about my relationship in detail prior to this and she has always reassured that my bf would never cheat me or she’d tell me. Keep in mind, this girl was a “lesbian” who was with her girlfriend for 6 years and living with her. S then broke up with her gf and then got in a relationship with my bf. After I was out of the hospital, he continued living with me until they got an apartment together. Meanwhile I was under the guise that we were working on our relationship. I tried reaching out to S after I left the hospital and she blocked me. When I contacted her with a different phone she said she had to disconnect from me because she’s going through stuff. I only found out about them being with each other bc I went through his phone (he was hiding it at night which was really weird and sketchy). He told me prior to this that he was moving to Connecticut. A few months later, they got into an argument and she tried to kill herself because she didn’t want him to leave her. When she was in the hospital he called me to “vent” and invited me over. We cuddled and he was talking a lot of shit about her. He also said she was pregnant and tried to “babytrap” him, etc. When she left the hospital she looked through his phone called me up and threatened me and my family. She also called me “bottom of the barrel” and that I was never going to amount to anything. She then bragged about being pregnant because she didn’t think I knew already. Meanwhile my ex told me she was going to get an abortion. Here’s the kicker: I just found out he is not a citizen so he married her to get his papers. Mind you he didn’t marry me because he stated I was mentally unstable and he had to help out alot financially and was probably burnt out. Im currently crashing out

Comments

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  2. mrr2121 Avatar

    sounds like you need to block them both on all social media and their phone numbers and move on. you are 29 years old and this is high school behavior. you don’t need these people in your life. he ran back to you cause he knew you’d be there for him and he didn’t want to be alone, NOT cause he was interested in you. since u already struggle with mental health you need to get these toxic people out of your life. it’s only bringing u down more. you have the right to be sad and grieve the relationship but it’s over.
    it’s a great thing him and her are together now and you have an excuse for them to be out of your life. THE TRASH TOOK ITSELF OUT👏👏

  3. SquilliamFancySon95 Avatar

    Stop getting in contact with them, they’ve got their own mental health issues you don’t need added into the mix.

  4. DplusLplusKplusM Avatar

    A betrayal like this would be devastating even for someone who doesn’t already have an underlying mental illness. So if you’re upset that’s the response one would expect. You can’t control the lack of morality in other people. You can only strive to control your reactions to their bad deeds. The best thing you could do now is block him (and “S”) and disconnect completely. Stop taking the bait on meeting with him, working on this or giving him any shot at a second chance. It’s over and the sooner you accept that the faster the healing will be. In the interim it would a good idea to look at what positives do exist in this horrible situation. He was living with your family, meaning it’s not like you have to try to get out of a lease or move your stuff. You get to just stay where you are while he’s the one who had to move out. Living with family would also be the safest place for you right now. So you don’t have to do anything beyond just getting over him. That may seem like small solace right now. But these things are always way harder when a breakup comes with the fear of homelessness or when your emotional support system lives far away and you’re having to deal with things on your own. So so very sorry this happened to you.

  5. Aggressive-Walrus516 Avatar

    I know right now it’s painful but girlll you dodged that bullet so hard. They deserve one another, what are you doing cuddling with him?! He was never your bf, he’s been using you. Wake up, you have to take care of yourself. Figure out what brings you joy, find a new hobby, meet some new friends. Life is about how you make it, don’t allow someone who doesn’t love or respect you walk all over you like that. He LIED and CHEATED on you. Do you not see how two faced he is? Hes been double playing you both at the same time. Lord help me, idk why this triggered me. I just want you to know you have worth and don’t deserve this. Depression is hard enough, you don’t need this drama.

    If your in therapy please tell your therapist everything, listen to their advise. If not, get back into freaking therapy, take care of yourself first. That man child will never grow up, why do you think he’s with her? She’s been enabling him for years. YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED! YOU DESERVE RESPECT! ❤️

    Cut the cord (BLOCK HIM) , heal and live your life.

  6. Randa08 Avatar

    Why did you run back to him. Have some dignity and wlak away.

  7. Different-Version-58 Avatar

    What advice are you seeking? What do you need help with, do you want to know how to block someone on your phone or how to evict someone from your parents house? 

  8. WinterFront1431 Avatar

    Good luck to him, she sounds unhinged.

    Block them both, better yet change your number.

    If you have mutuals sorry but they have to choose, none of this Switzerland crap.