Narcissistic MIL

I (28F) have been with my boyfriend (34M) for 4 years.
We lived together for the last few years in the same home as his mother. My boyfriend bought the home for himself but moved her in as she is not working and who wouldn’t do it for their mother if they had the means, you know? I didn’t have a problem with it at first. I don’t have any issues with any of his family members, only his mother. To save you a lot of time reading, I’ve condensed this as much as possible.

My boyfriend is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. He cares about his family so much and does everything he can for them. But his mother sort of abuses that.

She only cares about whatever is bothering her, or what other people can do for her. Whenever she doesn’t get what she wants, or she feels like people aren’t giving her the attention she’s looking for, she throws temper tantrums and yells at whoever, calls them all names under the sun, and completely and totally disrespects everyone and never think anything is wrong. She finds ways to ruin my birthday plans every year. She thinks everyone is wrong but her. She’s very judgmental. Always looking for things wrong with the home and tries to pry money for “renovations” (he doesn’t give into it), tries to convince me to have a child so she can babysit and get money for it, NOT happening.

She constantly tells him how he should renovate the home, sell it and buy a bigger one for all of us to live in, to which my boyfriend says absolutely not because when we decide to have our own family, we will not be living with her, which makes her spiral and tells him that he’s choosing me over her. She makes so many scenes about me when I do not ever disrespect her or anything, even with all of the bullshit she does. My boyfriend defends me every time, and puts her in her place, and she responds but acting normally for a couple weeks and then regresses.

She never wants to apologize for anything, and thinks no one deserves any apology because “no one is above me, not even God” ?!?! She does not work or contribute really to anything besides food or cleaning. She cleans obsessively (legit daily, I’m talking bottles of Clorox need to be bought weekly), and she babysits my boyfriends niece and gets paid a couple hundred for it.

She’s always miserable. She tries to micromanage any and everything people do in the home, whether its any of our family members and what they do when they’re here, what I do, and what my boyfriend does. He has told her many times to stop that but she doesn’t care. We don’t listen to her, but it becomes awkward when she shows up as we’re having little get togethers with my boyfriend’s siblings on a Saturday and she comes down at midnight and calls everyone disgusting for being there at that time and makes it seem like we’re doing inappropriate things and tells everyone to leave.

My boyfriend and I both know she’s s problem, and we’re trying to find ways to deal with it. We’ve contemplated selling the home and making her figure it out on her own, we’ve contemplated moving her to our home country, getting her an apartment, even us moving away from her and leaving her with one of his siblings.

I need to know if there are any forums like this and crappy mothers but from the son’s perspective? Men talking about issues with their mothers and whatnot. My boyfriend goes through reddit all of the time but I think he wants to see the way men have dealt with their mothers to have a list of options in case. He’s really fed up. I’ve dealt with her and been patient out of love for my boyfriend, but it’s really taking its toll on him and his mental health.

Also, any advice would be greatly appreciated.