I posted on askwomenover30 about my issues with dating apps and how I don’t really like them due not being able to form a crush on a guy that my only experience with him is because an app showed us each other and we had a text convo before our first date.
Well I tried to have an open mind because it’s been 3.5 months since my ex broke up with me and I know a large portion of people want me to just go out there and enjoy life 100% dateless, sexless, etc. that’s the only way you’ll ever self actualize or whatever. But no thanks. I am good. I like sex, I like cuddling, I like having a crush on someone. Now, I won’t just date ANYONE, but at the same time I am not gonna just “do my thing” until I bump into the love of my life at CVS or something.
So I try the dating apps. I meet this cute looking guy and we begin talking, I want to say at this point it is either 6/9 or 6/10. We end up talking over text and on the phone for a good bit. We meet in person on 6/17 and have a date. Of course he wasn’t as cute in person, but he doesn’t look bad. The date wasn’t horrible either, we kept conversation going pretty easy. But it also wasn’t anything spectacular. I kind of just felt like I was hanging out with friend. Well, after that. we make plans to hang out again “at his place.” I remember waking up the day of, and not dreading, but def not looking forward tot his. If anything I kinda wanted to cancel but this dude gave me $100 for a bill, bought me a game I never asked for lol. Just all idk, I am NOT used to guys buying me things, I knew it had been a long time since he had sex. So I figured, if anything I’d be doing him a favor. So I went to his house, we had sex. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t good either, whole experience was very C. I noticed after this, he did not ghost but has kind of been slow fading in, but I have def not been helping. Before I was staying on the phone with him for hours, now I talk for like 5-10 minutes and then say “got to go” I just don’t FEEEL anything. If his name pops up on my phone, no dopamine hit. I don’t lay in bed in night and think about the sex or think about him, or anything. He’s just some kind of cute guy. As I type this I just got a DM from him as we type this and I was kind of sad’ so I texted him dened it was him.
Second guy. This guy I met through a mutual friend back around Christmas of 22. He used to help me out obtaining a “certain plant” and did so from the time I met him until late 2023 when he moved to a different town. I always thought he was cute and way more polite than most the people in that scene but I had a BF when we interacted so it was never anything besides just friendly talking. I was sad because the last time I went through him I had sent him a bit of money but was unable to meet up with him because his “phone died” and like I said not long after that he moved. Well he messaged me a week or so ago letting me know he never forgot about that, saw I wasn’t having the best time on FB (I had been posting mopey statuses about several things also going wrong in my life) and if I was ever in town he would make it up to me. So I went go drive and met up with him. The same day that I went go hang out with OLD guy he had responded to one my DMs thanking him. I remember the feeling of my face lighting up when he messaged me. I was just smiling at my phone when I suggested going back out there again and maybe hanging out.
We ended up talking back and forth and he kind of casually mentioned me spending the night “If I want to” and I almost screamed like a teenage girl. The day of, I woke up and smiled, thinking “omg today’s the day” I texted him early to see if we were still on, he said he had issues with his phone so “sometimes keep texting and calling” so I texted him a second time after 25 min and no response then tried to call after 40 min. But during that time period it was hard for describe my mood as good. I was hoping I wasn’t getting blown off. But sure he enough he answered. I was so excited the rest of the day. The way I felt on my way to visit him vs how I felt omw to visit the other guy was just…night and day. And when I got there, that in person chemistry was undeniable. I got there about 7 PM but we didn’t get sexual until maybe 2-3 AM and after the sex I remained wrapped around him cuddling him all night. The next day I stuck around for awhile, but when it was time for me to head back I legit felt sad. Like I didn’t want to go.
The first guy? Guh, I couldn’t wait after we finished. I know this is a bit gross but I swear it wasn’t on purprose. I was going through my clean bag and I discovered guy 2’s shirt and I was like “is this his?” sniffed it and could almost feel a jolt of attraction from just smelling his scent.
I always have said “chemistry/the spark matters” but I have never had a situation so close to one another like this where how apparent it was. The first guy I was trying to talk myself into. “He’s well spoken, he likes what you like, he’s cute!” It was all just so forced and I knew I was lying to myself. This second guy, I know it probably won’t turn into anything serious. We hadn’t talked about it, I’d of course like for it too, But like said, it hasn’t come up. All I know is I hope we at least hook up again. Saturday night was just so fucking magical, I remember running my fingers down his chest and occasionally kissing his cheek and I was just on cloud 9. OLD guy, I just felt nothing, as I snuggled between him. No emotion other than some slight “bullshitting.” I never hoped a guy would ghost me but I hope he does. And in before anyone says “you should let him know you aren’t into him” he wasn’t looking for anything serious either. And if he asks, I will tell him I am not feeling it anymore.
But yeah, never had anything so obvious in my life.