We announced our engagement at their house at a joint birthday dinner for myself and my husband as our birthdays are only a couple weeks apart.
Mother-in-law looks sad and says “I’ll just have to get used to the fact that my son loves another woman more than he loves me”.
I’ll have you know I infact did not puke and I am extremely proud of my self-control.
Everyone else just kinda went quiet for a few seconds then someone changed the subject.
We spoke about our engagement for probably…less than 3 minutes?
Is this as creepy as it sounded to me or am I overthinking it? As I am kind of dreading having a baby and what these weird ideas of hers (in my opinion) are going to manifest as once that takes place.
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Creep. DH needs to put MIL in her place before kids arrive.
You’re not overthinking at all. What she said is disturbing and shows that she needs mental help
I don’t think you’re overthinking it, but it’s based more on the way she looked when she said it. If she said it with a smile on her face, it would’ve shown acceptance.
Ew, boy mom alert! Sounds like everyone else has already caught on, so they’ll probably understand there’s going to be some drama in your future that leads to LC or NC. You might as well put groundwork in now and make sure boundaries are firm and your new fiance is on the same page before the wedding. But yes, that comment was super gross and your red flag warning you to keep everything password protected and minimally shared.
Does she normally word things so awkwardly? Do you normally have a good relationship with her? I think you’re definitely right, that’s a creepy and really gross thing to say! I could never imagine saying that to my children or their soon to be spouses. Ew
Look into emotional incest and see if that fits. My MIL put my husband in the emotional role of her spouse/support person. She has a big issue with him “choosing me over her”. I’m her mind we were occupying the same role and there was only enough room for one of us.
It depends upon how your fiancé reacts and responds. If he’s creeped out, that’s a good thing. If he says things like “well, that’s the way she is” or “I’m sure she didn’t really mean anything by that”, then you have a partner issues.
Your fiancé needs to address things with his mother and put you first. That’s the nature of a marriage and should happen during the engagement period, too, to show commitment to each other.
The love your fiancé has for you is different from his love for his mother. There really is no measuring or quantifying the love and there shouldn’t be. Did your fiancé’s father love her more than his mother? Why would that be any different? If his dad wasn’t in the picture, change it to her father’s love towards her mother vs her MIL.
Just let her embarrass herself.
My response depends on how your fiancee reacted
How embarrassing for her. What a freak. That’s so sad and creepy.
Oh MIL, I would have hoped you would have been excited about gaining a DIL rather than thinking of it as ‘losing’ your son.
Even my 6 year old child understands there’s a different love for a parent to child than a romantic partner. At least you know the rest of the family saw her crazy mask drop and they did not support that nonsense.
You have to be on the same page as your SO. Have those conversations now before you get married. At this point you should have an idea if he is a pushover or not. Also, use her stupid way of thinking against her:
“I love that I am the only woman my baby loves,” “out of the people in the world, I am his/her favorite” “you can’t hold them, they need their momma,” etc.