I’ve been constipated for a couple weeks and met this cute girl through hinge. She checks all my boxes. We hung out and grabbed lunch one day as a meet and greet and agreed to meet up again. We’ve been texting since then and agreed to meet earlier in the week than planned. I want to make us a picnic and hang out by the river. Got all my ingredients after work and decided, “Hey, haven’t had prune juice in a while and it’d be great if my mind wasn’t focused on cramps all day.”
I started taking swigs from my 1,38L jug. Weird quirk is I actually like the taste. An hour or two of video games go by and I hadn’t realized what I’d done. I drank about 25-28oz of prune juice. Not knowing a single cup or 8 oz is the daily recommendation. The stomach is making the rumblies.
Oh no.
I hit up the washroom. Everyone’s asleep in the house, and I start BLASTING. It didn’t feel awful? Just a torrent of liquid coming out every 5 minutes. One last blast and I hoped it was over. My stomach wont stop rumbling, but I legit feel lighter. Gotta get to sleep but kinda scared. Might’ve sabotaged my date tomorrow if it doesn’t resolve in the next 10 hours.
TL;DR: drank too much prune juice, destroyed my bum, and worried about first date tomorrow as a result
Comments
Godspeed, human Super Soaker
I’m so sorry but this is actually hilarious 😭
eat some fiber, see how it’s going, stay near a loo
if it’s truly awful just text and be like “hey i got sick, nothing awful but i dont want to get you sick, can we reschedule”
You could try to take one pill of imodium, it will stop everything poop related for day or two.
You will probably have to go again before the date but you will be fine. In fact, you will probably feel better
Prune juice, a warriors drink.
Probably not a story to trot out over dinner on your first date but definitely one to tell her later if you guys continue to see each other.
Or you could just message now and say “hey I’m not feeling good at the moment, should it be possible to reschedule our date?”
Prune juice, a warriors drink – Worf son of Mogh
You know for breakfast you should finish the bottle so your body can build up tolerance.
Take some pepto. You’ll be alright.
Remember to stay hydrated through all of this.
You’ll be fine and if you’re not in 10 hours, just forward this thread to your date when you say you have to cancel. (Edit: okay, maybe do this after a few dates, unless you’re feeling really brave.)
If she finds it hilarious and endearing, she’s probably the one.
So you just started blasting
If you go on the date, for the love of god don’t do butt stuff
If you do cancel just tell her hey I am genuinely excited to see you, I’m not blowing you off, I want to reschedule. She will understand
I would reschedule ngl
Start CHEESE therapy.
Lol! I actually know a person many years ago who drank a whole bottle of prune juice. He had never tasted it and decided he really like the flavor of it. He sat on the toilet for an entire day
I would text her and say your not feeling well. That u really want to get to know her more, maybe mention something u really liked about hanging out before and if its ok to do your date on another day once your feeling better
https://preview.redd.it/qlnx3bvtg79f1.jpeg?width=268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d76d7c8b102972d2f9ca28f26ce8144057aa3ae9
Take Imodium asap
Kaopectate. Get at local pharmacy.
There may not be any toilets near the picnic spot so make sure you pick a good place that has a toilet maybe change your plans somewhere inside or postponent might be in order
Constipated a couple weeks, like I’ve only had 3 shits in 2 weeks, or like I haven’t shit in 2+ weeks?
Prune juice tastes delicious. It’s super sweet. Easy mistake to make the first time around. Lol.
1.38L?