I (26M) was engaged to my fiance (24F) was about to go on 3 months in to the engagement (only started dating in February) but have been dropped down to friend cause of recently she’s been seeing me more of a friend then a relationship. I just need help in any kind or advice, I’m still trying to process it all and the fact that I have to basically give up getting this house I was gonna surprise her with cause she asked me to get us somewhere by July and only had to wait 3 more weeks for everything to clear and be approved and I’d have had the keys in my hand for us. But now I’m just back to basically being the gay best friend and have to act like this is alright. Can anyone offer any advice or what my next steps should be?
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You don’t sound mentally stable, l suggest a mental evaluation mate.
Well first of all thank her for telling you her true feelings before moving her into your house! That was a close call.
You moved WAY too quickly. You should take at least 2 years getting to know a person before you completely tangle your life up with theirs by marriage, children, or major purchases like a house. It’s amazing how long some people can hide their true colors.
If she’s lost all romantic feelings for you, I’m sorry to say those feelings aren’t coming back. Don’t torture yourself with her “friendship,” she’s not trying to keep you around in that way for the right reasons.
As much as it might hurt, you really need to make a clean break and cut her completely out of your life. It’ll save you a whole lot of pain and suffering in the end. Take your time with the next one.
Mmm this looks like bisexual kind of thing… am i wrong?
..Still, it does not matter, how can someone to go from “almost marrying” to “we are just good friends here” in tge span of just a few weeks… it does not sound like a healthy relationship, seek therapy because you need it
I’m very sorry to hear you’re going through kind of thing especially when you had a furniture together with her. It sucks and it hurts but you gotta get through this. You got this I believe in you.
What you’re experiencing is a deep kind of heartbreak, not just from the end of a relationship, but from the sudden loss of a future you were building together. You went from being engaged and preparing to surprise her with a house, to being told she now sees you more as a friend. That kind of emotional shift is devastating, and it’s completely valid to feel confused, hurt, and overwhelmed. It’s important to recognize that, no matter how gently it was framed, this is still a breakup. You’re grieving something very real, and it’s okay to let yourself feel that loss. Right now, setting clear boundaries is crucial for your healing — you don’t have to pretend to be okay or accept the role of a friend if it’s painful or humiliating. Politely but firmly taking space for yourself is not selfish; it’s survival. Moving forward with the house, if it was meant for both of you, no longer makes sense and could keep you emotionally tied to something that’s no longer real. Instead, focus on processing your emotions, talking to someone you trust, and giving yourself time and distance from her. This doesn’t make you weak — it shows that you were all in, that you loved fully, and were willing to build a life. That kind of heart is rare, and in time, someone will recognize its value and meet you with the same certainty and commitment you offered here
I really hope everything works out well for you. If you have anything else on your mind feel free to ask and I’ll do my best to help.
Bro, I say this with respect, you’re not just heartbroken, you’re being played.
You were about to buy a house to surprise her, and she “downgraded” you to a friend? You’re not her man anymore, you’re her emotional service animal. And now she’s got you tap dancing like everything’s cool while she figures out her next move? Nah. That’s not love, that’s manipulation dressed up as confusion.
You gotta face it: you weren’t leading in this relationship, she was. And when a man hands the keys over like that, this is exactly what happens. She lost respect. Women don’t leave men they respect. She saw that you were willing to bend over backwards without setting boundaries, without making her earn that house, that engagement, and now she’s got zero fear of losing you. You’re the backup plan.
And I hate to say it, but you’re asking Reddit what to do because deep down you already know this is done. You’re hoping strangers will tell you there’s still hope so you don’t have to confront what your gut’s screaming: she’s out.
But here’s the real loss…you stopped being the man in this relationship. You thought love meant sacrifice, and yeah, love takes work, but you skipped the part where it also takes standards. Now you’re sitting in the wreckage of a one-sided “engagement” where she got to be indecisive and you got to be destroyed.
You want the next step? Stop letting her keep you as her neutered support system while she shops around for the next dude with a backbone. Ghost. Heal. Learn. Level up. Next time, you lead. Not out of control….out of purpose.
And stop calling yourself the “gay best friend,” brotha. You’re a grown-ass man who almost gave this woman a house. Start acting like the fucking prize. Because once you do? You’ll stop getting treated like a placeholder!
Bots have taken over this app. Just look at their comment history. This shit is ridiculous and Reddit needs to fix it.
Not to mention y’all actually buying it and getting emotionally invested in it…
Sounds like desperation might not need to look to others for advice probably just need to take a beat and do some soul searching sounds like you misguided her or yourself.
Honestly, I find it bizarre when people start love bombing each other because when you first start dating, you’re never truly yourself. You’re on a high you’re endorphins are flaring and you can never be yourself you’re on a high or were when this went down. Good luck to you I hope you get your balls back.
If I saw your comment history I’d do the same and run away from you too.
Turn and walk away . Your heart will recover you don’t need that in your life
Even if you have known each other for years you still only started dating on February — that is way too soon to be engaged and buying a house and moving in together. That’s way way way too fast! Even if it made her happy at the time or she pushed for both things, you should have reined her in a bit and not rushed. She clearly wants those things in general, got excited a guy would do those things for her and rushed into it — then realized it was way too fast herself. Good for her! You both moved way too fast here.
She may just need time and to start over and move more slowly which tbh sounds healthier. Or she may have realized that she doesn’t have strong romantic feelings ha for you and was trying to make something with that wasn’t working. Sounds like she wanted this all in theory and since you were such good friends who had been through a lot tighter she tried to make it work but maybe there was just not a romantic spark for her or something.
I would give her some space and then talk to her about it to figure out which of the above it is and how she is feeling about it.
Do not remain friends with this person. Clean break, time to heal. Move forward there will be the right one(s) out there.