What are some things your mom did to make you feel safe, loved and cared for as a child? I’m a new mom to a beautiful baby boy and I always imagined myself having girls. My mom tried, but was not the best mom to my brother and I. One of my biggest fears is that I will subconsciously parent him the same way my mom parented us (helicopter,
narcissistic with no physical or verbal affection).
Give me what you had or you hoped you had growing up.
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Escuchar todo lo que te diga aunque no tengan nada que decir en esos segundos y minutos.
Be emotionally there as much as possible, if they know they can come to you and truly be there for what they feel and are dealing with and those feelings are at least respected and understood, it can go a long way. Don’t shy away or dismiss tough conversations and just hope they work out
I might be speaking from my experience but that would have helped a lot
My mom was always there for me. I wouldn’t say we’re close. But I know that she’s always got my back. She wasn’t the best mom, but she did the best she could for me, and that’s enough. I wouldn’t change how she was, because it helped me become who I am, however flawed that might be.
Buy this book: Amazon.com: Love You Forever: 0000920668373: Robert Munsch, Sheila McGraw: Books Read it to him. Live by it.
Most of all, just be there for him. Let him know he can always come talk to you, no matter what. Don’t judge him harshly, but do correct him when he’s heading down a path that could really hurt him.
If he wants a certain hairstyle, or wears something you don’t love let it go. Let him be his own person. Pick your battles, and save your firm “no” for the moments that truly matter like if he’s hanging around the wrong crowd (the kind of kids like Ziggy Sobotka). If you’ve built a relationship based on love and respect, he’ll actually listen when you say no.
The goal isn’t to control him. It’s to guide him. To love him through the rough patches. To protect him without owning him. If you do that, you’re already ahead of how many of us were raised.
What I wanted as a kid was for my mom to throw the plan away. Me and my siblings were not the kids my mom wanted to raise. She pushed us into things that she thought we needed instead of giving us what we needed and even now I think we all resent her for it as adults.
Once the cops came to our house after dark.
They had followed tire tracks to our house ( in the winter) and asked who had been driving.
Instead of answering their questions she asked them to leave her house.
My Mom left my father when my brothers and i were 8, 9, 11. She was 32 with a gr 8 education and no bank account.
And she knew i had been driving the car that night.