Recognizing chronic burnout. Choosing to leave relationships that no longer serve me. Putting myself way higher up on my own priority list. Addressing and healing trauma.
Changing their name on Facebook to firstname middlename, endless posts about finding herself and mama putting herself first, losing 25-50lbs and suddenly posting weekly gym selfies, finding a new “tribe” that coincidentally are all younger and if they’re her same age they’re unusually unencumbered by spouses and their children are all grown, or they only have them half-time, so they go out way more than Miss Midlife Crisis.
More of an awakening. No tolerance for time wasters, bs dealmakers, or anyone else with toxicity flowing out of them. Spending energy on things that matter most instead of being overly nice or overly accommodating to others and trying to people please. Also, coloring hair in vibrant colors 😊.
6 months away from turning 40.. noticed my 30’s have been a huge garbage dump aside from getting married when I was 33. I hate my job and I hate what I’ve turned into…
So… I decided to go back to things I loved about myself in my 20’s but upgraded to 40’s version lol… dove back into fashion. Changed my mindset about my job (it’s just a job. They can fire me tomorrow and no one will care) started taking care of myself again (self care Sundays) annnddd signed up for 2 fall marathons. 😬
I’m still in mine (49f) (and loving it!). Quit corporate America tech job at 47, colored my hair vibrant ridiculously loud colors, a few facial piercings, and became a bartender at one of the ‘it’ breweries in town.
My give a fuck factor is almost nil and lowered my ridiculously high standards of myself, finally enjoying life
Ironically it’s not only made my life significantly better, but my marriage is stronger, my adult kids spend more time with me, and I have a level of confidence I didn’t even know could exist
Mine was in my late 30s. I was seriously considering leaving my husband and moving to the west coast. Luckily I opted for couples counseling and treatment for depression instead.
In hindsight I have no idea why I thought moving to a dim, rainy location where I had no support system was going to make me feel better.
I’ve gotten very nostalgic for the music I loved in my teens-20s. I’ve had several breakdowns thinking about how I just threw away my old concert ticket stubs in a move, gave away the band t-shirts that didn’t fit anymore, and probably trashed all my CDs—though I keep hoping they’re still somewhere in the house. I can’t remember many of the concerts I went to since I don’t have the stubs and photos/social media wasn’t a thing at the time, and I’ve lost touch with the friends that I went to shows with.
It’s hitting me hard that something that once meant so much to me is gone forever—and that I don’t really have anyone left to share it with. Especially nowadays because my life is just going to work and being a mom and that’s it.
as a male in his forties with many female friends: crafting, handlettering, suddenly starting doing sports (cycling usually), finally getting rid of the douche they‘ve been with for way too long, being more confident…
I support them strongly, haha.
On the other hand, I‘m still waiting for my urge to buy a motorcycle or getting shitfaced in Phuket. So far I‘m holding up my normal self.
Just hit forty and started perimenopause. Last week a client no showed and I spent an hour crying at my desk thinking about how everything has been going by so fast and I can’t stop time. My parents are getting older and watching that process has been the scariest experience of my life. My dog is getting older. My body is changing. Friends and family have started dying more and more.
To cope with existential angst and anxiety I’ve started trying to really live in the moment. Tell and show my people that I love them. Have deeper and more meaningful relationships. I save every picture I see of my parents and take as many pics/videos as I can when I see them.
I guess this is a midlife crisis. But it’s been good for me.
Hm. I had just turned 50 when I had mine. I got a dog, a sports car, got healthy, and blew up my marriage. I’m going to generalize here at the risk of sounding sexist, but I don’t care. Look, for women, I think it’s more a matter of “waking the fuck up” and starting to take care of our own needs and desires. We can spend our entire adult lives caring for others and putting them first. Once the kids are grown, a switch flips. A male midlife crisis seems more about realizing one’s mortality. For women, it’s realizing we aren’t cool with missing out.
Just a heads up for anyone worrying. Not everyone has a midlife crisis and most that do don’t have the “typical” one that involves uprooting their entire life.
My opposite-sex, similar-aged, long-term best friend is going through hers by basically becoming her teenage self again. Lots of goth/punk things, crystals, tarot, crushing on emotionally unavailable guys, etc. The impending, inevitable divorce and second coming of the sewing of wild oats is really the only new thing on the horizon.
Honestly it’s pretty great. Best shape of my life, happier than ever, completely abandoned old career and starting over back in Uni. Generally unconcerned with anyone’s thoughts on anything, very confident in my convictions now. Lots of fun nail polish and rollerblading!
It started at 38 and still going. Bad injury cost me my career, my body went into shambles, mental health severely impacted, got divorced.. so at 39 I was jobless, divorced, barely able to walk and became a shut in who never left the house due to physical and mental issues. Was facing losing my house…
Then it clicked. Life isn’t over just cause I was turning 40 and lost everything.
Took about a year of extreme dedication to physical rehab, therapy, online courses, podcasts about life, health and self care…
I now am feeling physically better then I have since pre pandemic, I’ve reconnected with people, I take a hot bath every single night, put a pool in the yard and made a relaxing self care space, started dating again which is going amazing, and started a whole new career that I had no previous knowledge of but put in the work to learn.
I’m in a better place going into my early 40s than I have been since before I was married.
People will say it gets easier and there’s so much to look forward to. I hated hearing it. But, once I put in the work they were right.
I currently love life. And have so much to look forward to.
Oh, and I booked 2 months in Spain to celebrate a new chapter, cause why not?
I bought a stupidly expensive purse that is impractical. My cats are getting an extra can of wet food every day. I bought a new wardrobe and I paid off my credit card. I’d say it’s lovely. 😆🤷🏻♀️
At 39, I entered what I called my period of “seeking”.
have a full time job but started going to community college classes to find something I could be passionate about (dove headfirst into psychology classes with a plan to get my MFT, BUT the program I can get into would be a lot on top of the current job). Also started taking Spanish.
Started training for my first half marathon, currently signed up for 3 more.
Reinvested my time in my side hobby of writing books.
Basically, my midlife “crisis” was a reminder that I’m alive and I should seek what fills my cup.
Waking up in the middle of the night, brain fog, thinning hair, gaining weight, eye sight changes – hello progressives, moisturizing everything every day, irregular periods, no fucks left to give attitude and for me, suddenly wanting a sporty car instead of a reliable family one 😂
For me: Divorced my verbally abusive and neglectful husband, bought a house of my own for me and my kids (50/50 custody), painted my bedroom a color I Iove, adopted two kittens, planted peonies and hydrangeas, over seeded the lawn with micro-clover, got a tattoo, took a lover and started making kickass soups.
The lover is gone, but I rented a cello and started taking lessons so overall I think that’s a win.
Idk, I feel like in my 40s, I am finally figuring out life. It’s not that it took a crisis to get me there, but realizing where I am at and coming to terms with it has definitely been an adjustment. I think there’s a level of acceptance in figuring out you have zero control of your life and where you are at. Some people go through a crisis during that time, others…don’t. The adjustment period is ROUGH.
According to my therapist, a LOT of women in their 40s start questioning it all. The path they chose, the person they partnered with, etc. You might have changed but your partner didn’t, or your partner might have changed. You’ve spent a lot of your life living for other people and realize it didn’t get you far, so you have a reckoning where you finally start living for yourself instead. You might find a way to do that within your existing life, or you might have to carve out a new path.
Edit, since this seems popular: I’m a woman in my mid-40s going through it. My therapist is a woman in her late 40s, who has emerged from it (and chose to work within her existing life path). She often mentions that she has a handful of other clients in the same shoes as me.
There is no right answer, no right way to live life. You pick a path, and you learn lessons. And you change the path if it gets too painful to stay on it. (And don’t discount perimenopause hormones screwing with your ability to find joy in life.)
I’m just getting severe anxiety and spiraling all the god damn time. Time seems to be flying by and there isn’t enough of me to get anything accomplished I want to and no one around seems to see or feel like anything is important like I do so then I wonder if I’m just fucking crazy. I feel like I’m burning the candle at both ends. I’m only 37.
Electric guitar lessons. I’m older than the instructor. Playing Judas Priest at the recital with the 15 year old (and younger) students will be hilarious.
I just turned 40 last week. Got a breast reduction yesterday! I got my eyes fixed(Lasik) a few years ago. I don’t know if I call it midlife crisis. I just feel like I am finally financially stable enough to do things I have always wanted to do.
I have an entire dresser full of nail polish. The person that told me only “boring” colors were appropriate for adults would be horrified with my collection of glitter, neon, glow-in-the-dark, thermal, solar, magnetic… you name it, nail polish. 😂
My husband and I agreed we never wanted kids, so he got a vasectomy many years ago. We ended up divorcing after 12 years together in early April of 2024. I met my partner in late June that same year and am pregnant at 38 (planned pregnancy)! I’ve never been happier. Best midlife crisis ever.
I’m 38 and still can’t get fucking pregnant after years trying. Everyone assumes we’re child-free by choice and shits on people with kids in front of me. I would cry if I didn’t get so angry instead
From the outside, I am a completely boring white woman. I do occasional marathons, I grow plants, I read books, I have a job that pays well enough but sounds uninteresting to others.
My furniture is still half IKEA, half items inherited from dead people. I accidentally painted my living room gray
Some of my college friends are now swingers and we almost tried that once but chickened out because nahhhhh thanks but no thanks
If I had sourdough starter, my Millennial coffin would be complete
Working out consistently, gained an insane amount of confidence, dressing nicer for myself, take more time for self-care, foster animals, growing random plants, learned to slow down and relax, and feeling at my best.
I spent my entire career building up to becoming an equity parter at a large local CPA firm. At 40 I was offered equity and decided I didn’t want it anymore and left to start my own firm. At 45 I decided I didn’t want my own firm and moved cross country to work remotely as an employee of the firm I once owned.
In 10 years I went from working 60/70 hours weeks with client lunches and dinners and meetings and a long commute to working at home 35 hours a week, puttering my my garden and hanging out with my husband and kid. I’m in perimenopause now and feeling better then ever!
I’m 44 now. I’ve been struggling with perimenopause symptoms. I had a partial hysterectomy a month ago after finding a large mass in my uterus. It dawned on me recently. My life is half over and the hysterectomy marked the transition -in my mind- into middle age. I’ve worked in my career for over 20 years. I have a great job. I work remotely and I have plenty of freedom. But I hate it. I’ve hated it for close to a decade. I can’t wake up every day for another 20 years filled with dread and trying to convince myself that “it’s just a job” has never changed how I feel. So my midlife crisis looks like this: I’m turning in notice at my job. I’m opening my first Pilates studio in two months (even though after practicing for seven years, I’ve never actually taught). I’m putting my house on the market, moving into a studio apartment to cut expenses. I’m restructuring my life to pursue whatever makes me happy instead of focusing on what’s going to make the most money.
At the tail end of the 40s here and honestly, it’s been a mixed bag.
Pros and cons:
Parents getting old/sick or dying. Appreciating the time you have with them and who they are as a person, not just a parent.
Disillusionment with the way the world works. Money, power, greed, fear being such driving forces. Learning to appreciate the opposite and choosing to notice the good in the world more. Rejecting mainstream media.
Fading tolerance for … just about everything. This is especially hard for a people pleaser. I heard this best described as “doormat to landmine”. A liberating journey that can turn life on its head. Usually for the best in the end.
Body begins to slow down and complain about choices made and aging in general. I’ve yet to find an upside, I do not like it. I thought maybe it would be gradual like gray hair, then wrinkles, then belly fat, then health issues. NOPE, all at once.
Not so much regret but realising that the choices made while you were invincible (younger) shaped where you are today and how different things could be had you chose differently in a thousand little moments. And they’re just the ones you can remember! Sure makes you realise we really do the best we can with info we have available to us at the time and that it all works out OK in the end.
My fav things are – laughing at myself, not giving too much of a shit what others think of me and appreciating being present in the moment more.
Mentally and physically exhausted from trying to keep the girls we wanted so much and my full time job afloat
Husband decided to nope out last year, I’m guessing he knew what dealing with perimenopause would do to all of us so decided to get cancer and do 2+ years of chemo which didn’t work at so it’s been hard and not fun at all
0/10 do not recommend to choose this adventure.
Trying to keep it together isn’t easy when you’re trying not to F up your kids but also keep your own sanity
Dark humour, cutting out toxic people out of your life and not caring about things that really don’t matter helps a lot ! Seriously everyone needs to understand if the report is late mate too bad, relax not brain surgery just a report no one is dying because you need to wait another 15/30 mins, the system is down go make a coffee someone else’s job to fix that no need to get your blood pressure up sure when it’s back up you’ll have customer complaining nothing you can do apologise and move on to the next customer, next
I’m a 44 year old women and I just bought myself a Harley. I haven’t ridden in 20 years and had a momentary thought that I need to find a man with a bike to take me for rides because I miss riding, which immediately transitioned into the realization that I’m 44 and can do whatever the hell I want. So I got a purple Harley. So maybe that’s my mid life crisis.
I’m about to turn 44. I closed my business , am about to hike the John Muir Trail even though I’m out of shape and over weight and when I get back am moving to Thailand. Still haven’t decided if it’s a mid life crisis or a current-state-of- the- world-so-fuck-it crisis. lol.
Comments
Eat Pray Love type trip
I now spend all my money on horseback riding
Getting plastic surgery, going to clubs and banging 20 year olds
New tits, new dick, who this?
My wife had 2x affairs
Dating people in their 20s.
Maybe even having another baby.
Are you asking because you want to recognize what is happening to someone else or is this question about yourself?
The common thread in it for every woman is a drop in estrogen levels. How the mind and body reacts to that is vastly different for each woman.
I’ll let you know when I’m through it. Mostly I desperately want to travel a lot, but can’t really b/c kids.
Get a puppy and treat it like a baby.
For me it was a trio of new piercings, two new tattoos, and red as frick hair.
Going to craft fairs as a buyer.
Realising she can make things and maybe people might buy them.
Going to craft fairs as a seller. All year round.
Divorce
A Jeep wrangler and a boyfriend 10 years younger than you
Depression? That’s what it looks like for me.
Getting tattoos
I avoid everyone, I go to work and go home, I don’t wanna to deal with anyone, not even the people I like.
Recognizing chronic burnout. Choosing to leave relationships that no longer serve me. Putting myself way higher up on my own priority list. Addressing and healing trauma.
Midlife crisis? the 40´s were the best years of my life.
I WANT THEM BACK!!!!!!
Changing their name on Facebook to firstname middlename, endless posts about finding herself and mama putting herself first, losing 25-50lbs and suddenly posting weekly gym selfies, finding a new “tribe” that coincidentally are all younger and if they’re her same age they’re unusually unencumbered by spouses and their children are all grown, or they only have them half-time, so they go out way more than Miss Midlife Crisis.
More of an awakening. No tolerance for time wasters, bs dealmakers, or anyone else with toxicity flowing out of them. Spending energy on things that matter most instead of being overly nice or overly accommodating to others and trying to people please. Also, coloring hair in vibrant colors 😊.
A first tattoo
I buy too many plants and went back to finish undergrad.
6 months away from turning 40.. noticed my 30’s have been a huge garbage dump aside from getting married when I was 33. I hate my job and I hate what I’ve turned into…
So… I decided to go back to things I loved about myself in my 20’s but upgraded to 40’s version lol… dove back into fashion. Changed my mindset about my job (it’s just a job. They can fire me tomorrow and no one will care) started taking care of myself again (self care Sundays) annnddd signed up for 2 fall marathons. 😬
I bought a beach house and spend my summers and any free weekends I can there. It’s super good for my mental health
I turned 40, quit my job in Ohio, moved to key west, then mainland Florida, and now in the mountains in WNC. Wouldn’t change a thing.
Applying to a music school to finally become an opera singer because why TF not.
I’m still in mine (49f) (and loving it!). Quit corporate America tech job at 47, colored my hair vibrant ridiculously loud colors, a few facial piercings, and became a bartender at one of the ‘it’ breweries in town.
My give a fuck factor is almost nil and lowered my ridiculously high standards of myself, finally enjoying life
Ironically it’s not only made my life significantly better, but my marriage is stronger, my adult kids spend more time with me, and I have a level of confidence I didn’t even know could exist
Getting that stick out of my ass was long overdue
I moved to a farm in the woods in the middle of nowhere.
I’m late 30’s but I finally decided to ask my husband for the kinky sex I was too self-conscious to ask for in my 20’s
(We are monogamous. Please don’t DM me)
I’m headed to a villa in the Maldives next month, on my own! First holiday in 15 years (I’m 46) – this is my midlife crisis!
Mine was in my late 30s. I was seriously considering leaving my husband and moving to the west coast. Luckily I opted for couples counseling and treatment for depression instead.
In hindsight I have no idea why I thought moving to a dim, rainy location where I had no support system was going to make me feel better.
Wishing I had had kids. I am now emotional and depressed going through perimenopause, and doing it all alone.
I’ve gotten very nostalgic for the music I loved in my teens-20s. I’ve had several breakdowns thinking about how I just threw away my old concert ticket stubs in a move, gave away the band t-shirts that didn’t fit anymore, and probably trashed all my CDs—though I keep hoping they’re still somewhere in the house. I can’t remember many of the concerts I went to since I don’t have the stubs and photos/social media wasn’t a thing at the time, and I’ve lost touch with the friends that I went to shows with.
It’s hitting me hard that something that once meant so much to me is gone forever—and that I don’t really have anyone left to share it with. Especially nowadays because my life is just going to work and being a mom and that’s it.
as a male in his forties with many female friends: crafting, handlettering, suddenly starting doing sports (cycling usually), finally getting rid of the douche they‘ve been with for way too long, being more confident…
I support them strongly, haha.
On the other hand, I‘m still waiting for my urge to buy a motorcycle or getting shitfaced in Phuket. So far I‘m holding up my normal self.
Just hit forty and started perimenopause. Last week a client no showed and I spent an hour crying at my desk thinking about how everything has been going by so fast and I can’t stop time. My parents are getting older and watching that process has been the scariest experience of my life. My dog is getting older. My body is changing. Friends and family have started dying more and more.
To cope with existential angst and anxiety I’ve started trying to really live in the moment. Tell and show my people that I love them. Have deeper and more meaningful relationships. I save every picture I see of my parents and take as many pics/videos as I can when I see them.
I guess this is a midlife crisis. But it’s been good for me.
Hm. I had just turned 50 when I had mine. I got a dog, a sports car, got healthy, and blew up my marriage. I’m going to generalize here at the risk of sounding sexist, but I don’t care. Look, for women, I think it’s more a matter of “waking the fuck up” and starting to take care of our own needs and desires. We can spend our entire adult lives caring for others and putting them first. Once the kids are grown, a switch flips. A male midlife crisis seems more about realizing one’s mortality. For women, it’s realizing we aren’t cool with missing out.
Overdoing getting into gardening
Just a heads up for anyone worrying. Not everyone has a midlife crisis and most that do don’t have the “typical” one that involves uprooting their entire life.
perimenpause
Existential crisis
My opposite-sex, similar-aged, long-term best friend is going through hers by basically becoming her teenage self again. Lots of goth/punk things, crystals, tarot, crushing on emotionally unavailable guys, etc. The impending, inevitable divorce and second coming of the sewing of wild oats is really the only new thing on the horizon.
It looks like not shelving yourself for everyone else’s needs and finally doing things for yourself.
Long distance running. Currently training for marathon number 4.
Honestly it’s pretty great. Best shape of my life, happier than ever, completely abandoned old career and starting over back in Uni. Generally unconcerned with anyone’s thoughts on anything, very confident in my convictions now. Lots of fun nail polish and rollerblading!
Deciding to pack up all your stuff and start a new life in a new city.
It started at 38 and still going. Bad injury cost me my career, my body went into shambles, mental health severely impacted, got divorced.. so at 39 I was jobless, divorced, barely able to walk and became a shut in who never left the house due to physical and mental issues. Was facing losing my house…
Then it clicked. Life isn’t over just cause I was turning 40 and lost everything.
Took about a year of extreme dedication to physical rehab, therapy, online courses, podcasts about life, health and self care…
I now am feeling physically better then I have since pre pandemic, I’ve reconnected with people, I take a hot bath every single night, put a pool in the yard and made a relaxing self care space, started dating again which is going amazing, and started a whole new career that I had no previous knowledge of but put in the work to learn.
I’m in a better place going into my early 40s than I have been since before I was married.
People will say it gets easier and there’s so much to look forward to. I hated hearing it. But, once I put in the work they were right.
I currently love life. And have so much to look forward to.
Oh, and I booked 2 months in Spain to celebrate a new chapter, cause why not?
I bought a boat. My therapist asked why. My answer: I already had a red sports car.
I’m 40. I dyed my hair purple and started taking pole dance classes. I’m the happiest and most fulfilled I’ve ever been.
Questioning if it’s depression or perimenopause, most likely
I think a midlife crisis spurred me to take up bicycling when I was 45. Three years later, I am still having a blast.
I bought all the clothes and purses I wanted last year. This year, I am paying off loans and doing debt relief. Then I will divorce my husband.
I bought a stupidly expensive purse that is impractical. My cats are getting an extra can of wet food every day. I bought a new wardrobe and I paid off my credit card. I’d say it’s lovely. 😆🤷🏻♀️
At 39, I entered what I called my period of “seeking”.
have a full time job but started going to community college classes to find something I could be passionate about (dove headfirst into psychology classes with a plan to get my MFT, BUT the program I can get into would be a lot on top of the current job). Also started taking Spanish.
Started training for my first half marathon, currently signed up for 3 more.
Reinvested my time in my side hobby of writing books.
Basically, my midlife “crisis” was a reminder that I’m alive and I should seek what fills my cup.
For me, I had a major stroke for my 40th. Today is my birthday irl, but I’m completely alone with little desire to celebrate anything anymore
Waking up in the middle of the night, brain fog, thinning hair, gaining weight, eye sight changes – hello progressives, moisturizing everything every day, irregular periods, no fucks left to give attitude and for me, suddenly wanting a sporty car instead of a reliable family one 😂
My wife is trying to convince me to buy her a mini highland cow.
Does that count?
For me: Divorced my verbally abusive and neglectful husband, bought a house of my own for me and my kids (50/50 custody), painted my bedroom a color I Iove, adopted two kittens, planted peonies and hydrangeas, over seeded the lawn with micro-clover, got a tattoo, took a lover and started making kickass soups.
The lover is gone, but I rented a cello and started taking lessons so overall I think that’s a win.
Idk, I feel like in my 40s, I am finally figuring out life. It’s not that it took a crisis to get me there, but realizing where I am at and coming to terms with it has definitely been an adjustment. I think there’s a level of acceptance in figuring out you have zero control of your life and where you are at. Some people go through a crisis during that time, others…don’t. The adjustment period is ROUGH.
Oh, I’m 39 and going through a Goth phase.
So that’s an option.
According to my therapist, a LOT of women in their 40s start questioning it all. The path they chose, the person they partnered with, etc. You might have changed but your partner didn’t, or your partner might have changed. You’ve spent a lot of your life living for other people and realize it didn’t get you far, so you have a reckoning where you finally start living for yourself instead. You might find a way to do that within your existing life, or you might have to carve out a new path.
Edit, since this seems popular: I’m a woman in my mid-40s going through it. My therapist is a woman in her late 40s, who has emerged from it (and chose to work within her existing life path). She often mentions that she has a handful of other clients in the same shoes as me.
There is no right answer, no right way to live life. You pick a path, and you learn lessons. And you change the path if it gets too painful to stay on it. (And don’t discount perimenopause hormones screwing with your ability to find joy in life.)
I’m just getting severe anxiety and spiraling all the god damn time. Time seems to be flying by and there isn’t enough of me to get anything accomplished I want to and no one around seems to see or feel like anything is important like I do so then I wonder if I’m just fucking crazy. I feel like I’m burning the candle at both ends. I’m only 37.
Divorce. Perimenopause.
When I turned 40, all of my fucks flew away. I imagine they now reside in some poor 20something that thinks she needs Botox.
I’m right in the middle at 45, just chillin’ enjoying my childfree life in JC/NYC. 🤷♀️
The only thing I can foresee being bad is parents dying but I hope they hold on till I’m in my 50’s (if only they could live forever) 😭
Electric guitar lessons. I’m older than the instructor. Playing Judas Priest at the recital with the 15 year old (and younger) students will be hilarious.
I just turned 40 last week. Got a breast reduction yesterday! I got my eyes fixed(Lasik) a few years ago. I don’t know if I call it midlife crisis. I just feel like I am finally financially stable enough to do things I have always wanted to do.
I have an entire dresser full of nail polish. The person that told me only “boring” colors were appropriate for adults would be horrified with my collection of glitter, neon, glow-in-the-dark, thermal, solar, magnetic… you name it, nail polish. 😂
We either start hoarding a bunch of stuff for our hobbies or start giving away a bunch of stuff and downsizing
For 40s it’s divorcing
Got into birdwatching & fucked a lot of hot dummies in their 20s
Laying bed all day, miserable and depressed, bc of perimenopause and a collapsing marriage. Somehow the male version seems a lot more fun.
Turned 44 last month. Full blown hoe phase. I regret nothing.
My husband and I agreed we never wanted kids, so he got a vasectomy many years ago. We ended up divorcing after 12 years together in early April of 2024. I met my partner in late June that same year and am pregnant at 38 (planned pregnancy)! I’ve never been happier. Best midlife crisis ever.
For me, entering 40 meant getting out of the crisis
I’m 38 and still can’t get fucking pregnant after years trying. Everyone assumes we’re child-free by choice and shits on people with kids in front of me. I would cry if I didn’t get so angry instead
From the outside, I am a completely boring white woman. I do occasional marathons, I grow plants, I read books, I have a job that pays well enough but sounds uninteresting to others.
My furniture is still half IKEA, half items inherited from dead people. I accidentally painted my living room gray
Some of my college friends are now swingers and we almost tried that once but chickened out because nahhhhh thanks but no thanks
If I had sourdough starter, my Millennial coffin would be complete
Bought six chickens a few years ago, now have almost 40.
Working out consistently, gained an insane amount of confidence, dressing nicer for myself, take more time for self-care, foster animals, growing random plants, learned to slow down and relax, and feeling at my best.
I’m not sure if this is a crisis. 40F
I spent my entire career building up to becoming an equity parter at a large local CPA firm. At 40 I was offered equity and decided I didn’t want it anymore and left to start my own firm. At 45 I decided I didn’t want my own firm and moved cross country to work remotely as an employee of the firm I once owned.
In 10 years I went from working 60/70 hours weeks with client lunches and dinners and meetings and a long commute to working at home 35 hours a week, puttering my my garden and hanging out with my husband and kid. I’m in perimenopause now and feeling better then ever!
I’m 39 and will be going to my first kpop concert in a couple weeks 🤷🏻♀️
I’m 44 now. I’ve been struggling with perimenopause symptoms. I had a partial hysterectomy a month ago after finding a large mass in my uterus. It dawned on me recently. My life is half over and the hysterectomy marked the transition -in my mind- into middle age. I’ve worked in my career for over 20 years. I have a great job. I work remotely and I have plenty of freedom. But I hate it. I’ve hated it for close to a decade. I can’t wake up every day for another 20 years filled with dread and trying to convince myself that “it’s just a job” has never changed how I feel. So my midlife crisis looks like this: I’m turning in notice at my job. I’m opening my first Pilates studio in two months (even though after practicing for seven years, I’ve never actually taught). I’m putting my house on the market, moving into a studio apartment to cut expenses. I’m restructuring my life to pursue whatever makes me happy instead of focusing on what’s going to make the most money.
At the tail end of the 40s here and honestly, it’s been a mixed bag.
Pros and cons:
Parents getting old/sick or dying. Appreciating the time you have with them and who they are as a person, not just a parent.
Disillusionment with the way the world works. Money, power, greed, fear being such driving forces. Learning to appreciate the opposite and choosing to notice the good in the world more. Rejecting mainstream media.
Fading tolerance for … just about everything. This is especially hard for a people pleaser. I heard this best described as “doormat to landmine”. A liberating journey that can turn life on its head. Usually for the best in the end.
Body begins to slow down and complain about choices made and aging in general. I’ve yet to find an upside, I do not like it. I thought maybe it would be gradual like gray hair, then wrinkles, then belly fat, then health issues. NOPE, all at once.
Not so much regret but realising that the choices made while you were invincible (younger) shaped where you are today and how different things could be had you chose differently in a thousand little moments. And they’re just the ones you can remember! Sure makes you realise we really do the best we can with info we have available to us at the time and that it all works out OK in the end.
My fav things are – laughing at myself, not giving too much of a shit what others think of me and appreciating being present in the moment more.
Well it’s not been fun
Mentally and physically exhausted from trying to keep the girls we wanted so much and my full time job afloat
Husband decided to nope out last year, I’m guessing he knew what dealing with perimenopause would do to all of us so decided to get cancer and do 2+ years of chemo which didn’t work at so it’s been hard and not fun at all
0/10 do not recommend to choose this adventure.
Trying to keep it together isn’t easy when you’re trying not to F up your kids but also keep your own sanity
Dark humour, cutting out toxic people out of your life and not caring about things that really don’t matter helps a lot ! Seriously everyone needs to understand if the report is late mate too bad, relax not brain surgery just a report no one is dying because you need to wait another 15/30 mins, the system is down go make a coffee someone else’s job to fix that no need to get your blood pressure up sure when it’s back up you’ll have customer complaining nothing you can do apologise and move on to the next customer, next
I’m a 44 year old women and I just bought myself a Harley. I haven’t ridden in 20 years and had a momentary thought that I need to find a man with a bike to take me for rides because I miss riding, which immediately transitioned into the realization that I’m 44 and can do whatever the hell I want. So I got a purple Harley. So maybe that’s my mid life crisis.
I’m about to turn 44. I closed my business , am about to hike the John Muir Trail even though I’m out of shape and over weight and when I get back am moving to Thailand. Still haven’t decided if it’s a mid life crisis or a current-state-of- the- world-so-fuck-it crisis. lol.