Women who are in long term happy healthy relationships, what made you two decide to not marry?
Women who are in long term happy healthy relationships, what made you two decide to not marry?
r/AskWomen
Women who are in long term happy healthy relationships, what made you two decide to not marry?
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My partner and I have been together 7 years, I’m in my late 30s, him early 40s.
I have zero, ZERO, desire to plan a wedding. I’ve been to enough to know that they are not fun for the couple, but especially the bride.
In our state, certain political parties are trying to ban no fault divorce.
He thinks the government shouldn’t be involved in a personal relationship, and we’re not religious.
We’ve talked about a courthouse thing one day, but it’s not a priority until it makes financial sense.
I was just thinking I’m not excited about planning a wedding at all. I don’t even want to throw a big party and I feel at a loss to even have something small. It actually is a high point of stress for me.
I hate parties, the planning, peopling, pretending ..
I don’t like being the center of attention.
Marriage creates divorce lawyers
An overpriced outdated tradition
Being 18
We are not doing a government marriage (license, registering through the state ec) for multiple reasons
I don’t really care. Were having a wedding in Nov and I’m so excited to be his wife 🥰 the only people who matter to us will be there and recognize us as husband and wife. Once I sat with this for a while, I realized I liked this more than a government marriage. I felt no pressure, no fears about “making a mistake” etc etc. I get to focus on spending my time with the man I love so much.
I hate weddings, don’t want to change my name and can’t be bothered going through all the legal stuff. It has no appeal to me whatsoever!
Both of us have “been there, done that” if you catch my drift.
Although I wouldn’t say no if he asked me, we talked about it when we first started dating. He was a “not doing that again” and I was a “I don’t need it, not looking for it, but I’m a never-say-never kinda person”
So we live together in sin 😝
I don’t need a wedding. I don’t need a ring. I love him and we are very happy. A piece of paper isn’t going to make us be in love, be faithful, be happy or put the effort and work into our relationship. Personally I know tons of people that got married and didn’t last any where close to 5 years. My parents have been together around 40 years never married and they are annoyingly cute and still go out on dates. That and the way with the political current climate I wouldn’t want to risk it. They are going for handmaiden tale authority in women and honestly if things go bad I want to be able to divorce. I want to be able to vote and be in charge of my own life and money. So it’s just safer to not get married.
We will have a cultural, non-legal ceremony, to celebrate our relationship. It won’t be a wedding. We’ve been together ten years.
We have both been married before and neither feel a need to do it again.
Importantly, we are considered common law where we live, with all the rights and responsibilities that go with being married in the eyes of the government. If not, we probably would make it legal.
I like being a girlfriend. He likes being my boyfriend. I picture us in the old folks home, dressing up to go on dining room dates, him pulling out my chair, telling everyone he’s got a hot date with his girlfriend.
I just think it’s so cute and sounds so lovely. I love being a forever girlfriend.
My grandmother was with my “grandfather” over 30 years and never married. She had been married twice before, and just wasn’t pressed for a third round… plus by then, she had amassed a bunch of property and didn’t want his ne’er-do-well kids to try and lay claim to what she intended for HER children/family if she died before him. (She thought to put it in trust after he died.)
Society and fake feminism
Many tell me that I’m young and will change my mind when I’m older but I am very adamant about not marrying since my parents went through a very messy divorce when I was a child so binding a partnership with law is something no one could ever make me comfortable doing because if they truly loved me they don’t need a lock and key on that
It’s just not a priority. I find the only real benefit to being legally married is being next of kin and We have our life insurance policies, POA, and PODs all set already.
Also, divorcing in our state is a nightmare, and we’re both too practical to say that wouldn’t happen to us. And health benefits for me and baby are better without marriage. Sounds shitty to say but that’s the way the cookie crumbles I guess.
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My lad is in law school and FAFSA would count my income as /his/ if we got married – which would mean he’d get less financial aid. So, we’re putting it off until after thats done and dusted.
Together fourteen years we do want to get married but we have had a lot of life challenges thrown at ús.
It’s just not something we’ve felt we needed or felt that the Commonwealth of Virginia needed to have any part in.
Of course I do recognize that the legal contract of marriage does come with legal protections that are good to have. However, we are exploring our options with POA and anything of that nature.
We have said vows to one another in front of our God and that’s been good enough for us for almost 21 years.
I think weddings are a scam and everything related is propaganda. I like being legally single and being with my partner because I want to, not because a paper says so.
We would be married, except it’s expensive to do a nice wedding. And i don’t want a courthouse wedding. So we’re just waiting for an opportunity, I guess. We’ll love each other just the same tomorrow, married or not.
I kinda had the mindset of just assuming something like that would happen, kinda like the whole rigmarole of having kids. But then in my mid 20s I came to the realisation I didn’t want kids, so that put a full stop at the end of that. But I still didn’t have an opinion one way or another about marriage, just assumed it was something that would happen one day I guess.
I met my current partner, and while we were still only in the dating phase, we had big talks about what we wanted in the way of life, marriage, kids. By the way I can’t recommend that enough, to have those big talks at the very beginning so you know where you both stand! Neither of us wanted kids so that was great. Marriage, he told me, was also something he’d never want, and I found myself surprised at that. And I was surprised that I was surprised haha. I asked him why. He said he didn’t need the government to get involved in a relationship that’s personal to him, that all he cares about is a long-term committed relationship. And I realised that that was good enough for me. I mean it’s very much a two-person decision, if you want to get married you both kinda have to want it equally to actually get married haha.
We’ve been together 5 years in October, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m in this for life now. He’s since talked about maybe getting engaged – but obviously a forever engagement rather than it being a stepping stone into marriage – so that we’re “more” than boyfriend/girlfriend, but it’s not necessary to me. As time’s gone on, I’ve realised there are a lot of powers that marriage grants, that you can just grant without it. It kind of makes marriage a bit redundant I guess. Sorry, no disrespect to anyone who’s married!
He didn’t want it. It wasn’t something I felt I needed to do again. Neither of us are religious. We aren’t going to have children. My kids are adults.
He would marry me if I wanted to so it was my decision not marry. I simply have no desire for marriage at all to anyone and I don’t understand the point of it in today’s world but I’m not anti other people marrying. I see myself as being married to me, I believe that actually, I’m all I really have forever.
Marriage isn’t on the immediate horizon, but it’s definitely a topic we’re discussing. We’re both focused on personal and professional growth, supporting our families, and building our individual foundations.
Ultimately, it comes down to solidifying our financial stability. It’s not that we’re struggling, but we recognize marriage involves significant investments beyond just love. So, we’re actively preparing for it without feeling the need to rush.
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We dont want to share a house, we live on the same street 17 doors down from each other, been together for 15 years, shared the same street for 6 years, marrying would make us fiscal partners and that would be detrimental financially when we dont share a house
If we could avoid being fiscal partners then marrying would be on the table, but thats just not possible
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