I started properly thinking about this after my ADHD diagnosis. Being diagnosed as a girl is harder than boys because are disruptive and girls aren’t. My teachers genuinely believed that I didn’t have adhd because I got good grades but by the time I was diagnosed it was too late. But even in general, girls are so judged for being ND and people are less forgiving when it comes to girls as opposed to boys.
For example in school, I’d see a girl who was ND and she was would be heavily disciplined if she made a mistake and was always told to take responsibility for her actions whereas a boy who behaved the same way as the girl and his behaviour was excused BECAUSE he was ND.
Even in media a boys actions are always excused but a girls isn’t. I was watching the show parenthood and there are these two parents with TWO children who have autism; a son and a daughter.
The way they treat their son compared to their daughter is crazy. Their son was literally harassing a girl and instead of actually trying to explain it to him, they went to the girl he was harassing and made her be partners with him. Then he continued to harass. Mind you they were in charge of a special needs school for ND kids but they constantly excused his behaviour. They never held him accountable. But when it came to their DAUGHTER. She would exhibit the exact same behaviour as her brother, but the parents were always on her ass and would discipline her. She would literally get into trouble for everything. And I feel it brings up this whole issue that boy’s behaviours will always be excused but girls are criticised for not managing their ND traits better. That’s why I also feel a lot of ND resort to masking because they’re constantly penalised for their actions whereas boys can get away with their actions. Even the whole when boys misbehave, people will be so quick to say what if he has adhd etc etc but if girls show very classic signs of being ND, she’ll be rejected and told she is just lazy needs to work harder 🫠
Idk maybe I’m just overthinking things but I feel a discussion is needed