I seem to understand why I am frustrated or angry but I’m not sure I’m emotionally mature enough to know how to handle these feelings well, so they just continue to build up and I know that’s not healthy.
What are some ways y’all handle those feelings?
Comments
Not well, i get angry easily and that’s something I need to work on.
Using a heavy bag always helps
I take a deep breath then think “Is this gonna matter in 5 years?” If the answer is no (and it’s near universally no) then why am I angry about it now, if the answer is yes then it’s probably a situation needs actually resolving somehow.
Anger “feels good” because it taps into an older part of the limbic system – Mr Reason can go on holiday and you get lost in it but it’s a system (along with fear) that evolved to cope with “I’m wandering this trail, SURPRISE TIGER” and not some idiot cutting you off in traffic.
You understand why you’re angry. That’s a good start.
Anger is often a secondary emotion. What’s leading to the anger? What do you want that you don’t have? What emotional need is that going to fulfill?
Don’t just focus on the anger. Look at the sadness, loneliness, fear, envy, and all the other emotions that turn into anger if not addressed. You might very well find a better way to express them than through anger.
Gym.
Fuck sake, I feel like this is the answer to like 99% of the problems raised on this subreddit… but:
• Exercise
Releases endorphins, reduces cortisol, gives you a sense of accomplishment and lets you get vent anger physically without harming anyone or anything (unless you’re completely reckless).
Remember that emotions are temporary. If you feel them and don’t try to avoid them then they typically go away on their own. Granted this is assuming you don’t feed into any of the frustrated thoughts. It gets really easy to get riled up if you just constantly affirm the frustrated thoughts. I mean when I get frustrated with traffic I tend to try and take a deep breath and tell myself that in the grand scheme of things this is just a minor inconvenience. If I instead just constantly let myself think about all the frustrating parts of traffic and other people’s actions that are frustrating me then it’s easy to get worked up. Also sometimes you are in objectively shitty situations that are frustrating. In that case you probably are just going to have to accept that it is something you will have to deal with but try and focus on the positive aspects of your life. Yeah the situation is shitty but it’s not the end of the world and I can handle it.
Frustration is just a signal that something needs your attention not your destruction.
Breathe, feel it, then act. Not react
Poorly