So my MIL is a nightmare. She is high maintenance, entitled, acts like a toddler and wants to be coddled. Last visit with her last year was an awful experience- three weeks of misery where she stomped boundaries, acted like my home was hers, pouted and cried to hubby when she was manipulating for something etc. I swore after that visit I didn’t want her in my home again. My hubs has a complicated past with her and since he was abandoned by her as a child and she reentered his life in his teen years, he wants that connection. She had another child from another marriage and always favored them but now that child is on the outs and my hubs is her “favorite” —likely because he now has $$ and can “take care of her”. She always cries poverty lately and says she’s starving even tho she lives in a paid off house with another child and gets her late husbands pension and social security. She drives me mad and I don’t want her in my house but my hubs says it’s his house too and he wants her there. I said no more than a week and he has to take off the whole time to deal with her and her manipulations and shenanigans… (although she mostly pulls that crap around just me and acts innocent to hubby) He said he would do that but then we won’t get a family vacay in fall. I’m livid because I feel he won’t have my back again and she’s just going to act entitled like before and try to act like she lives here and her needs take precedence. I’ve been very low contact with her since then but hubby talks to her all the time and tells her everything about our family life. Anyone else feel like they’re competing with their own MIL for affection and prioritization from their spouse?? What do I do? I’m dreading it already and if I leave the house while she is here she’d love that and act like she “won” and just get really comfortable in MY house with me not around.
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I’m botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
^(To be notified as soon as RozyOh13 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe RozyOh13 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) ^(click here.)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
Not overreacting. She’s sounds crazy AF. And gently, your husband seems to be not far behind with the manipulation tactics.
Why don’t you just take a vacation while she is at your place for a week? Let his mother be his problem while you relax somewhere else. I wouldn’t be there while she is . You’re an adult and don’t have to put up with being around people you don’t like.
You’re not alone in feeling like you’re competing for affection. Set clear boundaries and communicate your needs to your husband. Consider having a calm, honest conversation about your concerns and how his mom’s behavior affects you. Prioritize your own emotional well-being and find ways to cope with the upcoming visit.
Can you stay elsewhere when she is there. Do t sacrifice your mental health. His mother is his problem.
You’re not competing, you’re losing a game you didn’t even agree to play. She’s not confused, she knows exactly what she’s doing. And your husband? He’s enabling it because it’s easier than growing a spine. Let him babysit her for a week. You go on the “family vacation” solo.
Mommy’s boy. Gag.
HE can go to her. Fuck this. No she can’t come. Period.