It’s my birthday today (yay), and it’s making me reflect on how, every year without fail, I’m fucking miserable on my birthday. I hate people making a big deal for me, and I hate it if they don’t. I can’t place my finger on what about the day stresses me out so much! All I know is not many people wished me yet and I’m in tears. Which is so stupid, because I’ve spent the best part of two decades telling people that I hate my birthday as much as being acknowledged. Even if everyone I ever knew wished me, I have no doubt I’d still be crying. Does anyone else go through this or am I just broken?
Comments
Happy Birthday!!
I think a lot of people feel down on their birthdays. You are not broken.
Maybe you wish someone would make a big deal out of your birthday even though you’ve told them you don’t want them to, like they do in the movies?
Though IRL some people REALLY don’t want people to make a big deal, and believing people when they tell you something is a good thing.
Perhaps you could find a way to treat yourself today, with a favorite food or drink or outfit or movie–or all of the above?
And maybe next year you could consider throwing yourself a little party? Or just invite a few people out to dinner.
Maybe you hate to allow yourself to enjoy when people make a big deal about your birthday. Your self hatred hurts and so does the idea that no one cares about you.
Happy birthday!! Please smile and warmly thank everyone who wishes you a happy birthday. Truly enjoy it, because it is a pleasure for people to celebrate you and you deserve it.
happy birthday!! this might be a bit more of a practical advice but i found that baking a cake for myself helps. it keeps me busy during the day (hard work) and i can celebrate after. basically cake day. no nostalgia no birthday depression. just figuring out how much flour i need to put in.