Sorry if this isn’t incredibly coherent or well typed out I’ve only recently begin to process my past.
I don’t really have the confidence to talk to my close friends about this topic, and it’s only recently I’ve been able to start thinking about myself after briefly discussing it with my girlfriend.
To be blunt I’ve experienced some form of assault / trauma three times in my life at 25 years old. First two times I feel like I put myself in a bad situation and didn’t really think about the consequences. It was an older woman who took advantage of me when I was drunk, and a woman the same age as me at the time who assaulted me in my sleep after semi-hooking up the night before.
The third time was a bit more complicated and long winded, but to make a long story short I was in a mentally unstable / borderline abusive relationship where my ex would use sex as a weapon. Often forcing me into having sex out of self defence to prevent her flipping out on me. I know that might sound strange but there’s a lot more tied into that than I’d like to get into here.
Im now in a relationship with the most caring and loving woman who I intend to spend the rest of my life with. But with such a healthy relationship comes the processing of prior unhealthy ones and I’ve already had some issues when it comes to sex which are directly related to these previous incidents.
I guess the crux of this post is, if you’ve experienced sexual abuse in any form, how were you able to process it and how are you now, has it effect your sex life, relationships, mental health?
Comments
U just move on. Life goes on
Don’t just sit on things, it’ll change the way you think without you even noticing.
Go see a therapist, even if you’re not ready to tell your partner about it. I let my issues go for many years, but I can say that therapy definitely works wonders if you let it
Yep.
I was sexually abused by my Mom from when I was a toddler onwards. When I got a little older it became more intense, and it only stopped when her alcoholism made it all but impossible for her to function and I went to live with my Dad at age 11.
It destroyed my sense of self worth, my body image, etc. I still have nightmares, and intimacy with women is all but impossible because of anxiety and fear. I had one girlfriend my whole life and she responded to my panic from her initiating sex by flipping out and dumping me.
I went to therapy for awhile and learned to feel a little better about myself, and I will go back at some point.
This is actually a lot more common than society wants men to believe. Literally 1 in 6 men have sexual trauma, and at least 1 in 18 was victimized by a woman.
I suggest you reach out to http://www.1in6.org , as they may be able to help you.