My wife and daughter are out running errands and I started to make my lunch. I just came off a long work stretch of back to back meetings. I knew I needed to use the bathroom sometime soon, but I dodnt feel any real urgency. I didn’t even think I hard a fart coming, but apparently my body went into autopilot for it.
It turned out to be very loose poop. I am wearing basketball shorts and I found out that I pooped by the sound of watery stool hitting the kitchen floor.
I just cloroxed the whole floor, threw out the trash, and started laundry for my clothes. I don’t think I’m going to tell my wife about this one.
I am cracking up but have no one I can safely share this with.
Tl;DR I got caught up in making lunch and pooped on the kitchen floor by accident
Comments
thats hilarious. i would die laughing if my partner shared this with me
Sometimes you need to release a test fart and see what comes with it.
All air, all clear.
Got you inputs and outputs mixed up, eh?
I ate spicy processed food for like 3 days straight a month or so ago. I thought I had bad gas and let it go. Not a real fart, more of a minor pressure release. It was smelly brown water. Also in the kitchen. I was completely alone and still totally mortified.
It reminds me of an old joke from where I come from:
A child named Pierino, very distressed, goes to his teacher and asks her: ”Teacher! Teacher! What weight does the air have?”, the teacher with a calm and patient tone replies: ”Pierino… the air has no weight…”, then Pierino says to her: ”Holy shit teacher!… then I really know why I shit myself!”
What did you make for lunch? I bet that shit was good!
Jesus Christ
dodnt is not a word