I’m not sure how to ask this.
By nature, I’m not a crazy serious guy and I am normally pretty laid back.
People around take that and try to poke fun at me, pass snarky comments.
For example, a buddy said “did you want ice in your bourbon?”
I replied “real men don’t put ice in their bourbon”
This person knows me otherwise I wouldn’t say that as a joke
If it someone I didn’t know as well, I’d just say no thanks
I’m 41 and I can blame others but I want to see where I can improve, what I can improve
Is there a book on this?
I’m not sure if this makes sense what I’m asking
Comments
Not to avoid answering your question but why would this be something you want to fix? In the example you gave it seems like you responded with social intelligence, that was a friend so your response was friendly banter.
On occasion I’ve wanted to be more aggressive or serious but, as long as you can turn it on when the situation warrants it, I’d argue you being a peaceful chill guy is a major positive.
Are you saying that kind of stuff every time someone asks you something? Maybe it’s not the fact that you’re saying goofy stuff, but perhaps the frequency. A well placed joke is good, but over and over can become repetitive and played out.
I’m a bit confused. It seems like you’re laid back, well adjusted, and have a sense of humor. FWIW, I’m 46yo and consider myself the same way. I’m serious about only a few things in my life and I’m really laid back. It’s a good way to be, IMO. I know I didn’t answer your question though!
I don’t understand your question. The scenario you described was not an ethical one and honestly not even a social faux pas.
Being fun doesn’t mean people get to treat you like a joke. Start pausing before you laugh things off not everything deserves a chuckle. The shift starts there
As a lifelong clown, my people would call for the men with the butterfly nets if I didn’t talk shit. Never had any interest in changing though. I love that at my daughters wedding her groom was under strict orders NOT to look at me. Made my wife laugh so hard everyone thought she was crying.
I am the same late 30s. I mean change if you want, but dont feel you have to.
I need to get to know someone before I show them my goofball side. Someone who appreciates my humor. Otherwise…I am 100% business.
Bro, life is too short to take yourself seriously all the time. I work with several highly intelligent engineers and these guys are some of the goofiest motherfuckers. I say use your goofiness to your advantage. Hone your funny and become a stand-up comedian LOL!
People say goofy things when they feel the need to respond, but don’t actually have a response.
You don’t need to respond.
You can remain silent.
You can say what you really think instead of trying to be clever.
You can contemplate for an hour… or a day… or a year before answering.
Being a goofball is very important in life.
It legitimately helps reduce stress, especially when you successfully make yourself and others laugh.
If you know when it’s appropriate, that’s enough.