I (27f) and my bf (29m) have been together three months now. He is a citizen of the country we live in while I am an immigrant. Since most of my family lives abroad, I post stories every day and posts about once a week to keep them up to date with my life.
My bf didn’t use insta much before me, that’s where we started messaging after we left the dating app, but it’s the main place I interact with family and friends who I don’t live near anymore.
I’m about to be gone for three months. I have to do rural work to get my next visa, and I made my bf aware of this the day we first matched, he says he is okay with it. That’s not really the concern here.
The actual concern is how we will keep connected during this time, especially with something so new. My bf watched my stories on occasion, although he has only liked two of my posts. When he watches my stories he comments and reacts to them, it’s very sweet and attentive.
Recently he hasn’t watched them in over a week, not even one story. When people watch my stories, who I don’t see often irl, it is a reminder that they care about me and that I still matter to them. It helps when I can’t see them face to face! Because I am about to leave, I want to ask my bf to watch my stories more regularly bexause it will help us be connected in the same way I feel connected to friends and family back in my home country. However, I am afraid this is not a fair ask/childish
He only really uses insta to scroll memes and message me. I want to know if it would be appropriate to ask him to be more consistent while I am gone to help us keep connected. We will be face timing and words with friends while I am gone too, this isn’t the only thing. But I’m insecure about asking him to do this because I’m not sure if it’s a fair ask. He is a busy man and has a life outside me and I want him to watch my stories every day as it makes me happy to see him interact with me that way. Is this a fair thing to ask? If he says no, I will be sad and tbh it will feel like rejection so what can I say to him to make that apparent, in a way which isn’t manipulative.
Thanks
Tl;Dr I’m leaving for three months and want my boyfriend to I teract more with Insta while I am gone because it will show me he cares and misses me.
Comments
I mean you shouldn’t have to ask in my opinion. I know some people don’t care for social media, but they should care for their partners and want to be in contact with them..
If you’re going to be talking on the phone regularly, then yes I think this is a strange thing to expect.
If your boyfriend isn’t big on social media then he may not understand this kind of request/importance, but you should open up a conversation about how you want to feel connected whilst you’re away and come up with things together.
You could be putting unnecessary pressure on your relationship by making this such an important factor.
Whereas if you decide together what the contact is going to be it’s more maintainable
Yes, forcing social media on someone who doesn’t want it is irrational.
can you not just text and call each other? why is social media so important to communicate