So as the title says, I hear that men at the time may not realize having “the one” there but afterwards, when the woman is gone. Is this true or do you usually know if she is not the one for you?
What are your views on a claim that men usually realize only later that they let “the one” go?
r/AskMen
Comments
“The one” in my humble opinion is an excessively positive and nostalgic look at the past as being better than the present. There are some genuinely good partners who go unappreciated out of immaturity, yes.
But more often than not, it’s just nostalgia.
Looking back at some of the women I’ve been with. I realize they were nuts and I wasn’t in great spirits either. I guess it depends on the individual man.
There is no “one.” They were just a good one that slipped past you. Men who never get out and see what else is out there and just reminisce on that one adopt that mindset.
I have let a few of them “ones” get past me.
Great white buffalo.
Same. the one is prbly the best one For me in retrospect. immaturity and life and timimg plays a part.
“The one” statistically does not exist. 8 billion people is a lot of ones.
Looking back and finding “the one” is nostalgic folly.
I don’t think there is necessarily only one, but there are definitely people you just meet at the wrong time, that don’t fit into your life at that moment but are perfect later.
Or you just wear rose tinted glasses about the past. That’s also quite common.
I don’t believe in “the one”. I do believe in the right person at the right time.
Maybe if I stayed with my 1, 2, 3… Nth girlfriend I would be elated, or I would be divorced, with 7 kids, that I never get to see, and paying child support thru my nose… Or somewhere in between. The truth is, I don’t know, I don’t care. Something you learn in my culture and is ingrained since you’re in your mom’s uterus is that the “should’ve and would’ve” doesn’t exist, so I don’t feed nor do I dwell on those thoughts
No. There’s always a reason why the “letting go” happens. Even if emotions jump in later, and a person “forgets” the past and starts remembering the good moments only. There were reasons for letting go. No point in fooling ourselves.
Its usually because our brains remember the good and not the bad.
The person in your mind and memories isn’t the actual person.
I believe its even stronger with your actual first love
Probably different for everyone…I’m pretty observant but one great possibility did get by. Work was about to transfer me to a new town. I became very interested in a certain teller at my bank. I finally got the nerve to ask her out to lunch. She asked if her coworker “Jane” could come too. Of course-safety in numbers, no problem. After a 2nd lunch with all 3 of us & me not sure about how to make the next move a week had gone by and I learned the woman I was interested in at the bank had quit & moved on. It suddenly became clear that Jane was the one who was really interested in me…I suddenly focused on her giddiness just to see me every day. I gave it some deep thought one night & decided with only a few busy weeks left to wrap up my work & move I shouldn’t pursue it. I tried to avoid seeing Jane at the bank much though I did say a nice goodbye on my last day. What I knew of her was all good-she seemed so genuine, wholesome & could’ve been a great fit. Unfortunately the timing just wasn’t there. I didn’t think I was up for a short relationship (only to be ripped away) and I didn’t want to put her through anything either. Somehow though I believe she could have been one real good possibility for me that I let get away. I regret not making the most out of the short 3ish weeks I was finally aware of Jane and her interest in me…especially knowing how some truly poor mate choices turned out during that period of my life. Anyway, letting Jane get away is one of my bigger regrets.