So my father died 10 days ago, he had been suffering from chronic liver disease for past 2 years and it got worse from past 6 months.
I am 23 and can’t process all what’s happened and don’t know what to do now.
How to deal with death of my father?
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I lost my parents in a car accident (both at the same time), i was 32… you dont get over it, as things wonr be the same, you will get used to it though over time. The first few years will be hard as your realize you have no one to ask stuff too, so your need to think and do things yourself with out advice. I moved out that country and that help over write some memories.
If its of any help, you were aware it was going to happen.
I’m sorry for your loss!
All I can say really is that it takes time but one day you’ll find yourself smiling at happy memories more than feeling the loss.
My dad and I made appointments to get his affairs in order prior to his death. That actually made dealing with it a lot easier because it made for a lot of natural opportunities to talk about what was happening. I kind of got a jump on dealing with his passing as a result of all of that. That probably can’t help you but maybe it can help someone else.
It also gave us reasons to spend time together. I drove him to all his cancer appointments for example. The cancer place we went to has bereavement counseling they offered free and group therapy if you wanted that. I didn’t but your dad’s healthcare provider or hospice may have something similar if he did hospice.
Long walks, man. Walk it out.
At least he isn’t suffering anymore, sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss. Do you have a great friend and/or spouse? Someone who’ll listen to you and help you by being there. Everybody grieves their own way and it may not always be for the best.
If you feel like you don’t have nobody to talk to or anything, you can always contact me. I will listen anyone in need of a listener and I will help as much as I can.
Just don’t try to force any reaction. Just know that your dad isn’t suffering anymore.
Sorry that happened man, I lost my dad when I was 10 from the same thing. He was a good man. I still think about him a lot. Something that might help contextualise him in your life and help you remember him as he wants to be remembered is to sit down with the old box of photos. Look at him when he was young, look at him when you were young, go through your life and think what were we doing that day, where were we, what’s something Important that happened that day.
Having so many memories will help you eulogize him, rationalize his impact on you and consider the legacy he has left. Maybe think how you’re going to improve on that legacy and be the best person you can be
I’m sorry man. When I lost my dad last year I was desperately reaching out for some kind of handbook on how to handle and process it.
Unfortunately there is no handbook. The only thing that has helped even slightly was reaching out for grief counseling. At least then I had an outlet for my pain instead of just shutting myself away and stewing with it because everyone else would just say “be strong for your mom” at the slightest hint of me venting or crying.
it’s not much but it’s something.
I’m sorry for your loss man.
I lost my dad when I was 23. It’s not easy, but it does get easier. Death can’t take away memories that you had together
My dad died 3 years ago after 4 months in a coma from a car accident. It’s easier with time, but I still think about him daily. What helped me at the beginning is a thought that he doesn’t suffer any longer and my mom can move on.
This quote from Julian Barnes nailed my never ending grief over losing my Mum.
“And you do come out of it, that’s not the question. But you don’t come out of it like a train coming out of a tunnel, bursting through the downs into sunshine and that swift, rattling descent to the Channel; you come out of it as a gull comes out of an oil-slick. You are tarred and feathered for life.”
Take all the time you need to feel all your emotions. I forced myself to be strong when my grandfather passed on my mom’s side and I wish I actually allowed myself to feel emotions.