Lack of reciprocity, I stopped romanticizing them and realized how they weren’t actually interested in me or my life but enjoyed the attention I gave them…
Benign neglect. When I realized he didn’t need to fix me, I attempted to relate to him on a a different level. He lost interest, but attempted to keep me on the hook, stretching conversation lapses longer and longer, one word answered, etc.
A girl who I thought i was going to date switched from at the start, i wanna date you just not right now to a I dont want to date you period. I tried to have a conversation about that and shes been ghosting me for 5 days since and ill be honest day 1 and 2 sucked. But after that now thinking about it, I see a lot of red flags that I should be happy I avoided.
Summertime came around and I found out he didn’t know how to bathe himself correctly, nor did he take constructive criticism well. Only lasted 4 months.
Once I realized they didn’t feel the way I did. Once it became super clear that their attention was based on what services I was doing for them and not who I was, which was what my attention was based on.
I think we had come really close to confessing “I like you and I think you like me, should we do something about that?” Like we’d been hanging out a lot, texting and messaging each other daily, I think we were both feeling it.
He was out at a kind-of-work-related event, got drunk and took some rando home with him. And that was the moment where I was like, “Welp. Ok, not dealing with that!”
We weren’t officially anything and I wasn’t even upset, it was just a wake up call to his behavior and how he was probably very immature in reality.
Completely obsessed with this guy, sleeping with him off and on for years, he would never commit, but I took what I could get. Very low self esteem. The “relationship” started when I was 15 and he was 24. This was back in the 80s when that sort of thing was not frowned upon.
It ended when I was about 21, the first time I ever turned him down for sex, I was dating someone else. We were alone at his house, I was buying pot. And then he raped me. That was the last time I ever saw him and the obsession was completely gone. I still think about him from time to time.
He cheated on me. Which both her and I discovered was from the getgo, in fact he cheated on *her* with me and then just kept it up for years.
Took me about a month and a bit, but reanalysing a lot of past behaviours + SOOOOO much back-and-forth with the other woman = us realising all of it was just one giant fake-ass connection so he could get laid.
Really breaks all the illusions he was a green flag guy, of which I was constantly praising him for and his response was “I try”. Clearly no, you fucking didn’t.
When I found out how far my ex fiancé’s obsession with purity went. He literally said that if a woman was forced at knifepoint to commit a sex act, that he wouldn’t consider her as a partner if she didn’t choose death.
This was before I also found out he was cheating on me.
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The moment I stopped romanticizing them and actually paid attention to how they treated me. Once the illusion broke, so did the obsession
They were mean
Lack of reciprocity, I stopped romanticizing them and realized how they weren’t actually interested in me or my life but enjoyed the attention I gave them…
He bragged to me about his recent cocaine binge. He’d already ruined his life with drugs once, and had always led me to believe he was sober.
Sorry you’re in pain, ex best friend, but I don’t see how cocaine is a better solution than actually doing your physical therapy.
Seeing his search history after he used my computer.
Benign neglect. When I realized he didn’t need to fix me, I attempted to relate to him on a a different level. He lost interest, but attempted to keep me on the hook, stretching conversation lapses longer and longer, one word answered, etc.
Only talking about himself, not interested in anything I do or asking about me
A girl who I thought i was going to date switched from at the start, i wanna date you just not right now to a I dont want to date you period. I tried to have a conversation about that and shes been ghosting me for 5 days since and ill be honest day 1 and 2 sucked. But after that now thinking about it, I see a lot of red flags that I should be happy I avoided.
When I realized he didn’t care enough if I was comfortable as long as it benefitted him.
Going thru his phone & seeing how him & his friends talked about women.
Getting to know him 🤣🤣🤣
Summertime came around and I found out he didn’t know how to bathe himself correctly, nor did he take constructive criticism well. Only lasted 4 months.
Lying, hitting me, and lack of reciprocity
find the ick and only focus on that lol
When a man not treating me how I wanted to be treated became a turnoff
Once I realized they didn’t feel the way I did. Once it became super clear that their attention was based on what services I was doing for them and not who I was, which was what my attention was based on.
He told me he would unblock me when he wanted to talk. Like whoa how did I get so far from the plot here. Blocked him permanently and immediately
I think we had come really close to confessing “I like you and I think you like me, should we do something about that?” Like we’d been hanging out a lot, texting and messaging each other daily, I think we were both feeling it.
He was out at a kind-of-work-related event, got drunk and took some rando home with him. And that was the moment where I was like, “Welp. Ok, not dealing with that!”
We weren’t officially anything and I wasn’t even upset, it was just a wake up call to his behavior and how he was probably very immature in reality.
Completely obsessed with this guy, sleeping with him off and on for years, he would never commit, but I took what I could get. Very low self esteem. The “relationship” started when I was 15 and he was 24. This was back in the 80s when that sort of thing was not frowned upon.
It ended when I was about 21, the first time I ever turned him down for sex, I was dating someone else. We were alone at his house, I was buying pot. And then he raped me. That was the last time I ever saw him and the obsession was completely gone. I still think about him from time to time.
He cheated on me. Which both her and I discovered was from the getgo, in fact he cheated on *her* with me and then just kept it up for years.
Took me about a month and a bit, but reanalysing a lot of past behaviours + SOOOOO much back-and-forth with the other woman = us realising all of it was just one giant fake-ass connection so he could get laid.
Really breaks all the illusions he was a green flag guy, of which I was constantly praising him for and his response was “I try”. Clearly no, you fucking didn’t.
When I found out how far my ex fiancé’s obsession with purity went. He literally said that if a woman was forced at knifepoint to commit a sex act, that he wouldn’t consider her as a partner if she didn’t choose death.
This was before I also found out he was cheating on me.
I watched from afar as he drunkenly fell off the dock and rolled like a weird maniac turtle in the sandy beach below and it was just like…. ok loser
I knew he wasn’t faithful, but I never caught him to know for sure. When I did finally catch him, I actually felt relief, and my feelings changed.