So, I (25F) recently got engaged, and my fiancé (27M) and I decided to host a small engagement party at my parents’ house. I invited a few close friends and family, but I didn’t invite my cousin, who has a history of being rude and disrespectful at family gatherings.
A few years back, she made a hurtful comment about my weight at a family reunion, which really upset me. Since then, she’s continued to make snide remarks about my life choices and relationships, often joking at my expense. I’ve tried to talk to her about her behavior before, but she never takes it seriously and just laughs it off.
On the day of the party, I was excited to celebrate with my loved ones. My cousin shows up uninvited with a couple of her friends, acting like she owns the place. I was shocked and felt uncomfortable, especially since I’d made it clear she wasn’t welcome. When I asked her to leave, she got upset and started making a scene, saying I was being a snob and that family should always stick together.
Now, my family is divided. Some think I was right to stand my ground, while others believe I should have let her stay since it’s family. AITA for kicking her out?
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So, I (25F) recently got engaged, and my fiancé (27M) and I decided to host a small engagement party at my parents’ house. I invited a few close friends and family, but I didn’t invite my cousin, who has a history of being rude and disrespectful at family gatherings.
A few years back, she made a hurtful comment about my weight at a family reunion, which really upset me. Since then, she’s continued to make snide remarks about my life choices and relationships, often joking at my expense. I’ve tried to talk to her about her behavior before, but she never takes it seriously and just laughs it off.
On the day of the party, I was excited to celebrate with my loved ones. My cousin shows up uninvited with a couple of her friends, acting like she owns the place. I was shocked and felt uncomfortable, especially since I’d made it clear she wasn’t welcome. When I asked her to leave, she got upset and started making a scene, saying I was being a snob and that family should always stick together.
Now, my family is divided. Some think I was right to stand my ground, while others believe I should have let her stay since it’s family. AITA for kicking her out?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. The action I took that would be judged is I kicked my cousin out of my engagement party, despite the fact she’s a blood relative
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
she turned up uninvited, and brought friends. NTA.
NTA, if she’d been interested in being a respectful guest, she wouldn’t have shown up to your small party with a bunch of random friends. She managed to make a scene and leave her mark without being invited, NTA
NTA. Showing up uninvited is faux pas enough but to also bring friends? Seems like she wants to be the centre of attention.
NTA – if family should always stick together, then why is she constantly tearing you down?
NTA, the utter audacity people have is mind boggling.
You have every right to kick her out after showing up uninvited WITH people. She’s had her way for a while, her snide comments have made it through the net on multiple occasions. This first time she’s confronted with a stop, she can barely handle herself. Good for you for standing your ground, boss a b** move. Your family members siding with her should be carefully watched for they don’t seem to have your best interest at heart…
Nta hire security because she will ruin your wedding.
NTA, ruined your special engagement party.
NTA, 100%. If she’s been consistently rude and disrespectful, there’s no reason to let her ruin your special day. You set boundaries, and she ignored them, showing up uninvited like she owns the place. That’s wild. Family or not, you don’t owe anyone a space at your celebration if they’ve been toxic. Honestly, you handled it well. Letting her stay would’ve just given her more room to make you feel bad on a day that’s about you and your fiancé.
NTA…she was an uninvited guest showing up with other uninvited guests. Keep people’s reactions in mind when compiling the invite list for your upcoming wedding.
NTA. She wasn’t invited. End of. But if your family knows how she treats you and still defends her assholery then they are assholes.
She wasn’t invited, she brought friends I’m assuming you don’t like or even know. I’d have done the same. I don’t spend money on folks I don’t care for. She might have did you a favour though, if you haven’t shown any sign of doubting yourself to your family. You are a badass. Not going to put up with any crap. With a wedding in the future, that’s a fantastic reputation to have.
NTA. I love my parents and my adopted brother… but I hate extended “family.” I have 5 aunts & 2 uncles, and idk how many cousins. I claim 2 cousins out of all of them. Fuck family! Remember those who are on your side… Delete & block the rest.
You did the right thing by asking her to leave. She wasn’t welcome and should not have turned up especially with additional uninvited guests.
Firstly, CONGRATS! Secondly, let me get this straight…she craps on you forEVER and when she shows up and is an even bigger jerk, you’re “the problem?” Stop it. And yes, “family” does stick together, but blood does not a family make. Those are relations. Family is who you choose. She’s a jerk and you’re NTA.
NTA. “Family should stick together”
Yeah but family wouldn’t make bad “jokes” about the other nor with INVITE HER OWN FRIENDS to a party SHE WASN’T INVITED TO.
You were completely understandable. NTA.
NTA
You never turn up to a party without an invite, to not only do that but to make a scene when asked to leave makes her the asshole.
NTA Stand up to your cousin.
If you don’t they’ll continue to take everything you as a joke.
NTA
Gonna be a helluva wedding. BRB, gonna get some popcorn.