Hello, quick question I wanted to ask. I(21F) recently went to get together and the host is someone I find very attractive. However from my conversations with him, he isnt looking to date which is understandable. As we are also working together for a short period of time.
How do I snap myself from being delusional.
Cause I catch him looking at me sometimes but I think he does that with everyone. And also he keeps talking about how I should go on dates with other people to explore. Cause I told him, I’ve never dated before. Along he keeps trying to ship me and another person toegther.
I just want to ask him if he finds me attractive but I dont want to burn bridges kr awkwardly make him uncomfortable. How do I ask this question or should I not ask at all based on infomation provided?
Comments
Don’t date coworkers
Don’t ask him.
> However from my conversations with him, he isnt looking to date which is understandable.
Sounds like you have your answer already. Respect his boundaries.
Why do you want to ask him? What are you hoping to get out of it other than an ego boost?
He’s already giving you several explicit signs. He might find you attractive but is encouraging you to explore more.
You’re young. Don’t push this one. If an opportunity opens up in the future then Great!
Every person has a different setting in their mind so burning bridges is something that you won’t be able to predict but if you are really into him just try being yourself and say how you feel not to the extent that you make yourself vulnerable but just enough to tell them that you wanna hang out sometime with them.
But if you have a lot of common people as friends or if he’s in a position to be able to mess with you after rejection then just don’t even try (it’s better to be cautious than to judge someone’s character from how you see them everyday and how you feel about them)
From a guy giving a girl solid advice…..just say it, don’t think about it. Guys will love it and feel like it’s a win. But don’t do the handsome or cute labels, a lot of time that’s used as a soft touch to the ” she’s just being nice ” trying saying something more off beat than those two words. We get them from our mom’s and grandmas so be different. He will definitely feel like your not being nice and you would be surprised at how little men get told they are attractive and if a man says they don’t want to be told then they are just straight up lying to you.
….why
You can just honestly ask him. He will answer you honestly.
be direct or don’t ask at all, you might not like the answer. Besides, what do you even get out of it if he does find you attractive
As a guy, I can tell you I frequently look over at women I find attractive all of the time. I think I’m subtle about it but I dont know tbh. If a girl asked me if I liked her I would say no or avoid the question, honest or not. If she was ugly I’d deflect deflect deflect. If she was hot I’d probably answer with another question to keep a conversation going without having to answer immediately. I’d eventually express that I am attracted if the conversation is good.
Be subtle about the way you ask him too. “What are qualities I should look for in men?” or “Do you have any qualities I should try to find in others?” or “I wouldnt have any problems dating a guy if they were like you but I’ve just had no luck”
Ask him “does this work on me?” (meaning does your outfit look good on you) His answer may shock you and you asked it in a “not creepy way.” most guys are honest with this answer.
You should ask. Better to regret the things you did in life, than regret not doing anything. This guy could be your soulmate.
just appreciate having some eye candy at work.
Personally I would talk about dating with him, he mentioned he doesn’t want to date so ask him if he wants a one night stand or FWB etc. If what he wants lines up with what you want, ask him.
Don’t ask him if he thinks you are attractive. If he wants to date you he obviously thinks you are attractive, if he doesn’t want to date you then it is very possible he still finds you attractive but your ‘goals’ don’t line up.
>>from my conversations with him, he isn’t looking to date.
There’s your answer.