(CW: brief description of birth trauma)
I have been holding this in for almost 5 months and every time I think about it I get SO mad so I have to finally rant about it.
I gave birth in February to my beautiful baby girl. I had a difficult and prolonged delivery, baby was big, sunny side up, I had a PPH and 3rd degree tear and a manual placenta removal without an epidural. Long story short on that: I was traumatized for about a week and panicked anytime I thought about my delivery. I also had severe baby blues and was crying nonstop for like 2 weeks.
For days after, I could barely stand without panting and feeling starved of air because my hemoglobin was incredibly low and sitting/standing/walking was a painful challenge due to the tear. I had a large blood transfusion and recovery was awful. I didn’t want guests, I just wanted to lay down, figure out breastfeeding, and bond with my baby when I got home. Cue the MIL.
My MIL was asked to go to my house to look for my cat who got out while I was in the hospital giving birth because my dad accidentally let him out. She was made incredibly aware of all the details of the birth and we told her we were on the way home. I expected her to be gathering her things, maybe briefly saying hello before she left to give us some space (I should have clarified I suppose) but that wasn’t what happened. She stayed for hours after we got home and what’s worse, she made my house a mess that I just had professionally cleaned so it was clean when we got home. Instead of offering to clean up after herself, she instead offered to hold the baby and feed her while making comments about how she looked just like her father. She then watched me grab a vacuum and proceed to clean up the mess without offering help, then when I was done and sat down she said “if you need help with anything just let me know!” internally screaming
She then suggested we order some Chinese food at our expense, we ate dinner with the baby in the bassinet next to me, and she kept trying to tend to the baby instead of allowing me to. So far as getting up and grabbing her as I was already attempting to stand but couldn’t move quick enough due to the tearing. I said “I got it” and motioned for her to give me my baby. So she did.
Then she took home the leftovers lol.
WOW I needed to get that off my chest. I told my husband about how it all went down and how I felt and he’s just as disgusted by the behavior and apologized for not seeing it when it happened. We have strong boundaries now but MAAAAAN I’m still angry months later.
Is it me? Am I dramatic?
Comments
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Dude…… That was horrifying. I’m so sorry.
Did nobody tell her to leave?
Holy cow! Is she always so oblivious? It’s certainly not you!
Wow. Where was DH during her overstay? Why didnt he clean the mess she made? You were obviously in an incredible amount of pain and should not have been pushing anything around or bending over.
Wow…. She is an inconsiderate ass. I don’t think you’re overreacting.
Not you. You’re not dramatic. She sucks. And your husband should have wrangled her.
Not dramatic. Is she generally this inconsiderate? I know major life events can really alter a person’s behavior temporarily but she sounds very clueless at such a vulnerable time. Some people just don’t have the awareness to look around and do something about a mess they’ve created. I hope she treats you much better now!
Here to validate how you feel! That’s outrageous! Glad that your husband saw it, but would’ve been much better for him to see it right away and get her out. I would still be fuming about it too!
I think you’re not being dramatic enough. I’m not being sarcastic. Did she adopt your husband or something? Has she never given birth???
I hate her and I don’t even know you. You deserved so much better than that.
Why did you not tell her to leave!!!!!!