I just had my MIL’s first grandbaby about 2 months ago and she’s been both annoying and impossible to please. Like, I’m the postpartum one with my first child after infertility but she keeps making this about her or causing lowkey drama that she tries to draw my husband into.
This week she’s called husband to say she’s going to have to take care of the baby soon if she’s going to watch them occasionally while I’m at work. (We’re not desperate for the help btw, she volunteered to babysit some.)
Like why’s she gotta make it bitchy? We’ve literally told her and FIL they’re welcome to visit! That’s all she wanted, to see the baby. Which is fine. But she just had to phrase it this way, implying she won’t help us if she doesn’t get her way? Or maybe she wanted me to say no and look like a bitchy to husband.
I’m noticing a pattern where she tries to require things of my husband instead of just asking “Can I come visit?” Or inviting him. It’s more like “You’re doing X on X date” while we live 1.5 hrs away in a different city.
My husband has anxiety about telling people no. I’m starting to think this is why.
So I told husband, sure, what day would she like to come? I’m trying to be nice and let the issues of the past 3ish month go. My husband knows I’ve been irritated with her, but I really do want a peaceful family.
He called her back to ask what day and she said “Actually I’m too busy this week, maybe next week.” For context she’s been OBSESSED with becoming a grandma, tried to make a nursery in her house, had a grandma shower, and literally cried when my husband told her no one but us would be holding our baby the day of my c-section.
I’m starting to think maybe she’s more selfish and/or manipulative than I presumed? It’s definitely a different vibe than we had before any babies entered the picture. I used to think she was a lil demanding of my husband around holidays, and rude not to make any effort to coordinate w my family, but we otherwise got along well. We came to the occasional summons about every other month and that was that.
I’m trying to embrace just doing what I want now since she’s never happy anyway since the baby came. Also she tried to takeover father’s day and I’m still bitter about it so don’t want to put much effort into the relationship.
She complains, but doesn’t want to visit. Makes ridiculous requests, like that we travel to visit with a 1 month old, and gets annoyed when we say no. But she’s obsessed with being a grandma and talks about it to all her friends.
Also, do you think she’s trying to start issues between my husband and I? He’s told her no recently and rarely or never has before.