How often do you actually have sex in your long-term relationship and are you happy with that?
How often do you actually have sex in your long-term relationship and are you happy with that?
r/AskMen
How often do you actually have sex in your long-term relationship and are you happy with that?
Comments
Twice a day. Once in the morning, then again at night.
Anywhere from 0-5 times a week. Generally around twice. That’s after 15 years of marriage and two kids. Yeah, I’m happy.
About three times a week I’d say is our average. I think that’s pretty good.
15 years the last 5 months 7 days a week prior to that 5 days a week.
(I include BJ’s in with sex)
I am of course very happy
All these guys bragging lol I love it.
But normally an average relationship with 2 full time jobs is lucky 3-4 times a week.
Add kids it’s 1-2 times a week.
5 years ago I bought a 30 pack of condoms. They’ve expired.
Most people here are telling porkys. 12 years, a couple times a month
[deleted]
I was married for 24years, 5 months, 22 days, the last 6 months we had sex one time. Come to find out she was cheating, if the amount of sex y’all have drops off unexplained, start looking for the cause, generally it just doesn’t happen without reason.
For as long as I was in long term relationships we had sex twice a day, every day. Yes, I was happy with it and I think that’s what kept the bond strong.
1 to 2 times a week and every day while on holiday. Quality, not quantity, is all that matter. 13 years together, one kid.
Not as often as before our kid was born but that’s ok, life changes and we still love each other even as times have gotten busier. We are currently at a few times a month but we have a toddler so we are exhausted a lot.
I’m in a LDR for a while and work offshore so we aren’t together in person that often.
When we are together, every day. She is open minded about my kinks so yeah I’m happy with how things are in the bedroom.
Every day usually, sometimes twice a day. Recently had one that was 3 times in half a day, which is not usual. If we are in a lull it’s like twice a week. Sometimes life forces that. 15 years of marriage.
I’m happy. Very much so.
It’s wild, raw, passionate sex too.
Married for decades and we average twice a week.
Quantity has never been an issue and we align on that. I am just not happy with the quality. Variety and curiosity is lacking since she just wants missionary quickies to feel close and then move on with her day.
2 to 3 times per week, married 21 years. Still experiment and take our time.
Maybe once a year if we could be bothered
We are very happy
Sex becomes much less important as you get older
Every time we assemble IKEA furniture without breaking up feels like foreplay — so, rarely, but emotionally rich.
Wife and I have been together 7 years, married for 5, and have a two year old. Prior to baby, we had sex 4 to 7 times per week. Since baby, it’s definitely less, like 2 or sometimes 3 times per week, but it’s not due to lack of desire. It’s exhaustion. Once baby is a bit older and more capable of doing things on her own, I expect we’ll get back to it. And yes, very happy.
We can hold up for a year and then fuck like rabbits the whole summer. I dunno, am I happy? Yeah. Lack of sex in the winter or whatever is not anyone’s fault. We have many kids and careers. We do what we can when we can.
Been married for 3 years, we have sex about 4-5 times a week. Sometimes twice in a day. Less if we’re arguing lol. But I’m very happy and satisfied in my sex life.
8 years, two children, both of us in our late 30’s. It depends upon the week as we have very busy schedules and some days we’re both too exhausted to do much more than be couch potato’s for the one hour of free time we have together in the day. However, this isn’t always the case. Average would be once a week, sometimes more, sometimes only like twice a month.
There’s no right or wrong here, it’s what works for you, your partner, your schedule, and what it is you both desire to feel fulfilled. Frequency means nothing if the feelings aren’t there, don’t force a schedule
Yall probably won’t believe me but I don’t care I’m just answering the question….
So far I’m at 186 times this year. Wife and I are a normal, happily married couple with two kids. Been together since 2009 (she’s 41 in almost 40) and this woman can’t keep her hands off of me. I started keeping tabs just to see how many times a year we were going at it. Very, very lucky. As 24 and 25 year olds it was three times a day. Once the kids quit breast feeding and started going to sleep on their own it is where it used to be before kids.
From iPhone notes:
2025 secks
Jan: 27
Feb: 26
March: 33
April: 33
May: 36
June
6/1
6/2 (2)
6/3
6/4
6/5
6/6 (2)
6/7
6/8
6/9
6/10
6/11
6/13 (2)
6/14
6/15
6/16
6/18
6/19
6/20 (2)
6/21 (2)
6/22
6/23
6/24
6/25
6/26
6/27
6/28
Twice a day unless when she’s on her period.
A few times a month, usually around her ovulation time. I’m happy with it, the buildup and teasing makes the next batch of sex incredible. I’d rather that over something repetitive and part of a routine.
3x a week on average. Decent considering but still could use a bit more
Twice a year and not at all! Twice a day is what I want!
Been married for 26 years. Anywhere from 0-6 times a month. We both have busy schedules. Usually happens in the shower on a Sat or Sun morning
Both 40+; 1 or 2 times a week. I’m happy with it. Could be more or less and I’d be fine with that too.
When my wife and I first met wed have sex multiple times a day. When we had a kid we had sex 0 times a year until a couple years ago and now we have sex every day unless she’s on her period.
While my 10 year relationship has just fallen apart – we never struggled in the bedroom. It’s arguably why it lasted as long as it did!
Maybe twice a week on the lower end, every day on the higher end. It’s a fluctuating thing. I’m pretty satisfied with my sex life. I still whack it almost daily.
We probably have sex 10 to 15 times a week. Been dating for eight years. And yes, I’m very happy
Im 5years and almost every day
1 to 4 times a week with tons of teasing and foreplay in between. Absolutely.
Daily if not more, I’m very happy with it.
2-3x per week and it’s working just fine for me.
12 years and change.
25 years in, 3 kids still at home, my wife and i go between 2-5 times a week on average. depending mainly on her cycle/hormones. i know when her period is due, so i make an extra effort to be sweet the week before which is when she is irritated by everything (not just for sex, just for general happyness).
the key is to keep on discovering each other, never resent each other, and communication!!
1-3 times a week. My gf and I have a little mismatch in libido (hers is higher). There is plenty for me, she could go every night. But also, we work, have kids, tend house, commute, chores, family… Most weeknights we’re just exhausted and crash out at like 830. 😆
Does once every two months (if I’m lucky) count? This after 20 years. I’ll be the first to say I’m not the least bit happy about it but can’t divorce yet. I still love her but I need more than what she is willing to give. Not just sex but other things as well
0 times a week over the last few years. We have a toddler. I am not happy with that but I don’t have the energy to be unhappy with it. I’m pretty sure my virginity is growing back.
Married for just under 20 years now.
Normally 3-4 times a week, sometimes more (especially on vacations) sometimes only once or twice a week. Depends on what is going on, but never gone longer than 5 days without having sex.
15 years together. Once per week on average, working together to get up to 2x a week. Two young kids so we’re tired a lot and it’s sometimes hard for my wife to get in the right headspace.
Generally I’m happy with the situation. It’s a hard time of life for regular sex, but it will improve once the youngest is a little older.
Because of stress my libido is in the trash so once a month or twice (I’m a guy). I’m so stressed on a daily basis I don’t ever even think about sex right now.
Female. Married 18 years. Usually daily, but busy/tired weeks maybe 3-4x.
2-8 times a month or so. Pretty content.
Usually 4-5 times a week. Sometimes, very seldom it will be 3 times a week. 5 kids…
We have sex most days, sometimes 2-3x, sometimes zero. Probably averages out to around once a day. Nearly seven years married, both ~40, I’m satisfied by that frequency.
In the last five years it has dwindled significantly. A couple times a week, became once a week, then once every two weeks, etc etc. It is about once a month now. Am I happy? No. Do I understand… somewhat. Menopause and aging have taken a toll on her. I’m understanding, to a degree though. She just doesn’t need sex, and therefore it isn’t as much an issue to her.
Maybe 3-4 x s a year. Not happy about it.
It’ll be every day for a week or two, and then nothing for a few weeks. We have two kids and busy jobs, so were often more tired than horny. We’ve been married 8 years, and I’m mostly happy with our sex life, I just wish she initiated more often.
1-3 times a week on average. I’m happy, but I’d be more happy with once a day or two consistently.
Been married 32 years and we have sex 2-3 times a week, sometimes more if we’re on vacation or something. It definitely wasn’t like this the whole time, there were some lean years when we worked opposite shifts and were raising our kids but for the last 9-10 years, it’s been like this and it’s just awesome! The empty nest definitely has its advantages!
Currently once every 8-10 months, on a good year.
4 to 5 times a week. Married 34 years. Today was 4th time this week, probably get a night cap in tonight.
Once or twice a year. Fuck no. I want to die.
Hahahha
Never
Used to be about 5 times a week. Then we had a kid and now it’s about twice a week. Neither of us are happy with it but we’re trying
I married the horniest woman alive 5 years ago. At one point we were 5x a week minimum, unless she was on her period. Even then we could count on twice period week.
Life was pretty good but last month was a bad month.
I lost my job and the financial struggle was not kind to her anxiety.
We had a nice solid 3 hours without kids yesterday though so we had a nice afternoon.
4x a week and yes
34 years of marriage. Until very recently, 2-4 times per week. Now there are some added stressors (family issues) and it’s about 1 time per week.
Edit – first 20 years of marriage was almost every single day unless it was that time of month.
We have a rule, if either of us want sex we do it! We’re both very happy with this rule.
Wife of 21 years and we’re active 2-4 times a week. Very satisfied.
I’m 45 and married with 2 kids. Once a week. I wish we had sex 2-3 a week but it’s tough with life and kids. By the time the kids are in bed, sex is the last thing on our minds.
Used to be 5x a week at the start. Now its 2x a year. I dont really mind it, neither does my gf. I feel a lot of barriers have been added over time, kids, lack of sleep, age and gaining weight being the main ones. Theres more reasons but we talked about it and were both happy.
Once, maybe twice a month if I’m very lucky.
No I am not happy with that.
We’re at the point where it happens when it happens. I work full time, she’s a stay at home mom, we have a 15 month old who is two handfuls so sex isn’t really a top priority like it was earlier in our marriage when we had all the time in the world. When it’s been a while, she’ll take care of me if you know what I mean. And when we’re in the mood, it’s game on. But actual sex isn’t very often, and I don’t demand it from her. We’re good where we are.
Sex… is over rated … now making love with someone who you love can be almost every day
5 years together, imma be honest, as often as I want. Most times it’s like 4-5 times a week because we don’t have a lot of time, but when we do have a lot of time and we re well rested, it can be multiple times a day. Wishing you guys the same, cheers!
Currently recovering from the weekend that’s made my balls raisins. And the weekend isn’t over. 😀
With my last gf 2-3 times a day. We both have high sex drives.
At least once a week and daily on vacation.
It’s ok. I would like maybe twice a week and sometimes that’s what we have.
Like 3 times a month. I’m only 28 and we’ve been together for a year and 3 months I feel so unsexy and not wanted 🙁
Once a day or every other day if we are tired. 4 kids, all under 8.
Good damn look at all these healthy sexual relationships.
My wife’s libido ebbs and flows. We usually go about 3 weeks with nothing, then she’s jumping my bones twice a day for 4-8 days, then nothing for another monthish. I’ve gotten used to it, so I’m okay to wait, knowing what’s cumming soon.
Married 12 years, one kid.
11 years together and I think once in the last 6 months. Am I happy about it? No. Do I understand it’s a lowered libido due to antidepressants and am I okay with it? Absolutely. I’d rather have a happier and healthier partner at the cost of little to no sex
25 years together, zero for the last 15.
Usually 2-3 times a week. The last 2 weeks it’s been about 10 times. I’m not sure what’s gotten into me? I’ve been horny and she is very accommodating. We’ve been married for 10 years and together for almost 15. I’m lucky
I’m female (sorry!), but I have the higher libido by far in our relationship. 20 years and it’s like 2x/month. HATE IT. And now he got a travel job so he’s gone all the damn time and 2x/month is sometimes impossible. He’s so tired all the time 😭
Mark me down as unhappy. it has been several years since i had sex with my wife. I keep thinking that shjje will suddenly change her mind…..not going to happen
I’m out of one recently, but really it was whenever one of us wanted to. We were a terrible couple, but the sex was amazing. It’s why we lasted so long
My wife recently agreed to increase the amount of sex we have for both of our benefit. The goal is two to three times per week. We had sex four times this week. It was great. Probably will again tonight.
As often as we can. And since we’re both on SSRIs, that’s not often
After 15 years, about once every 6-8 weeks. No kids, but mobile phone.
My mom wife and I have been together for over 10 years and we still have sex a minimum of once/day. I wake up before her, make her coffee and take care of our pets breakfast then I climb back in bed with her for our “morning ritual”. 😍🥰 I am absolutely spoiled and I love it!!!
I guess the closest I have to a relationship is my ex-wife Arizona. She is my best friend. Stays over at my house sometimes. We take trips together. I would say once a week for sure with maybe one more in a week and there.
I have a couple of other women in rotation but I don’t consider them relationships.
Actual PIV about three times per week. Other stuff that leads to orgasms.for one or both of us about half a dozen times per week. I am very content with that.
Sex or the lack there of frustrates me so i choose not to discuss it at all.
Been married more than ten years, we usually get to business 2-3 times a day.
Today is our 23rd anniversary. 2-3x a week.
Once a week, sometimes twice. 8 y marries with a 3yo daughter. My wife is a once a week type of a person, so I don’t push it for more because she really delivers when I keep it like this, more than that and I start feeling she is doing because I asked for only, and there is no way I want to loose my favorite time of the week when she is really there for me. If we are on holidays or vacation we can do it everyday, special dates like birthdays, wedding anniversaries we can do it a few times a day as well.
23yrs of marriage 1-2 times a week.
47M and 46F, Married 18 years, two teenage kids and we’re about once a week for the most part. There’s times when life allows more or less, but we’re very comfortable with our sex life.
After 45 years together with my with I’m happy with the 3 or 4 times a week.
Married 50 years and have GREAT. Sex 3-4 times a week. No kids is great
58yo, wife 51, 15yrs together, blended fam of 3 kids now in 20’s. 5x/2wks. Sometimes more sometime less. But we’re connected and loving towards each other everyday.
I’m 74M. Wife is 71F. We make love about once every week and we’re both happy with that. We’ve been married around 20 years and have similar libidos.
It’s more difficult with a baby, but we tend to get after it about 2-3 times a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Before the kid, it was almost daily. Unfortunately, the kid made us want each other more, but it’s harder to find the time.
Im happy either way. There’s way more to our relationship and marriage than sex now. Sometimes, after a busy day, just having the moment to talk over a game of chess, actually eating dinner at the same time, and going to bed together is enough.
Once a month maybe, and no, verbally certainly not happy. Married 23 years, together 27
I’ve been waiting for her to initiate, and she states it’s because of the typical needs
The thing is, men typically need sex to keep connected, whereas women typically need to be connected to have sex. So, it’s a catch 22.
For me, sex is tied 100% to an emotional attachment. I was married for more than 25 years and in the middle of my marriage i was so overwhelmed with taking care of everyone else: husband, children, house, parents, grandparents, colleagues, etc. that i was completely drained. My husband and I discussed having the quality time we needed together to keep our emotional connection but it was difficult to find the time. So, it was difficult for me to find the energy and desire for intimacy.
Now, I make a little time for me. For many females of my generation (59) this is a difficult thing to do. This and the fact that my naturopath treated me for severe hormonal and cortisol imbalance has made a significant and beautiful change in my sexual life.
My sex life now is incredible (at least daily and sometimes multiple times a day).
I am sharing this because the solution to limited sex may be as simple as giving your partner some self care, emotional connection and hormonal balance. If this doesn’t work, I highly suggest couples therapy.
Wishing you all the best 🫶🌸😃
45 years together, 2-3 times a week……my wife is a work of art.
the secret to long term sex? It’s between the ears