You are led to a room containing a dozen puppies (Canis lupus familiaris). Every time you kick a puppy, $100,000 will be transferred to the Make-a-Wish Foundation from the bank account of a person (natural or legal, so including legal entities) of your choice. You can swap in new puppies at any time, and you can leave the room and come back at any point; any puppy you kick for the rest of your life will have the same effect. It has to be a proper kick – the puppy must travel at least fifteen feet (in any direction, including upwards) from the force of the kick. The puppy must be alive when you kick it. You can select any footwear you currently own, or go barefoot. You may furnish the room, such as with carpets or padding if you wish, but that’s coming out of your own pocket and you will not be reimbursed. Food and water will be provided, as well as a room with a bed if you choose to stay overnight, and your employer or school will give you PTO/deadline clemency while you stay. You cannot do anything other than kick puppies, eat, drink, take bathroom breaks, and rest for the duration of your stay.
The $100,000 figure adjusts for inflation every January 1st.
The story will be broadcast during your first day on the local news during a slow hour, and whether it gets further coverage is luck of the draw. You are permitted to record footage or livestream, and any earnings you make from that will be yours, less applicable taxes. Neither your chosen person, nor agents thereof, may compensate you in any way. Make-a-Wish will, by default, list you as a sponsor in accordance to how many puppies you kick, but you can opt out.
If you fully exhaust the chosen person’s bank accounts, their holdings of physical cash and cash equivalents will be seized, and then their assets will be auctioned off. If you exhaust his or her assets, you can either select a new person or you can choose to drive them into debt at whatever interest rate they can secure. The person cannot physically harm you, nor agents thereof, but if a puppy you kick in the future has an owner, you gotta deal with that on your own. Compensation at the Make-a-Wish foundation is frozen for a period of 30 years, aside from cost of living raises tied to inflation, and neither you nor any of your first-order relatives (spouses, parents, children) may be employed by the Foundation or any of its subsidiaries for 20 years.
How many puppies are you kicking and who are you choosing?
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Copy of the original post in case of edits: You are led to a room containing a dozen puppies (Canis lupus familiaris). Every time you kick a puppy, $100,000 will be transferred to the Make-a-Wish Foundation from the bank account of a person (natural or legal, so including legal entities) of your choice. You can swap in new puppies at any time, and you can leave the room and come back at any point; any puppy you kick for the rest of your life will have the same effect. It has to be a proper kick – the puppy must travel at least fifteen feet (in any direction, including upwards) from the force of the kick. The puppy must be alive when you kick it. You can select any footwear you currently own, or go barefoot. You may furnish the room, such as with carpets or padding if you wish, but that’s coming out of your own pocket and you will not be reimbursed. Food and water will be provided, as well as a room with a bed if you choose to stay overnight, and your employer or school will give you PTO/deadline clemency while you stay. You cannot do anything other than kick puppies, eat, drink, take bathroom breaks, and rest for the duration of your stay.
The $100,000 figure adjusts for inflation every January 1st.
The story will be broadcast during your first day on the local news during a slow hour, and whether it gets further coverage is luck of the draw. You are permitted to record footage or livestream, and any earnings you make from that will be yours, less applicable taxes. Neither your chosen person, nor agents thereof, may compensate you in any way. Make-a-Wish will, by default, list you as a sponsor in accordance to how many puppies you kick, but you can opt out.
If you fully exhaust the chosen person’s bank accounts, their holdings of physical cash and cash equivalents will be seized, and then their assets will be auctioned off. If you exhaust his or her assets, you can either select a new person or you can choose to drive them into debt at whatever interest rate they can secure. The person cannot physically harm you, nor agents thereof, but if a puppy you kick in the future has an owner, you gotta deal with that on your own. Compensation at the Make-a-Wish foundation is frozen for a period of 30 years, aside from cost of living raises tied to inflation, and neither you nor any of your first-order relatives (spouses, parents, children) may be employed by the Foundation or any of its subsidiaries for 20 years.
How many puppies are you kicking and who are you choosing?
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15 feet is really far, man.
I’m not sure I even could kick a puppy that far.
Eeeeeasy. I already do it for free.
If your progress needs a victim, it’s not progress.