What’s your experience with romantic regret?

r/

I’ve noticed an epidemic of male romantic regret… whether it’s stories on the internet or people I speak with, many men walk away from the love of the woman (or other love interest) they ultimately desire and then spend the following years of their lives haunted by their decision. So many “missing their ex” yet live a romantic partnership with someone else. Not only this, but never getting the bravery to risk going after what they truly want. Why suffer in this way if you have the free will not to? What’s your story?

Comments

  1. previouslyontheflash Avatar

    From my experience as you asked, I usually Self Sabotage due to fear of the commitments involved even though id love to be but my mind runs with thoughts ‘itll mess your routine’
    I tend to always regret the sabotaging I do as I’d love a relationship!
    I try to just focus on the fact im young and dont need to rush into anything but cant be that way forever as I’ll always be alone.

  2. mikess314 Avatar

    I genuinely have not seen this, certainly not to an extent that I would call epidemic. Far more likely that men end up staying in relationship relationships they should have left out of convenience and fear of being alone.

  3. Superfumi3 Avatar

    I have some, but if you love, that’s life

  4. stealingyourintent Avatar

    It can suck, and it did for me at the time. Being honest with myself about where I made mistakes and owning my fuck ups enabled me to learn and grow into a better partner though.

    I think if anybody out there reading this is going through losing a relationship due to a fuck up on their part, then rest assured that if you care enough to regret your actions, you will learn from them and hopefully avoid repeating similar mistakes or behaviour in future.

    This makes you into a person that understands that making mistakes is a crucial component of how we learn. Then once you meet that new somebody, you’re a more mature and more self aware version of yourself for them, which will lead to a stronger romantic bond and greater confidence in yourself.

  5. SingerEquivalent2899 Avatar

    Because we often learn lessons after the fact. My best friend to this day is the first one that got away. Smart, funny, made me laugh, did things in bed that make corn seem boring but we also had struggles, we needed to grow in ways that didn’t happen til much later in life. Neither of us see the other that way anymore. We both married different people, she had a couple great kids and I wouldn’t change a thing at this point….. But if I could relieve a day 20 years ago and show a little more compassion, a little less ego…. I’ll always wonder what could have been

  6. Alone_Psychology_464 Avatar

    I have no experience with that. I’ve never been in a relationship or in love.

  7. Sympraxis Avatar

    A particular romance is an opportunity that only knocks once. If a man does not answer, then it is gone forever.

  8. RipAgile1088 Avatar

    Looking back I dont regret it, especially since over the years she turned into someone I wouldn’t want to date. But here’s the story. 

    When I was 19/20 I worked at a fast food joint. Probably the funnest job I’ve ever had. It was really never busy and a bunch of the coworkers were around the same age. Well there was this one girl there that would obviously flirt with me. But due to me scared of taking her advances the wrong way I never pursue it.  I had a crush on her too both physically and personality. 

    Well she ended up quitting and getting into a relationship.  I was pissed off at myself for a while due to blowing it.

    Im 29 now and glad I didnt now. 

  9. TonderTales Avatar

    When I find myself regretful I ended things with an ex, I remind myself why I ended it. The regret is usually coming from the horny part of my brain, not the logical part.

    There are people I wish I had pursued more intentionally though. These are usually people who I saw for a fairly short period of time, but things fizzled out because I got too busy with work and I didn’t make them a priority.

  10. TheBooneyBunes Avatar

    There’s a few girls I’ve known that I swear could’ve been great were it not for one or two things and it’s a bitter pill, I still think about them. I’m single now so it’s not as objectionable