We’re still figuring out who we are, but we throw ourselves into serious relationships and then wonder why everything falls apart. It’s not always immaturity, it’s just too soon. You can love someone and still not be ready.
We’re still figuring out who we are, but we throw ourselves into serious relationships and then wonder why everything falls apart. It’s not always immaturity, it’s just too soon. You can love someone and still not be ready.
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No but those failures are how you learn to make them work later. It’s crucial to have the experience
That’s the entire purpose of being young. You make mistakes and learn from them. So when you are a grown adult you can have a healthy relationship.
No shit, you don’t say… At 18 you are still very much a kid in many ways even if you are legally an adult.
This is only unpopular amongst 18 year olds or younger. An extremely, extremely high percentage of people do not have faith in “serious” relationships featuring teenagers. Teenagers aren’t meant to be mature about these sorts of things.
That isn’t a criticism of teenagers, that’s just how it is with real relationships. One of the main factors of that is being able to deal with real world adult problems using experience. Teenagers don’t have that experience
Ready to go blow up some kids overseas though /s
I’ve seen an uncomfortable around of people say that “18 year olds are children”. Society is fucked, especially considering the issue of aging populations. Another day of thanking God for not raising me in the West.
As someone who wasn’t allowed to talk to girls or date and wasn’t told anything about it, I ended up not even wanting to date until my mid 20s because I believed I was too young to be in such a serious relationship.
Well, I found thar when I was finally dating, I had no idea what I was doing. I even found someone special last year and ended up blowing it, and I had to learn a lot of simple lessons from that experience that I wish I had learned a decade ago.
If I ever have kids I’m going to encourage them to have a boyfriend or girlfriend in high school in order to learn from the experience and ready themselves for when they’re older and fall in love so they don’t have to make all their mistakes with that person and possibly ruin the relationship due to immaturity.
I still get sad when I think about all the growth and development I missed out on.
It’s kind of like drinking. In countries where the legal limit is 16, people learn to control themselves while drinking from a young age. By the time they’re in college they drink moderately and maturely. In America, we’re not allowed to drink until 21, and that’s the age everyone acts like a fool. So i think relationships are similar where if you start it younger you’ll be better at it earlier and will make less mistakes and be happier when they are older.
That being said, there is a balance to be found, and throwing your life away at a young age for a high school sweetheart type relationship isn’t usually a smart move.
True, but people learn through experience. A failed relationship that makes someone better equipped for their next relationship isn’t a complete waste.
Please don’t ever become a parent.
The degree to which Zoomers want to infantilize themselves is truly wild.
Yeah, some eighteen-year-olds are extremely immature. So are some thirty-year-olds. If you’re eighteen and you’re scared of relationships and sex and intimacy. Fine! Stay single and I mean that sincerely and not in a sneering sort of way. But you just have to only speak for yourself in that regard.
Plus, you’ll screw up plenty of relationships, romantic and otherwise, before you finally start to get it right. That’s fine. It’s part of life. You’re not even supposed to be some wise philosopher teenager who’s already figured everything out.
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counterpoint; they are absolutely ready and the ending of various relationships when you’re young does not equal failure. if you had a relationship, had fun, cared about each other and made each other’s lives better, that is a successful relationship whether the couple gets married for life or breaks up in 6 months, and that applies especially to young people who are still figuring things out. we’re not in the 1950’s anymore, its ok to have relationships that dont end in marriage.
one of the main reasons 18 year olds might not seem “ready” for a relationship is due to lack of life experience. you dont just magically become some kind of super well adjusted person or wise sage in your late 20s via some kind of biological process – you grow as a person through life experiences that include failure. if an 18yo just says “oh im to young i wont be ready for a relationship till im 25”, many of the same “problems” that might arise in an 18yo’s relationship will now arise in this 25yo’s relationship, because the primary factor here is life experience, and if you never go out and get that life experience it doesnt really matter how old you are.
It’s about the right age to get married, I’d say.
But you’re ready to do internet prostitution ?
it’s always the people with only fans in their bios
r/noshitsherlock
Who is saying this?
Yeah and you get ready by screwing up… And down… And sideways… And on the couch… And eventually at the park cause she says she wants to and you don’t know what’s happening and you spend a night in jail getting picked up by your parents who don’t say a word till the next week.
saying this but still leveraging your age to appeal to internet predators is crazyyyy
This would be a controversial opinion millenia ago. It’s common sense now.
I don’t think romantic relationship skills and life skills necessarily walks together, at least not all the times. It’s true that at 18 years old you aren’t actually ready for a real relationship, but that’s mainly because what we say in the public sphere is totally different from what we do in our private sphere, that includes relationship.
You can learn the real world of a romantic relationship only being inside of it, because otherwise your vision will be based on basically what other people say, and that’s not what really happens in a couple. There are things that are much better than people describe, but mostly there are really bad things that people rarely talks openly about and even in that case it’s always a description from their side, so always a partial reality.
For example, before actually being inside a relationship I thought that cheating (or being cheated) was impossible. That it was one of the bitter tales told by a handful of losers, something that I could never do or happen to me. The first time you cheat and the first time you accept as a fact (different from knowing about it), I think you really understand that “trust” is not something you can give for basically free. The sooner this happens the better. Realistically at 18 years old most of the relationships will end before any major choice like marriage. Imagine discovering that a romantic partner isn’t the angel descending from the sky just for you at an older age, when the chances that you will build a family are higher.
In general, I think romantic relationships are an extremely serious commitment and always sooner or later require a proof of that. Because there are always difficult moments and love is different from what you imagine. It isn’t always obvious and sometimes requires a careful balancement of your feelings. This is something that in my opinion you can really understand or try to only failing, only having previous relationships.
you’ll never be ready. You have to live it. The older you are the higher the stakes tend to be as well.
18 year olds doing internet porn on reddit really shouldn’t be making judgments about what 18 year olds are ready for.
I’m going to be that teenager who doesn’t entirely agree, so apologies beforehand.
The main reason I have to disagree is because I am in a healthy and somewhat long term relationship. As a teenager. It doesn’t feel like we’re two teenagers just messing around for the opportunity to be all lovey dovey. We’re in the type of relationship because we like each other and we support each other, and while we know we aren’t perfect people, we feel as though we fit together well. Our traits compliment each other and make us better together. But enough of that.
Relationships in teenage years ARE difficult for a lot of people I’m sure. Hormones, stress, changing time. There are a lot of reasons for a relationship to fall apart. But one thing to consider is that relationships have the chance to grow stronger as you see what you’re made of, and how you can deal with a relationship in a troubling time. Whether you neglect it when you’re stressed, or you lean on the other person instead. When you avoid your partner because you’re PMS, or you tell them and they let you be you. Whether you fight about drama and all the stupid stuff that happens in high school, or you make it through together.
You are figuring out who you are, but having another person by your side makes it a lot easier. And relationships grow stronger when you make it out the other end of something hard. Maybe that’s learning you have something like depression, and seeking treatment. Maybe that’s dealing with poor family life. Trying to get into a college. Anything like that. Having a partner who’s on your side makes it a lot easier, in addition to all the other positive benefits of being in a loving relationship.
ETA: The most important part is maturity levels. If both participants are mature, not awful people, and are good with each other, I think it’s definitely possible.
i don’t think anyone with half a brain is expecting an 18 year old to be in any serious relationship. except maybe other 18 year olds.
True ,the brain isn’t even fully developed yet.
So it is immaturity. A relationship just requires patience in yourself and your partner to work. If you see how people live and how they where raised you can make a pretty good guess if they are going to have a successful relationship or not.
(Not all successful relationships work out)
The brain doesn’t fully develop until around 25 or 26, so no, an 18 year old is not ready.
Unlike YO MOMMA!!!
That’s kind of the point…
You start not being ready and learn from experiencing relationships. No one is ever really ready at first, it all comes with time.
I told my gf of a few years that I didn’t think we were ready to get married. We were in our mid-20s. She was pretty angry about that. Eventually we broke up. I still think it was the right decision.
I stand by not getting married until 30. Your 20s is when you really actually get to know yourself and your boundaries.
Couldn’t agree more.
Most 18 years old have no clue how taxes work, understand how to budget, or how to cook. How are we surprised or assuming it’s unpopular that they have the EQ to handle a serious relationship with another human being?
I mean when you’re 18 it’s ‘serious’ not serious
A person grows up from experience, not from the years lived. You will never learn how to handle relationships, if you don’t try
Most 18 year olds can’t even pour orange juice in a glass without spilling it. The fuck makes them think they can keep a relationship stable?
Yes true. I mean some can some can’t, some learn some don’t. That’s just life. I sure as fuck wasn’t ready for the real thing till I was thirty. But my brother meet his wife when they were 15, and their relationship went through 2 years of studying in different countries. He was ready or rather they became ready together quite fast
Well…no, probably not. Thats why they need practice.
Not all relationships have to be headed towards a life partner. It is good to experiment in new social situations as a teen.
This is not an unpopular opinion
Nobody is ready for relationship, at any age. It’s not something you can prepare for with only theory. Infact, nothing in life can be prepared for without hands-on, on-field, real practical experience. Relationships are precisely what it takes to overcome the flaws that make one unfit for relationships.
Like, if you just raise the bar out of rookies’ reach, do you expect that people with 20 years experience are gonna grow on trees and seek you out?
This is not an unpopular opinion unless you just got dumped by your highschool sweet heart.
Op is karma farming on a Sunday . You’re a prostitute and this isn’t even an unpopular opinion.
This is an extremely popular opinion
How is this an unpopular opinion? The only people who think 18 years olds are ready for ANYTHING are 18 year olds.
So 18 year olds are ready to vote, they’re ready to enroll in the armed forces and die for their country, but they aren’t ready for “real relationships” ?? 😏
You gotta date to learn
Absolutely true that don’t expect your first relationship to be the one that lasts forever until you’re old. But think of that high school relationship as a stepping stone
Everyone must have an awkward first. And that first often greatly influences their outlook on all future relationships. Maybe also people they’re attracted to
I don’t know. I’m still with the guy I started dating at 18 and it’s been 15 years now. We’re married with two kids and three cats and are so happy together
You’re legally able to fight and die for your country, and vote.
The law says you’re the age of majority.
What the fuck else do you want? Stop infantilizing people! 50 years ago people had full families by the time they were 18.
Just because you’re a literal adult who still feels like a child doesn’t mean every else does.
Most cells in your mothers’ ovaries and father’s balls are extremely unfit to pay taxes, ponder the meaning of existence, and rise to the level of basic morality to help their peers but here we are. Apparently, getting hurt and screwing up was never a legitimate reason not to do anything. We just built our culture around it, and cope by yammering online to people who probably won’t even notice you if you passed by them in person.
You’re not getting to Carnegie Hall without practice
Yes, but there’s only one way to get better at relationships, and that’s by getting experience
I think getting a boyfriend and doing community college is infinitely healthier than what OP is doing rn
Not an unpopular opinion.
Only people in that age group think they are. Anyone over the age of 25-30 knows this.
I think you in particular are just not relationship material. I doubt much will change in that regard in the next few years considering the path you’re taking now with rejecting education and pursuing porn. From briefly scrolling through your posts, you seem like the type to avoid any kind of responsibility, pretending not to know how to do things just so others are forced to carry the burden instead, meanwhile you never learn or grow as a person. Even this post seems like shifting blame for why you aren’t relationship material but instead of reflecting on why you as a person aren’t mature enough for a relationship, you’re placing the blame on something out of your control.
You will soon age out of the barely legal thing you’re going for, but you won’t be anymore mature, just more traumatized.
Protip: They aren’t serious relationships. You just think so at the time.
I agree, except… what is a “real relationship” exactly? I think non serious relationships are real in many ways.
18 year olds think they’re actual adults, which will be eternally humorous.
Bad breakup?
No, but so what? Who cares?
18 year olds shouldn’t be doing OnlyFans
Just bc you don’t feel ready doesn’t mean you should force that onto everyone else your age
Yeah they aren’t, but they are physically, mentally, and legally ready for the consequences of real relationships.
There’s truth to that, but for the most part the way to get ready is by doing it anyway.
You don’t learn to swim without getting in the water.
I don’t even think this is an unpopular opinion 😂😂 maybe people are just saying you’re not read bc you’re young 😂😂
Mostly yes, but you need these first relationships to learn. You just don’t become magically ready for a relationship when you hit certain age.
If I didn’t learn from my relationship when I was 18 my next relationship would probably end similarly
You don’t learn how to become a good partner and also maintain healthy boundaries without experience.
I met my fiance when I was 12 or 13. We were acquaintances. We saw each other at certain events and that’s it. We didn’t get together until I was 22. And during that time, he had relationships, I had one long one. We both learned a lot from those relationships.
Experience allowed us to work. We both developed romantically and that experience allowed us to work. I think if we had no partners before it would’ve been the same as us getting together when we met. And it wouldn’t have worked. But our previous relationships, even if they were going to never work out, allowed us to grow and develop so now we can have a healthy, happy relationship that does work.
Honestly, I wouldn’t say that because if you don’t make stupid mistakes when you’re young, how will you ever know better as you get older?
Girl i agree but im not sure if 18 yos are ready to do SW either no offense
I would suggest that you speak for yourself.
As an 18 year old in a relationship, I may be biased. But some people are ready for things you may not be. Also, I’m so over people saying 18 year olds are “still children” because they use it in a way to essentially say they’re not old enough to make individual decisions.
Every relationship doesn’t need to be serious or end in marriage.
What is it with the influx of OF girls posting puritanical shits like this?
Tbh most 18 year olds don’t even want real relationships. Hook up culture is becoming increasingly more popular.
I think it’s wonderful awareness at any age when you can recognize what is and isn’t the right time to be in a relationship. You’re still often discovering a great deal about what your priorities are at 18 and I think just trying different stuff and making friends along the way is a possible route to explore.
No one will hold it against you if you decide to be in a relationship but just be intentional with it. Too often we jump into relationships without being honest about what we want and setting boundaries.
Honestly sweetie I think that opinion is only unpopular among the 18ish and under crowd. Anyone who was 18 3+ years ago would agree with you.
Hang in there. Learn from it. It gets better, I promise ❤️❤️
I think that’s exactly why there important they might not last but you learn a lot about yourself and others and you learn how to deal with relationships that fall apart and that’s a very important thing to learn when your young
Why does society treat young people like little incompetent kids then act shocked when they behave immaturely?
yeah they are. you cant gatekeep such things.
This isnt an unpopular opinion. Its a thing older people throw around whenever they see teenagers messing up and learning in relationships.
And anyone who didnt get to be in one when they were younger will tell you they wish they had tried sooner.
Most humans aren’t ready for real relationships.
We kind of suck as a species.
Most people aren’t ready for real, healthy relationships regardless of age
We aren’t taught how to do it, aren’t taught what it means, our only sources when are tv shows and other people biased stories and opinions
So the only way we really learn outside of those who specifically this field is trial by fire
Going into relationships and seeing the good and bad
But even with this, we might never truly learn
Because those are extremely emotional and sensitive topics, we tend to think about our experiences emotionally rather than rationally when it comes to it
Met my now wife when we were both around 8 or 9 years old, reconnected and started dating when we were 17, married at 26, still together at 29, now with a child of our own, if you know what you want at 18 in terms of a relationship, you can definitely make it happen.
So here you have it, my upvote.
Absolutely. I’m still not ready, even at 21.
Who’s to say what makes a relationship “real”? Children date and say they’re married, what is the line between a “real” relationship and a fake one?
That’s alright. Nothing wrong with that. Let them fool around and make mistakes. That’s how we learn to be better.
Truth: It depends on the person.
For example all my teen years I seek serious long term relationships, I always hated hookup culture.
Teens are definitely not children, at least not a share of them.
Yes I might be rare and I haven’t met much people like me but there teens mature enough for serious relationships who seek and I’m not even 18, I’m 17 I believed that for all my teen years.
And it’s not just me, it’s a historical fact. In the past there were people who met at 16 and died married at 80 and share of them (yes, not all, but they existed) were happily married and loving all their life.
Is it rare on teens and 18’s ? Absolutely. BUT is it impossible ? Hell no, that’s a completely unintelligent generalization.
For all the people who try to interiorize teen relationships and teens as a whole: STOP IT (please) ! The dehumanization and infantilization of teens has to stop.
This opinion is quite popular with everyone that is at least 20 – 22 years old and not a complete creep.
Most people will undergo a lot of personal growth during their first 3 – 4 years of adulthood as they start to venture out into the world and have to, hopefully, really deal with the consequences of their actions.
nobody actually starts with thw idea yeah this will be my real relationship, if it happens it happens
Yet they can make decisions about blocking puberty….
I don’t think this is a popular or unpopular opinion. I think it’s just an opinion. Nuance exists and everyone is different but the days of marrying your High School sweetheart as the norm are long gone.