A while ago, a friend of mine asked me to bring something over from literally the other side of the world to the city where we both studied. We set a price, I paid upfront, and brought the whole thing with me — even though I don’t even have a place to stay right now and have been couch-hopping, so I really needed to pack light.
When I arrived, I messaged her across all platforms to drop it off. She didn’t reply. For three weeks.
During that time, she was posting nonstop on Instagram — stories, reels, shopping, trips, hauls. She even viewed my stories while ignoring all my DMs.
When she finally responded, she just said sorry her dad hadn’t sent her money yet. I wasn’t thrilled, but I still said ‘ok nws just let me know when you can pay.’
Then… radio silence. For another full month.
I followed up again. Still nothing. So I finally sent a longer message explaining that it wasn’t even about the money anymore — I just felt disrespected. Like, this whole thing could’ve been solved if she just replied once earlier.
She eventually replied, super defensive. Here’s what she said:
1. “I don’t check my messages that often”
→ …but posts 6+ Instagram stories a day and watches mine?? It takes 10 seconds to say “Hey I’ll be late with the payment sorry.”
2. “Social media is my job, and it doesn’t reflect my availability”
→ She doesn’t make any visible income from it, still lives off her very wealthy parents, has no brand deals or collabs, and never held a proper job. meanwhile i work for the real company and also study full time and I still find time to reply when it matters. Also — let’s be real — Instagram stories aren’t “scheduled”.
3. “you put me in a rough spot”
→ I only brought this because she asked me to. I messaged her seven times over three weeks to work something out. She never replied. That’s not me putting her in a rough spot — that’s her avoiding basic communication.
I’ve never had to send a message like this to a friend before. But this crossed a line.
She’s still ghosting me and posting lifestyle content like nothing happened. i know i have to cut her off at this point, and i do not want to keep her as a friend. but at the same time, she was one of my best friend before she started all this ‘influencer’ thing. (most of her friends have also cut her off now though lol)
Any advice would honestly help.
Comments
I don’t know if you are getting your money back.
So ignore her excuses. Don’t worry about how often you message or make it about your feelings or her communication.
She owes you X amount and you want X amount and you want it now.
Any chance you can sell it to recoup the money?
And next time-with anyone else, get at least half payment up front.
Post about it publicly on her socials, you’ll see the money real quick after that
Tell her parents.
Ask them to reimburse you before you go to small claims court.
They may make her be the adult and pay. Or pay for her directly. You can even suggest that she’s implied they’d be paying for the item.
Backup any chats or texts you have so she can’t delete later any agreements.
It’s reallllly UNACCEPTABLE how someone can ghost you for months and still act like they’re the victim, you deserve that money back and to be treated with basic respect, period.