I’ve dated men who rarely voiced what they needed emotionally. I’d ask how they were doing, and it was always “I’m good.” But I could tell sometimes… they weren’t.
So to all the guys here:
What gestures or words actually make you feel appreciated?
What do you wish your partner did more often (or stopped doing)?
Trying to listen better, not guess.
Comments
Surprising me with anything, I don’t usually get a lot of gifts in relationships (not counting birthday and Christmas and stuff where a gift is to be expected kinda) and any time I’d get anything it made my week.
A bottle of wine I never tried, a random massage, a pack of m&m, stuff like that makes me realize that you think about me even if we’re not together and it means a lot I think.
Literally just any compliments.
Grab my hand, look up at me with loving eyes, tell me you love me! Not high maintenance!
Telling me I’m doing a good job. That’s it. Just “Hey, I appreciate how hard you work” or “Thanks for always showing up.” You’d be amazed how far that goes when you never heard it growing up.
Words of affirmation don’t usually do that much for me if it’s praise for the sake of praising. However recognition? “I see you working hard”, “This matters to you so babe, this matters to me” trumps “You’re great”, “I love you”, “You’re so hot” any day.
Communication and sharing perspective with the intent of helping or putting my mind at ease is key in my own experience, more so than validation.