I’m a 31F. Back in senior year of high school, I had a big crush on a guy (31M). We hung out a few times either alone or in a group. Eventually I was told that he didn’t like me back, so I respected it and let it go.
About a year after graduation, he messaged me saying he liked me — but his message was really silly and unexpected. At the time, I was getting bothered by some guys, so I assumed he was trolling me.
Recently, I came across his profile and just felt like saying hi. I sent polite, friendly messages — I even startrd the message by saying how Im aware of how random this is..
My overall DM wasn’t flirty or suggestive. His profile says he’s single, but I made sure to keep it respectful and casual just in case.
I ended the message by saying I truly hope life has been good to him after all these years and I hope he been well.
This is where it gets weird I can admit..
Shortly after I also sent the same message on IG, just in case he doesn’t check his Facebook messages(I’ve heard that’s common now). I barely use social media and wasn’t sure what the etiquette is these days.
It’s been two days and I haven’t heard back, and I’m genuinely okay with that — no hard feelings. But it did get me thinking more broadly: how are messages like that typically received? Friendly? Random? Off-putting?
I’m not trying to figure him out — I just want to understand how this kind of message might land in general. Would really appreciate some honest insight.
Comments
I don’t mind it, as long as they weren’t someone I hated in school.
You’re over thinking it. It’s no big deal. Reaching out to people after a long time is cool. There’s no downside. Best case scenario they’re excited you reached out and interested in catching up. Worst case is they’re not and you’re where you started.
To answer your question, I generally receive someone reaching out after a long time to catch up well. Maybe it’s just a quick couple “how have you been” messages, maybe it leads to us meeting up. Either way it’s cool to hear from people from your past in general. If it’s someone I didn’t want to talk to for whatever reason, I just wouldn’t respond. But you two don’t have bad blood or anything.
There’s a million reasons he may not have replied yet. I wouldn’t worry about it. But I’d also stop holding my breath and thinking about it. Just move on. If he ends up responding, great! If not, no big deal. You won’t even notice because you stopped thinking about it and moved on to other things lol
I don’t see any cons, I’d be glad to get that message in any case (even if I’m happily married or have a gf), I’d just reply in a friendly manner. I don’t check both IG or FB, so he may find it in quite some time, just wait.
I’d not continue sending messages on different platforms though, it would be a bit weird to get messages from everywhere.
I wouldn’t think anything of it.
Just down let yourself get disappointed.
Don’t script in your head how you think it will go
Unless you’re the bitch who told me that I was fucking ugly for bo reason I’d be stoked if anyone from HS would hit me up tbh, either just to chat or more.
Personally I wouldn’t be interested in rekindling any kind of relationship from high school, especially not one that petered out after being rebuffed
I say hi and talk about how things are going.
I wouldn’t find it off-putting, but I wouldn’t be interested in replying, either. I mean, if I messaged my high school crush that I liked them, but she assumed I was trolling, I’d definitely question why they’d message me again later on. I wouldn’t want to dwell on those feelings any longer or risk getting played on, even if her intentions are friendly.
He/she wants to sell me something.
If we weren’t that close, my first thought is WTF MLM scheme you trying to sell me on? 😂