So I (23F) recently started seeing a new therapist and we’ve been doing this exercise where I text her how I’m feeling in the moment, unfiltered, instead of bottling it up. I save her number as “Dr. C” in my phone.
My boyfriend’s name? Christian.
Take a wild guess what happened next.
I had just gotten out of a rough meeting at work, was PMS-ing, and had a complete breakdown in the parking lot. I sent a long, ugly message that said:
“I feel like nobody really likes me, they just tolerate me. Even Christian. I love him but sometimes I think he’s still with me because it’s easier than breaking up. I feel broken and small and exhausting to love.”
I hit send. Realized two seconds later: wrong Christian.
Yeah, I texted my boyfriend that I think he’s only with me out of convenience.
He called. I ignored it. He showed up at my apartment an hour later and just said, “We need to talk.”
I cried. He cried. He said it hurt, but he was glad I told him the truth.
We’re okay now. But holy shit, that was the worst 45 minutes of my life.
TL;DR: Texted my boyfriend a depressing, vulnerable message meant for my therapist. Accidentally trauma-dumped on him. Almost lost him in the process.
Comments
Sounds good that he was worried about you and that you both spoke about it. He hasn’t run away and is still there for you. This could make your relationship much deeper and stronger. He might surprise you!
Being a human being is sometimes an emotional rollercoaster. Hollywood sells us their primly packaged white picket fences happily ever after lives that very few of us will ever attain. Some days you will feel super connected and queen of your domain. Others will feel dull disconnected and dredging from the bottom of a dark and lonely pool. The truth is usually somewhere in the middle. Enjoy the highs, persevere through the lows. Learn to laugh at the world and yourself.
Sometimes, it is only that we are worried to speak our hearts out and that fixes everything.
I just want to point out you end this post saying you almost lost him, but your text starting this says you feel unlovable. I don’t know what was said, but based on the few details provided I don’t think you almost lost him. That’s just your brain worms talking. He wouldn’t have been hurt that you didn’t think he loved you if he didn’t love you.
Also, task failed successfully? Talking with your SO about your emotions is important, even the uncomfortable ones. Especially the uncomfortable ones. This definitely would have come up eventually, just when you were both emotionally ready. Sending a text kinda rushes things, but really seems to have all worked out. Speedrun strats.
Well your terapist would likely tell you to do the same thing to your boyfriend anyways, and you most likely wouldnt
And now you’ll be in a better place than if you didnt make that “mistake”
I think it’s always good to be honest. Your bf reacted nicely.
Honestly, even though this is what I’m sure would have been a petrifying mistake in the moment, this has probably helped your relationship. The fact that he wanted to communicate with you afterwards, you both cried so you got your feelings out, he knows the truth and now will probably make more of an effort to show that he loved you. I wish both of you all the best
So you were accidentally emotionally vulnerable with your boyfriend and… he supported you? Where’s the fu?
I’m glad things worked out in the end, but don’t really see where you almost lost him instead he acted without hesitation, was there for you, knew he needed be there for you and talk to you. This doesn’t feel like a TIFU to be honest.
Just another highlight for the importance of communication in relationships
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It is quite literally not a fuck up. That honesty led to a lot of growth. Today you lucked out
The FU is thinking you shouldnt be sharing your feelings with him like this on a regular basis.
girl accidentally dropped a therapy nuke and still kept the man?? powerful af honestly
> He called. I ignored it. He showed up at my apartment an hour later and just said, “We need to talk.”
I know it was tough to face, but it would have been truly concerning if he didn’t want to talk about it. The mistake could strengthen your relationship.
I could never be a therapist. Glad this worked out for you!
THIS IS HOW GOOD RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN.
Stepping into vulnerability is TERRIFYING, but EXTREMELY necessary, that’s what you did, and now he sees you in a way he didn’t before, and he loves you.
Absolutely nothing bad happened here.
Matter of fact, if this HAD caused you to lose him, it would have been him being trash you didn’t want in your life. The behavior he showed you is EXACTLY what good partners are made of.
Congrats on the successful long-term relationship, OP.
I mean what you did by accident was the right thing to do. You talked to your boyfriend and told him how you were feeling. Which is literally what you should have done anyway.
Bottling that up and not talking about it is the wrong thing to do and what would likely have caused you to “loose him” more than telling him.
tbh, skip the therapist and just talk to your boyfriend. Sounds like he is a good listener and cares about you.
OP has to be a bot. 13 day old account with no posts, no comments, no activity besides this (probably AI generated) story. What do you even gain from doing something like this
Trauma-dump? Is that a millennial term?