For context we live in the Midwest and MIL lives in the South. She has only ever came back to her home state in the Midwest one other time and stayed with us for a week..by the time she left I was soooo ready to be done.
We have two young children and I am a SAHM. She doesn’t clean up after herself, sleeps in until noon, is addicted to opiates and soda, comes in and out of the house to the garage to vape and take phone calls. Spilled dark soda on our white sheets and brand new guest bedroom mattress.. 🙃 At the end of her first stay she started vaping in the house and around the kids. When I tell you she lives a very different lifestyle, I mean it.
The last time she was at our house she was using my kitchen and making messes she didn’t even try to clean up. Just another person to clean up after honestly and I already do enough.
Anyways, I’m wondering if anyone has ever said no to their MIL staying with them again or if I should just suck it up for my hubby and deal with it again for another week? Am I bitch to not want her to come back?
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I don’t allow my in laws to stay at my house. They live 8 hours away and I make them get a hotel. My house is my safe space. I also am a SAHM. My hubby doesn’t want them staying in our house either so that’s a win. It did take about 13 years for him to get to that point though.
She can get a hotel or airbnb. And she can only come over when your husband can host and actively supervise.
Mine isn’t allowed to stay here but it took a looong time to get to that- and I should have pushed for it sooner. The last time we actually paid for her hotel because she decided after booking her flight (paid for by us) that it was “too expensive” and that she’d just stay with us after all. The only reason we had agreed to her visiting was because she offered up front to get a hotel and I realized this had been her plan all along. So we paid and while I didn’t like that we paid it was the best visit we have ever had with her because we still had peace in our own home. She hated the hotel and complained a ton about it but honestly she’d have complained about the house too so at least I still had some peace and time away.
She hated it so much she hasn’t asked to visit ever again!
I don’t allow my inlaws to stay with us. Its simple, you can control who stays in the home you pay for. If your husband doesn’t like it. He can take off work and take care of the kids while you leave
I’ve never even let my JNMIL see our place. We bought it almost 2 years ago. She has seen pictures, that’s it.
Someone addicted to opiates should not be allowed to stay in your home especially with your children. I would die on that hill.
We opted to say they couldn’t stay here once we had kids. We got rid of the “guest room” so there was no where for them to stay. Highly recommend. It’s been 7 years since they’ve stayed here and I’m not sad.
Yes all the time.
Do not allow someone with a substance addiction to stay in your home. I wouldn’t even want her visiting, to be honest. Especially not with young children around. You will never forgive yourself if your kids accidentally get into her stash.
Absolutely not!!–Tell hubby if he wants his mother to come then he has to take the time off work to take care of her because your responsibility is to your little family