My (28F) roommate (29F) is moving out after around 3 years. During this time I was the primary rent payer and would Venmo request her for her half. I also was paying the apartment insurance. This is going to make me sound really stupid, but for some reason I was under the impression that our WiFi and power, and washer/dryer payments were included in our rent because I wasn’t aware of any other bills.
My roommate fully moved out over the weekend and decided to inform me that she was paying those other bills this whole time and forgot to Venmo request me for all of it. FOR THREE YEARS!! I felt stupid and horrible and asked how much I owed her. She said that it was her fault that she never charged me and isn’t expecting the whole amount back, but would like a couple thousand.
How much should I pay her back? It’s asking kind of a lot and I wish she would’ve been charging me from the start so I don’t need to pay such a big amount at once. I was thinking maybe $1000-$1500? Is that not enough? Too much? Ahhh help!
Editing to add this because she’s not scamming me! She’s a good person, trust.
I trust my roommate and know she’s not pulling anything sketchy. I now have access to the payment accounts as I had to transfer those over to my name and payments and can see past statements. All in all, since bills vary by month, it’s looking like I would’ve been paying around an average of $115 a month, adding up to just over $4,000 for the past three years.
That’s a lot of money! And a lot of money to pay back all of a sudden. But I don’t want to leave her high and dry, and she’s not asking for the full amount back. I’m not sure how much to pay back
Comments
Backup of the post’s body: My (28F) roommate (29F) is moving out after around 3 years. During this time I was the primary rent payer and would Venmo request her for her half. I also was paying the apartment insurance. This is going to make me sound really stupid, but for some reason I was under the impression that our WiFi and power, and washer/dryer payments were included in our rent because I wasn’t aware of any other bills.
My roommate fully moved out over the weekend and decided to inform me that she was paying those other bills this whole time and forgot to Venmo request me for all of it. FOR THREE YEARS!! I felt stupid and horrible and asked how much I owed her. She said that it was her fault that she never charged me and isn’t expecting the whole amount back, but would like a couple thousand.
How much should I pay her back? It’s asking kind of a lot and I wish she would’ve been charging me from the start so I don’t need to pay such a big amount at once. I was thinking maybe $1000-$1500? Is that not enough? Too much? Ahhh help!
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I’d request bill summaries before any payment
I’d suggest seeing if you could do small payments back here and there and maybe have her give you proof of the totals. Just so no one gets screwed over. If you don’t want to do that because you didn’t know, then that would be a different story.
I would demand a bill for every month shes claiming
You need to pay her what you owe. You both screwed up here. She should not have waited until moving out to bring this up, but you should have known what bills you have to pay. She can’t demand it all at once. But you don’t get to skip out on paying your fair share when you should have known better. I suggest you set up an installment plan to pay it back.
Consider that WiFi usually cost around $50 a month in one year that’s $600 in three that’s $1800. If you include the electricity into that it could jump into a total of 5-6k and even more. Obviously If u guys can come to a deal for just 2k and get that notarized and signed id take that personally.
I wouldn’t pay her anything without seeing every bill.
And you didn’t mention to her in all this time that you wanted to pay your share
So she moved out without giving notice? did you all have a signed rental agreement or was it just a handshake deal? Did she contribute to the security deposit when she moved in?
She is asking you for $55 per month so the total bill was something more than $110. I pay around $200 per month for the same utilities, aside from making payments on a washer and dryer. But I live in a 3 bedroom house not an apartment. I would definitely want to know how much was going out each month before I paid these bills.
If you know that you owe certain bills, that should be up to you to pay them not for somebody else to remind you
The asking amount is way lower than reality, probably. I’d ask if it can be made in payments, as you can’t absorb it upfront.
Demand to see copies of all of the bills. She should be able to get them from wherever she was paying from. Also contact your landlord or apartment manager and confirm if those things were included or not because this is sketchy as fuck.
I highly doubt you are being charged for use of a washer dryer. If that was the case it would be coin operated
But also… this seems kind of unfair?? Whose responsibility was it to inform you of those charges? I’ve totally been in a version of this—where money stuff doesn’t get talked about, and suddenly there’s this giant imbalance and it’s weird and no one knows how to fix it without making it even more uncomfortable.
Honestly, this is why I hate when roommates don’t just split everything clearly month by month. Even if it’s not malicious, the emotional whiplash of someone saying “oh btw you owe me $2K” after years of silence is real. And some people can’t just absorb an unexpected $2k cost…
You’re not dumb. This is just one of those weird roommate dynamics where no one wanted to be awkward… and now it’s way more awkward.
I feel like all this could be avoided if the split amounts were just agreed on upfront, and auto-paid directly to the actual bill. No chasing, no guessing, no “who’s supposed to Venmo who?” vibes. Just: here’s what you owe, here’s where it’s going. End of story.
Anyway, you’re not alone in this. Money is such a gray area, people manage things so differently, and even great communicators struggle with money conversations!
Ask for receipts proving what was paid and confirm with the company what the service was and the cost. Do not commit to playing and do not say you owe anything. You don’t want to be taken to court
Get a copy of each bill for the last 2 months to see what it could have been the last 3 years. I doubt that the washer dryer matters. Whoever paid for it owns it, unless it you buy it off her. Good luck!
Get bill summaries this sounds sketchy as fuck and you don’t sound prepared to deal
With such things
Nah, let her take you to small claims court.
You pay her nothing!!!! She just wants money to her with her move.
It IS her fault for never telling you. I mean, like, why didn’t she ever mention it? Is she a super passive person?
First of all, verify that any/all of those things weren’t included in your rent. And how much they actually cost.
Im gonna get downvoted but fuuuuck that. dont pay. That makes ZERO sense. I rent a home where ALL utilities are included. It is not inconceivable that you would assume it was included. And who tf waits 3 fucking years??? Dont bother.
$1500 for 3 years is very cheap. She would probably be happy to accept it, though.
ETA. If you do pay her, just make sure you put in the notes paid in full, and if she accepts it because it is her fault, you’re covered.
She’s trying to hoodwink you. I call bullshit on her “forgetting” to bill you. I think she’s just trying to make a quick buck off of your naivety
I’m dying to hear how she is scamming you!!
UpdateMe!
Don’t pay without copies of the bills. Why didn’t you ever ask about the utilities and wifi? Was it mentioned in your lease is that why you thought it was included in the rent? You both dropped the ball here
I wouldn’t pay her anything. She forgot? Too bad. She cannot back charge you for 3 years. Absolutely ridiculous. Even if she can prove down to the penny what your half would have been, that ship sailed 90 days after you moved on.
You need to talk to your landlord and get the lay of the land from them before you offer a dime to her.
Nope. Nope. Nope. You snooze, you lose. Tell her without proof of the amounts and of her payments thereafter you will pay nothing. End of discussion. Once she provides that info, then you’ll discuss it.
Absolutely not. Request all itemized bills and then break them down. Do not give them a cent. If you can, contact the landlord to verify this.
I’d calculate a flat $150/ month (12x150x3) which is $5400. Your part would be $2700. Since she hasn’t been charging you?
Offer her a flat $2k, pay $1k now and they next $1k 12/15/2025.
I’d ask for receipts and proof so you can add it up yourself
IMO receiving the Venmo requests from you for her half of the rent should’ve been her monthly cue to then send you a request for your half of the utilities.
It’s extremely strange that she never once in three years thought to recoup that payment from you, especially since this is coming up all of a sudden right before she moves out. I kind of think she’s lying about it, and I think she might be pretending she’s giving you a fair number so you won’t look into the actual monthly statements and investigate (“it’s prob like 3k that you owe me but don’t worry, I’ll settle for 1k and we’ll call it even”).
Is there any chance you guys made an agreement three years ago that you’ve since forgotten about and she’s twisting it? Like, maybe because you pay for insurance, she agreed to cover the utilities?
Your roommate seems reasonable, and it sounds like you both have good intentions.
Offering $1,500, either upfront or in payments, would be a solid, fair middle ground.
How stupid can she be to forget to ask someone to pay for MORE than a year, multiple years? I can see forgetting once or twice randomly for a month’s worth if she was busy during exams or whatever, but years? That’s on her for not following through in a timely manner.
I call bullshit. No one “forgets” to charge for utilities, for 3 years. Maybe, maybe 6 months but that’s still sus.
Since you were the “primary” rent payer, what does that even mean? How much was the lease total, what was your agreement? Sorry, none of this sounds reasonable
don’t pay anything. She forgot and is now expecting you to give her money? it sounds to me like she needs more cash than she thought she did and is using the bill excuse to get some money from you. You need to see bills and receipts but frankly, you don’t owe her anything.
I think it’s reasonable to pay back for some limited period of time. Eg 6 months. Any of the bills from before that time are on her. It’s not unreasonable to think that your rent may have been an “all in” amount
Wifi and electric for 3 years has got to be like $5,000, minimum. Your half would be $2,500. I might offer her $2,000, but given the circumstances I think anything over $1,000 would be reasonable.
If you cant pay it all now pay what you can and then $100 or so per month.
Check your rent statements to make sure your electric/water isn’t already included in it. You may have been right: many corporate landlords use a third party billing service that automatically adds utilities into your rent payment every month. Sometimes wifi is also included in that service if you’re required to use a specific provider.
Go from there. If it turns out that you have been paying for it already in the rent…it’s time for a serious conversation. If not, get itemized bills from her to come to an agreed settlement.
Amazing numbers of leeches !
Should pay all of it at your leisure. Definitely all of it though.
If you owe it, pay it.
Based on your edit, I think that your initial suggestion was fine. Do what you can. She would like a couple thousand, but if that is too much for you to come up with right now, tell her that this is what I can do. If you really want to pay your full share, tell her she will have to accept payments when you have the money.
You should pay her back 100 percent, but space the 36 payments out over three years, the way they should have been paid originally, but with a three-year delay. No interest due since she neither told you about the bill nor asked for payment timely.
I’m sorry but that’s a bizarre excuse that you were the “primary renter payer” aka rent under your name and you didn’t know utilities weren’t included. How would she have been able to set them up in the first place? How was this not discussed before sharing a rental agreement?
It’s true that she also should have billed you earlier and discussed this instead of dropping a big bill, which needs to be itemized/with receipts, but you can’t play naive that bills were owed beyond rent.
No one “forgets” to ask for payment for three years!
Set up a payment plan. It would be unrealistic to have you pay a large amount that you didn’t budget or realize you would need to pay.
DONT GIVE HER ANY MONEY. ASK FOR RECEIPTS!!
If this is a real post…This deserves a conversation over coffee, together, in person. Tell her you need to do this in person. You need more info and so do we all lol. You need to understand why she “forgot,” for three years. Her folly is stronger here. She knew she needed to charge you for years and did not. You had no knowledge of bills and were earnestly doing your part. Let her know this feels off and ask why she forgot for years, to collect thousands, but is asking now? I’d suggest saying, for goodwill, I’ll pay $1,500, and that is what I’m willing to do here. But I can’t back pay you for services I did not know I agreed to. Then get it in writing that you’re settled. You may find out that she’s a good person but has a bit of a slippery side and that your guilt – is not warranted. Give us an update lol!
I would recommend offering her two options:
Hopefully, your former roommate has learned the valuable lesson that when someone owes you money, you must collect the debt promptly!
Work out what you should have paid. Pay her what you can now. Tell her when you will be able to pay the rest.
To be honest, you don’t owe her that money. She can’t suddenly ask you to pay for for 3 years worth of bills. It’s her own fault for not setting up a system for you to pay her.
You can’t just say to someone, oh I forgot to charge you for 3 years worth of groceries I paid for so you need to pay £4k now!
It was her responsibility to request payment from you, and she didn’t.
Also, she can’t expect you to just come up with 4k over night, not even £1k either. Its completely unreasonable. Although technically she would probably be able to take you to small claims if if its part of the lease.
Don’t tell her how much it adds up to, if she wants to figure it out she can go through the bill herself.
I would also keep all communication about this matter to text messages, so you have written proof of her saying you don’t have to pay it all back coz it was her fault etc. Screen shot any messages relating to this payment incase she tries to delete them later. You may need them as as evidence later.
To be honest the moneys basically gone now and spent from her perspective, but any money you give her will be like ‘free money’, that she can use to either save for emergencies or a holiday or to treat herself for other things. Its not part of her normal monthly wages, so whatever you give her is like a bonus amount.
However whatever you do agree to give her, you should work out a monthly payment where it’s split into manageable amounts you can afford without leaving you short and struggling.
So say you offered to pay her £1k, you could do 4 monthly payments of £250, or 5 payments of £200, or 6 payme to of £150 etc.
It’s not your fault she forgot to charge you, but it seems off she didn’t think once for 3 years!!
But get her to confirm in writing g she’s happy to settle the issue for £1k, or £1500 spread out over Xmas amount of months repayment. And that settles the matter. Because you don’t want her to agree to £1500 and then when you make the final payment, she turns around and says ‘well as you’ve been able to afford £150 a month for the last 6 months, you might as well keep paying me that till you pay me the £4k.
Coz that’s not really fair to spring it on you coz she’s quite happy suddenly getting a spare £150 a month to spend.
So get her to confirm in text that she agrees to settle the debt for £1k or £1500, with 6 monthly payments , and that will be the end of it. And screen shot them so she can’t delete them.
I’d be seriously possed if I were you though coz that’s really lousy on her part, completely her fault for not requesting your payment each month, and to suddenly now have to find an extra £150 or £200 a month can be impossible for some people living paycheck to paycheck etc, and you just have it to spare because you have to pay all your current bills.
But hopefully she continues being understanding and admitting it’s her fault and hopefully is willing to settle it for £1k, or £1500, coz to her that’s like free money now, as the bills were paid for 3 years ago so it’s not like she just made a big payment and didn’t get reimbursed, and its affecting her finances now, it’s been and gone. So hopefully she’s reasonable and settling for that amount.
If you trust her and value the friendship, and the “couple of thousand” is half what you estimate what you would have paid, I’d pay her the $2k. The difference between $1.5k and $2k is not so big that it’s worth losing a good friendship over. $1k is too low.
Pay what you can without putting yourself in financial straits now. Work out what you can afford to pay in installments to the end of the year, but get it done by the end of the year if at all possible.
Working off the assumption that what the roommate is saying is true. The idea that oops you didn’t realize the internet and electricity needed to be paid since mid 2022 is just flabbergasting.
This is precisely why I absolutely hate the “just Venmo request me” mindset. You’re a citizen of the house and should have a running understanding of what you need to pay for and roughly how much it costs. Do you expect everyone to wipe your ass while there managing your accounting and paying the bills?
Personally, I think less of people who will ask me to venmo request them when I pick up a check at dinner. Why is it suddenly on me to itemize the receipt? Why can’t you all roughly know what got and venmo me something close. I’m not concerned if you short me a buck or two, and you shouldn’t be concerned if you over pay slightly.
The statute of limitation has probably run on at least the first year. Maybe I’d pay your half of one year.
If she paid her fair share, I think you owe her the full amount. Pay what you can now and make payments to her.
Pay it back over 3 years. It’s unreasonable to expect it all at once
You should really ask yourself how good a friend this person is. As others have pointed out, she was clearly using Venmo on the regular to pay you…
You’ve a few options:
It’s highly possible that the outcome of all three results in this person being less a friend as that is the natural way of things.
Have there been any text, any emails, any contracts, or any verbal communication about these expenses prior to right now?
If the answer to all of those is “no.,” then you should strongly consider how good a friend this person truly is. And if the answer is “no” then you are also legally not responsible.
Also, many apartments DO bundle x, y, z utilities into the rent. You should review your lease and ask your land lord.
Did your roommate own her own business or work from home? There is a chance that she was using some of these expenses as a tax write-off or was being reimbursed from an employer for paying these expenses.
Receipts or it didn’t happen. The other option is she didn’t forget she just thinks you’re gullible enough to just send her the cash no questions asked. Ifyou do owe it, remind her that she didn’t fork it out all at once so there’s no reason you should have to as well. If you have to, tell her you’ll pay it off in monthly installments over the next 36 months.
Look, monthly internet is easily $60. Electricity also easily $60 a month on average, most likely more. Total of $120, with your portion of $60. Multiply that by 36 months and you get $2160. This doesn’t include washer / dryer payments. If she’s only asking for $2K, she’s doing you a favor. Just pay it.
I wouldn’t pay her back. Look, it sucks that she was apparently paying that bill and not asking you for your part. But you didn’t agree to pay a lump sum. She’s moved out so it’s on her, and if she wasn’t missing it during those months, she’s not gonna miss that $2k lump sum now. Tell her you can’t afford that, and if you want, you can do monthly payments. If not, say your budget isn’t set up for a debt you didn’t know you owed.
This is so weird. How do you just forget to charge someone for this? I wouldn’t be ok with paying 3 years worth even if I saw the bills.
It’s odd that she remembers as she’s moving out and probably needs money for her new place.
This is an odd situation. I wouldn’t be comfortable giving her the money especially since she didn’t need it for 3 years.
Also, no one forgets something like this for so long especially if the bill is in writing.
Sounds like you also “forgot” tou had a responsibility to pay her. Its not all on her. Get a printout of charges and pay your fair share. Don’t go on Judge Judy and be made to look the fool, thinking that all of a sudden, the utility fairy picked up your agreed to portion of the bills.
Agree to pay over time.
No, “forgot” to ask for it for 3 years sounds like a load of crap tbh
Talk to your landlord to verify that the bills in question were borne by the tenant when you were living there.
How do you forget to request payment for 3 years? She just took a loss every month and kept silent? It doesn’t make sense that it just became is an issue now. Something doesn’t add up (no pun intended).
Honestly, she shouldn’t be expecting any of it. If she made it 3 years without ever thinking to mention it to you, it doesn’t seem like she cared that much. It also sounds from your post that you’re the one that mentioned paying it back to her?
If she asked for money, explain that you wish she would’ve mentioned it sooner, that paying monthly wouldn’t have been a big deal, but it’s hard to pay all of that at once. Then ask her what she thinks is fair and work from there, but I wouldn’t pay any more than $1000.
To be clear, I don’t think you owe her any money. She accepted the burden of paying that when she didn’t bill you for it. My grandpa always used to say “Never lend money you can’t afford to give away,” and that goes double for secretly paying someone else’s bills. It just seems like you’re wanting to pay her back as a sign of good faith, and as such I wouldn’t pay more than a few month’s worth.
It doesn’t have to be awkward. Judging by her past actions, if you don’t bring it up again she probably never will either.
You would have been paying like 100 a month. She should let you pay her back 100 month for the next 2 years
Can you work out a payment plan with her to catch up?
Ask for bills and deduct insurance.
Get copies of bills. Pay what you owe. Be glad there is no interest charge.
Call me an asshole here…
But homegirl would not be getting a cent from me. Especially with way things are right now economically.
Everyone is struggling and theres no logical reason to pay 3 yrs of bills retroactively that have ALREADY been paid.
There’s no way she forgot to bring that up for three whole entire years.
When I had roomate situation everything was added up and split 3 ways evenly. So I can see why you’d think it was already included in the bills.
You’re honest. I like that. Pay her what you can now and ask her if you can make her payments every month until you’re paid off!
Offer to pay it off over three years
She “forgot” for 3 years? Every month that you venmoed her, she forgot that it was a lower amount than expected? And she’s JUST NOW, all of a sudden remembering?
I wonder if she’s fallen into addiction or something and needs quick cash. I wouldn’t pay a cent.
Seeing this after the edit. Sounds like everything is in good faith and she just totally overlooked it. If she’s only asking for a couple thousand back I’d pay it. Sounds like she’d also be willing to let you do it installments. You acknowledge you should have been paying. Do what you can to pay back what she’s asking for and preserve the friendship
I’ve had situations like this, albeit not to this extreme. I did pay it back, because this was a friend and someone I valued. Yes, it stings. But also this person had the burden of managing and paying and setting up all those services, and I had it easy.
Given the extremes of this, and that you say she’s a good person (which I assume means you want to keep her in your life?) and she’s open to partial payment, I’d ask how she feels about paying the last year, so $1380.
And maybe you buy her dinner once in a while.
Something doesn’t add uo, no one just all of a sudden requests half the money on something after 3 yrs.
I would try to get half of what she is asking for together ASAP, for good faith and work out something reasonable for the rest. She screwed up; that’s on her. You were also thoughtless; and that is on you. I think it’s fair you at least meet her halfway with some urgency.
Honestly 2k is a steal for two years worth of bills. I’d figure out how much you can afford to give her paying her back (remembering that you now have to make sure those bills get paid) and work out some kind of payment schedule with her.
Check your lease and see if they were included or not.
She should expect you to pay her back over the course of 3 years. This is on her for not letting you know she was paying those bills. Maybe you should have asked…but 3 years is a loooong time to have not mentioned this at all. One year, maybe, this is very odd.
Ask for the bills. But yes why would you think it’s free?
I would think many areas of the country electric can be $400-$500 in winter or summer and low as $50 in months you don’t use AC or heat. My electric completely cut off when I’m away is $39 minimum electric company charge.
Why in the world would washer/dryer payments have anything to do with rent???? Bizzaro. But whoever is keeping the appliances should pay for these not split.
You owe what you owe. She can get all the bills and show you. Ask for time to pay.
Nuh don’t pay
Or just tell her too bad, so sad – I dont recommend this option because it’s a dick move.
Make it right, it’s your integrity on the line. Agree to make payments until paid in full. This is the right thing to do.
If it was me and I genuinely trusted this woman isn’t trying to do anything shady, I would agree to pay her half back and keep the friendship because life is too short and shit happens
Honestly, you should give her a grand and tell her you will pay her back monthly for the rest. Put it in a text so you have proof if she agrees. Money and friends is weird. The fact she stuck this on you all the sudden js really dick. She “forgot”? I find that very hard to believe. You owed her $100 month for 3 years and she never 1 time mentioned it? I find it suspicious but make an arrangement and you aren’t leaving her high and dry, she clearly didn’t need the money for 3 years she can wait a few months.
I would pay her back $115/mo for the next 3 years.
3 years of free Pornhub thats one awesome roomate.
Ask her if you can break the payment as it’s too much for you to do it all at once. Ask for the full bill you owe (ie 4000) her and ask her if you can pay her back 500 per month (or whatever you are comfortable with) until you complete the refund. If she is the good person you say she is, she will understand and come up with a compromise. It was an issue from both of you. That means that both of you can come together to resolve it.
Wow, so many people here are ready to throw away a relationship for basically 2 thousand dollars that they would’ve spent it if it weren’t for their friend’s mistake anyway
She probably had a parent helping her with those bills and is now just trying to make some fast money to buy crack and whoopsie daisies.
Confirm that those weren’t included in the rent from the landlord
Wow 🤯 how did it get so far?
Ask how much you should have paid, over how many months, and offer to make the appropriate payments, if she missed it that long, she won’t miss it now
If she still wants a lump sum, divide that total in half as your beginning negotiation point, move down from there.
I’m in camp don’t pay. It triggers experiences of financial abuse in me. Not communicating is a big issue that maybe she’ll learn to amend. Should you have looked and found out like a responsible adult, yes. But you aren’t a mind reader. And if it wasn’t a problem then, why is it now??
It’s a bit ignorant of her to have forgotten in the first place but you do morally and likely legally owe her the money. If able, maybe offer her what you can safely manage now and work out a payment plan with her for whatever is reasonable. If she waited 3 years to even ask once then she can manage to wait a bit longer so as not to overburden someone they consider their friend.
Your so called friend is trying to treat you. Nobody forgets for 3 years and all of a sudden say you need to pay. She’s trying to get a payday for the move. Don’t give them a dime.
Come to a mutual understanding of what you owe and work out a payment plan.
So for 3 years your roommate “forgot” to tell you your half of the utility bills? Something doesn’t add up. Now that they are moving out they want to the money? I’d have a conversation and find out why they forgot to tell you your half of the utilities bills and then decide from there.
You’re not obligated.
These broads are hilarious 🤣
Lmfao🤭
Work out a payment plan over the next 3 to 6 years. Your roommate needs to take accountability for blindsiding you as well.
She can’t expect you to go back THREE years for payments; there’s got to be some sort of statute of limitations. I’d probably settle for the last 6 months — have her provide you bills and you can back pay your share for those 6 months. Frankly I think the past 3 months would be sufficient. That’s on her for not Venmo requesting you. Frankly most cashier checks/bank checks are only good for 90 days (some 6 months, some 1 year) so even THEY don’t expect payments to be sat on for that long!!! Good luck and good job trying to do the right thing!
She “forgot”? What
Just tell her you’ll pay her back over three years.
Maybe set up a monthly payment plan with her? Giving her a little more while not draining your bank account.
She asked for $2000. That is about half of the actual cost of your 1/2. It’s a bargain. Don’t try to lowball her when she is already willing to take half. Of course to have paid to monthly would have been easier, but half is still a good deal. Maybe you can give her $200 a month for about a year.
Backpayments for the last 12 months are annoying. But I’d say the first two years are on her. She can claim one year but the other 2 are frankly ridiculous.
If they didn’t say anything about arrangements for utility bills upfront or the next 3 years then they are out of luck!
Their stupidity is not your fault.
Or it’s a scam.
OP, this is just REALLY weird. Why on earth wouldn’t she say anything at the time. And why would she bring it up now.
No one just ‘forgets’ this! What part of the story is she leaving out, or aren’t you telling us?
2000
Was her family possibly covering the utilities this entire time? Kind of weird how suddenly she asks for it.
I wouldn’t pay her anything. Sounds like a cash grab to me. Forgetfulness on her isn’t your problem
Ok. Was she paying for this or her parents? I can’t imagine anyone just absorbing the costs without at least mentioning she would take it from her rent, etc. Did you ask her why she never told you about this? Honestly, not a lot of people can just drop a few thousand on the fly, if that’s your case – how much is your apartment deposit? I would let her know that amount will go to her & then offer to pay for the last 6 months. It’s honestly on her that she never mentioned it.
Id feel obligated to pay something back. As long as you make sure there was a bill and existed in the beginning then id pay at least 50% maybe a little more depending on how close yall are and going to be in the future. I wouldn’t pay all bc she should have said something but ofc we know there are two sides to a story so im sure she had her own complications. At least 50% max:75%
I would ask for proof of payment for the last year not the bill.
I think the only fair resolution here is that you take 3 years to pay her back starting now. Just auto schedule that monthly amount to go to her for 3 years.
In California you can’t demand rent due over 12 months. This is also a breach of contract in that it wasn’t disclosed to OP therefore could not be mitigated in a timely manner.
Look just have a logical and reasonable discussion of what you can realistically afford without leaving yourself without a reserve. Then you can discuss a payment plan for the rest. It is her fault she never mentioned it and she obviously forgot for three years so I’m sure she would be open to you doing so.
Pay it back to her , without interest , over three years.
You’ve got two issues.
So take it step by step.
Go through the bills, one by one. If she can’t give you a copy of the bill for a certain period, then it doesn’t get included. Check them all, verify the dates and amounts, and add up your share from all of them. Find out the maximum total you owe. If she’s willing to accept less than that? Great.
Then work out how much you can afford to pay her and how often. If you can only afford $50/week, then it’ll just take a while for you to pay back. She left it this long so she’s clearly not in a hurry. Set up an automatic transfer to her bank account (if that exists in your country) so that you can set and forget the payments until they’re fully done.
OR, give her a lump sum now of whatever you can afford, and set up a payment plan for the rest.