So this happened yesterday and I’m still cringing. I work at a marketing firm and we had our quarterly office party. Sarah (28F) from accounting has been looking different lately, like glowing but also tired? She’s been wearing loose clothes and I noticed she stopped drinking coffee which is weird because she used to down like 4 cups a day.
Anyway, I’m talking to a group of people including Sarah when someone mentions the new parental leave policy. Without thinking I go “oh that’s perfect timing for you Sarah!” and everyone just stares. Sarah goes white and I realize she hasn’t told anyone yet.
She pulls me aside later and says she’s only 8 weeks and was waiting until 12 weeks to announce. Now I’m the office gossip who can’t keep their mouth shut. Sarah says she forgives me but she seems cold. My manager hasn’t said anything but I feel like everyone’s looking at me weird.
I genuinely thought it was obvious and that she’d already told people. I feel terrible because what if something happens early on? Now there’s all this pressure on her. I brought her favorite cookies today as an apology but I don’t think it’s enough.
TL;DR: Assumed my coworker had announced her pregnancy and accidentally outed her at the office party, now everyone knows and I feel like garbage.
Comments
Unpopular opinion: coworkers acting like their pregnancy is a state’s secret are boring asf.
Most of the time we don’t know them enough to really care.
Waiting till 12 weeks is the most accepted norm world wide. Co worker wearing lose clothes within 8 weeks seems strange and you went from that and no coffee to making assumptions AND announcing them.. massive FU
She didn’t even tell you, why on earth did you think she had announced it to the entire office?
Dumb and rude, yes, but you meant well enough and you apologized with cookies. You did ok, and this will be forgotten when—hopefully— it keeps going all right and she has more to occupy her than announcement schedule.
Wait so she had not even told you and you just assumed and then told everyone as if it was fact too? Actual asshole weirdo.
“Haha, you got real fat, either that or you are pregnant, I hope it’s the first, I hate kids”
— Perfectly appropriate workplace chit chat.
You are stupid. There’s no excuse for this. Changing clothing and drinking less coffee could have so many different reasons. Only 8 weeks she for sure wasn’t showing. The rule is 12 weeks to tell people, and even then, still up to mom. I’m so so mad at you. What if she miscarries?
As the late great George Carlin once wrote, never assume a woman is pregnant unless you can actually see the baby leaving her body.
What’s the fuck kind of busy body are you? Just. This is beyond a fuck up. Were you raised by idiots or something?
My rule is that no one is pregnant until either they tell me themself or there is an official announcement. My work used to run yoga classes and one day a colleague who I knew had desperately wanted a child and been trying for many years told the teacher she couldn’t do something because she wasn’t going to risk this (indicating towards her abdomen). Months later her pregnancy was announced and that’s when I congratulated her. I got another colleague who is expecting her third child and heard people talking about her being pregnant. I still said nothing, despite a very obvious bump, until she told me.
I was in your colleague’s exact situation, at a work party I had a colleague guessed and announced my partner’s pregnancy. It was very, very early and we hadn’t even told anyone we were trying.
For those who have trouble visualizing this, I made a quick drawing…
https://preview.redd.it/nryt55kxjiaf1.jpeg?width=2480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5dcc9210781e8d0adaf744fb28bb6688606a1985