I’m (25F) am going through an extremely painful, blindsiding breakup which happened about 2 months ago (we went no contact 1.5 months ago). After nearly two years together, I can’t seem to stop spiraling no matter what I do. My ex (25M) genuinely treated me so well during the relationship and made my days a little brighter. He told everyone in his life and mine that I was the one. But his true colors showed at the end (violence, threats etc) and it all went away so easily.
I’m mourning and grieving and can’t seem to move on. Tell me, how did your life get better after an earth shattering breakup? Any celebrity/famous figures’ breakup stories that inspire you?
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Two months is really not that long, so to still be mourning the loss of what you thought would be your life is completely normal! Sometimes you have to let yourself be sad now, so later on you don’t feel as sad. It sounds like the end of this relationship is for the best, and that in time you’ll come to realise this.
Don’t be so hard on yourself! It can take a while to get over something, and there’s no deadline for it. I know they say “time heals all wounds”, but sometimes time puts things into perspective.
Mine was a long time coming and not exactly earth shattering, but i was upset at the time and it felt hard to get through even though i knew he was a jerk and the person i thought he was, didn’t exist. It sounds like you’re in the same scenario, where you’re mourning who you thought someone was, not who they actually showed themselves to be. You are going to be okay. I know it might be hard to see that now, but with time it gets easier and you will move on to the path you’re meant to be on. If i never went through my breakup, I’d be stuck in a shit cycle rather than having found myself again, and ended up with a guy who is lightyears better for me. I am genuinely happy now. To get through it at first i kept telling myself all the things he did to hurt me instead of reflecting on the good stuff. I watched a lot of Jenna and Julien videos and told myself one day I’d be with my best friend like they are, and end up in a healthier situation. Best of luck. This isn’t going to be the rest of your life
At first it got worse. For about 2 years it was really difficult restarting my life. Eventually the dust settled and I started focusing on goals for myself. Life is still hard but it’s better.
When I was married I felt like my life was over at age 25. At age 36 I feel like my whole life is ahead of me. There are not words describe how much better my life is now. I have nightmares of being forced to be married again and I wake up in a panic attack. My marriage wasn’t even that bad 😂
So Reading this seems like walking down the street in finding perfect you’re perfect car, and playing on the radio is comments about how wonderful you are, but overtime venomous Sidney start coming through the vents and from under the seats.
It feels affirming and validating getting connection from someone you want it from. But he is exactly who he revealed himself to be.
I am so sorry, I know this is all deeply traumatic and confusing. And I’ll be honest it starts to get better when you focus on ways to bring peace and comfort to yourself, whether that be through community or in other ways. And ensure you have that foundation so that you can always be confident in having a support system.