This still doesn’t feel real to write. I (25F) have been dating “A” (27M) for a year. Things were good. We had amazing chemistry, and he made me feel sexy, until recently.
He kept asking me to “moan louder” during sex. At first, I didn’t think much of it. Some people are just into that. But it got to a point where it felt… forced. Like I was performing, not enjoying. I told him it made me self-conscious. He said it was “just a turn-on” and dropped it.
Or so I thought.
Last week, I used his laptop to log into my email because mine was glitching. He’d left a folder open by accident. It was full of audio files. Literally labeled by date. When I clicked one, it was me. Moaning. Saying his name. Our sex. Recorded. Without my consent.
I confronted him immediately. He didn’t even deny it, just said it “wasn’t that serious” and that he “only used the mic, not a camera.” Like that made it better?
He also admitted he “shared a few clips” with his friends in a group chat AS A JOKE.
I dumped him on the spot, blocked him, and filed a report. His friends tried texting me to “chill” and that “he’s going through it.”
Good. I hope he rots. I feel violated in a way I can’t even describe.
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This still doesn’t feel real to write. I (25F) have been dating “A” (27M) for a year. Things were good. We had amazing chemistry, and he made me feel sexy, until recently.
He kept asking me to “moan louder” during sex. At first, I didn’t think much of it. Some people are just into that. But it got to a point where it felt… forced. Like I was performing, not enjoying. I told him it made me self-conscious. He said it was “just a turn-on” and dropped it.
Or so I thought.
Last week, I used his laptop to log into my email because mine was glitching. He’d left a folder open by accident. It was full of audio files. Literally labeled by date. When I clicked one, it was me. Moaning. Saying his name. Our sex. Recorded. Without my consent.
I confronted him immediately. He didn’t even deny it, just said it “wasn’t that serious” and that he “only used the mic, not a camera.” Like that made it better?
He also admitted he “shared a few clips” with his friends in a group chat AS A JOKE.
I dumped him on the spot, blocked him, and filed a report. His friends tried texting me to “chill” and that “he’s going through it.”
Good. I hope he rots. I feel violated in a way I can’t even describe.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
He’s going through it?
He and his friends are morons. And none of them should get into a relationship.
Keep pushing for the charges, don’t let the police or him stop you pushing forward
His going through what exactly??? Being a deceitful, rude and idiotic bellend???? Good for you for leaving him, you deserve better.
Yeah that’s creepy af, and even possibly illegal depending on where you live.
That’s such a disgusting violation from someone you’re supposed to trust. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
I’d text him one last time to be like “why did you record me without my consent?” So you can get a written admission from him that he committed a crime, then take him through every court process I could.
Crazy you gave yourself to him and he’s a weirdo.
Good on you for reporting the wee perv. He has committed a criminal act. Chase the police up to get on with it, this is bloody serious. Hope you are okay, darling. X
Fuck that guy
He sucks and I’m so so proud of you for not trying to make it work with him.
Recording sexual acts even just audio without concent is considered rape in many countries. Sharing it without permission is distribution of rape, also a crime.
I would seriously consider going to the police. If he has done it so easily with you, you are not the first. It is also likely to escalate into full videos with the next girl. For all you know, those clips could be on adult websites, and once on the Internet they never vanish. Protect yourself and whoever comes after you
I hope he rots too. Good on you for leaving and reporting.
Definitely follow through with your charges. No matter what DO NOT let him off the hook. It may start with recordings but the next girl may not be so lucky and it might be so much more than that!! You’re handling this beautifully! I don’t know if I could have stayed so composed about this one. I probably would have ended up with assault charges 😅
Him and his friends are lowlife trash. Please report him to the police and press charges.
You did the right thing. You’re definitely not overreacting.
Ugh what a violation and he is a terrible human being. Plenty of people ‘go through’ difficult times without becoming predators.
I’m so sick of “it’s not that serious.” At this point it’s just cover for “I got called out for being a piece of shit and I didn’t like it.”
It just irks me that there are men like this out there who do this crap all the time and don’t get caught or called on their bad behavior and it never comes back to haunt them. Meanwhile women have to fight for every little thing, worry about our “reputations” and constantly be overshadowed by incompetent men in positions of power. You don’t see women literally walking around doing stuff like this to men. You don’t see us dehumanizing men publicly. WTF is wrong with them. It’s maddening and the older I get the more it sickens me. Good for you OP for holding him accountable.
Check if you live in a two party consent state. If you do. He committed felonies. Do the thing and be rid of him
“It” isn’t enough. He needs to go through more.
Wishing when I was 15 I would’ve seen this for what it was and left… I’m sorry this happened to you, but good for you for leaving.
Fuck that noise!! He was recording you without consent and sharing it with his friends. I hope he has legal consequences for it. I am so sorry that this happened to you.
Good riddance! Treat yourself girl, you just lost a lot of dead weight! 💪✨
OP I’m so sorry
Save everything you can. Every admission. Every text message from his friends.
Do your absolute worst in court
That’s such an insane violation of your privacy and boundaries. Good on you for leaving him.
Good, you shouldn’t stay with someone who doesn’t respect you as an individual or person, what he did was completely wrong!
It was degrading and disgusting, and the fact that he shared it with his porn-damaged sicko friends as some joke, is even worse! 🤮
I’m so sorry – good for you and good luck dumping him immediately and pressing charges! This is such a violation!
Pursue this as hard as you can. I hope you have gathered all possible evidence. Which shouldn’t be too hard, because he sounds like a moron.
They’re asking you to “chill” cause they know they can get in trouble by having the recording on their devices.
Dude is scum. He violated your privacy
1)Keep all text from you ex. If you don’t have anything, get him to confirm on text.
2)Continue to push the police to arrest him or charge him under voyeurism (all states) or non-consensual distribution laws(revenge porn laws). Nearly all states have revenge porn laws. Contact the cybercrime unit if just talking to the police .
contact the social media sites he share the videos on. Most are required to remove this type of content.
sue his ass under civil law. Remember there are organizations that offer help with this type of crime. Cybercivilrights.org
again save everything because so states have restraining order provisions tied to digital sexual abuse.
You did the right thing! Press charges. This is a major violation. Proud of you.
Oh hell no. He and all his friends are disgusting and are completely delusional if they think this is “not a big deal”.
I would bet there are other victims. You did the right thing by reporting and blocking him. You’ll save so many others from this by reporting him and persuing charges.
Don’t let him or anyone gaslight you into thinking there’s any excuse for this at all.
Please know that is will only get worse. This behavior escalates. Once you’ve been violated like this it’s so hard not to let it consume your thoughts. Wish you the best whatever you decide.
Kudos to you for dumping him on the spot. I can’t even imagine how violated and betrayed you feel. Create a one or two sentence canned rebuff for his friends, asking them to consider your (and ANY woman’s perspective), then immediately block his juvenile friends as well. You’d think 27 yo men would have a better understanding of right and wrong. Press charges if you can. Get a restraining order. Do whatever you can do to create red flags for his future girlfriends.
As someone who let an act of non concent ‘slip by’ , this is not his first time he has pushed boundaries and most definitely will not be his last. You did the right thing. Don’t let anyone guilt trip you into changing your mind.
I’m so proud of you for your reaction. Know your worth and leave that creep in the dust.
That is fucking horrifying
Good on you for just dropping it immediately. Way too old for this to be a learning moment that he can move forward from
Do it lady!
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you’re getting the support that you need and deserve.
Sidebar: it is surprisingly healing to read that you immediately confronted, dumped, blocked, and reported this asshole.
He’s doing this at 27!? It’s not like there’s an age limit on stupid, but FFS this is beyond moronic. I’m glad you dumped him immediately.
FINALLY!!!
A “dumped him on the spot” instead of a ‘but I love him, what should I do?’
Good. For. You.
Bring as much heat on him as you can.
He deserves whatever is coming to him. What an ass
Too bad you didn’t delete the folder while you had the chance.
I’m glad you reported him and dumped his ass. He probably knows how serious what he did is and got his friends to defend him. That’s disgusting. And sharing it, WITHOUT your consent?!? What a complete violation. OP I’m sorry you experienced that and I’m glad you’re away from that creep.
Hey OP
You don’t list your state but it may also be illegal for him to record you. It varies from state to state but you may want to look in to it and threaten him to make sure he deletes all recordings.
https://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/criminal-defense/felony-offense/can-i-record-a-conversation-between-myself-anothe
“I dumped him on the spot” 🏆🥇 as you should! As someone mentioned, no “but I love him.. what should I do?”
If you can post about him and his friends let them know what kind of people they are
Yuck that it’s disgusting behaviour. I’m glad you filed charges. He’s a sex pest!
It’s illegal and gross and a major violation of privacy. File charges.
His friends are just mad that they won’t get new material now. OP I’m proud of you for reporting him and I am so sorry this happened to you.
How does this fit two hot takes at all
mm no mm
We’ve all “gone through stuff.” Most of us haven’t secretly recorded ourselves having sex with someone without them knowing.
Good on you for dumping and reporting him.
If either of my friends sends me something sexual relating to their partners, I would fly there and talk to them face to face inquiring why they would do such a thing. Definitely not an acceptable thing to do.
Did you delete the files from his device more importantly?
PLEASE tell me you deleted them. Please please please
You might find it’s an offence to do this without your knowledge
Fuck. That. Fuckboy. Press charges the end.
Good for you for filing a report. He and his friends sound like they’re 12.
You deleted the files, right??
He’s a fuck up and his friends are defending a fuckup. The whole group is trash. That is disgusting I am so sorry and I hope you’re able to move on
You did exactly what you needed to do. Bravo!!
You should have saved all the files, taken pictures, videos, whatever evidence and called the cops.
What he did is a sex crime. Don’t let him get by with this.
He’s going through it? Excellent news, that’s what it’s for.
Well next time moan something loud that he’s not gonna like……
Yeah they’re to type to say it’s just “locker room talk”. That idiot thinks he can do something horrendous with no consequences? Well, he’s gonna learn today. Good luck OP.
Bien hecho por denunciarlo