This happened a few nights ago and I’m still heated. So me (30F) and my husband (33M) went to his parents’ for dinner. Everything was cool, food was good, vibes were fine—until I went for a second helping (not even a big plate, chill lol).
Outta nowhere he goes, “Careful babe, you’ve been really enjoying food lately.”
LIKE??? Bro. You said that in front of your mom, dad, sister—everyone.
I laughed it off cuz I was tryna keep it cute, but inside I was dying. Then this man goes, “What? You said you wanted to drop weight before summer, I’m just helping.” Oh hell no.
I put my fork down, grabbed my stuff, and straight up left. Drove home solo. He didn’t even follow me.
Now he’s salty saying I embarrassed him and “made it a big deal.” His mom texted me saying he was just joking and I overreacted. Idk man… felt super disrespectful to me.
AITAH for just walking out?
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NTA. Of course not. Think up the most embarrassing, true, thing to hit him with in front of his friends or family next time. Go nuclear.
NTA. ”So you agree that being embarrassed is a big deal? I’m assuming the next thing you’re going to do is apologize for publicly embarassing me. Since it’s such a big deal and all? Or is it not a big deal? Which is it?”
NTA I’m sorry this happened to you especially by someone you trust.
NTA
NTA time to joke about his small penis ig
NTA! WTF? That comment is insensitive and rude on its own, but in front of the entire family? And he has the nerve to be mad and claim YOU embarrassed HIM? If he didn’t want to be embarrassed, he shouldn’t have done something to embarras himself, which he did.
Of course his mom is telling you you overreacted and claim “it was just a joke” (classic scaperoute to avoid any responsibility in bullying), how dare you not to accept being humilliated and bullied with a smile on your face/s.
50/50 NTA hear me out…
He shouldn’t have said that even in a joking manner but you definitely overreacted and could have talked about it afterwards. He was mean and you blew it up to be worse.
I would have said, “I just wanted to give you a bigger target since you have a hard time finding the right spot anyway”
The best way to hit back at a man is his manhood, signed a man. Haha
wooooowwwww!!!! that’s insane on everyone’s part there. if my brother said that to his wife my entire family would be down his throat!!! no excuses for that gross shit. you don’t say that or embarrass the person you love like that
NTA – The joke was bad enough, but then he doubled down on his bad behavior by being salty and then had his mommy call you. He was a jerk. If this is a one-off, you can work through it, but if this has happened prior to this, you may want to rethink things.
NTA – it was insensitive, especially saying it in front of everyone like that.
I don’t think it’s the worse thing for your spouse to point out when you are doing something you had told him you wanted to address, but that was not the time or place and certainly not the tone to do it in.
Moms under reacting about the Ahole she raised….
It’s not a joke if he’s trying to embarrass you in front of others into changing your behavior. You didn’t need to walk out, though. You could have said, “Cool it babe”, and then reamed him out that night when you got home.
100%, it was stupid of him to say you did a good job laughing it off. But it’s not his place to police you at dinner. I think I would have waited and handled it later in the evening. Also I’m assuming he’s not chubby he’s in fantastic shape and he’s got a great hairline….. Or maybe he just needs to zip his pie hole
NTA. But here in Japan it’s kind of friendly to comment on a guy’s weight. It’s not fat-shaming, per se, but it is saying they notice it and I should get my health in order. It’s often said with a smile in a friendly, teasing kind of way. But I don’t take it well at all. I always feel hurt.
Hell no!!
Your body, and you are not jokes.
Because it’s so fucking funny he can have the couch and no sex for a while to think about why he can’t behave.
NTA. Tell him you took his advice and dropped 180 pounds.
NTA. Husband is. And since MIL said “joking” is just fine, be sure to use that any time you want with her. Say anything at all you want and follow it up with “I’m just kidding.” Her age, appearance, cooking. It’s all fair game now.
NTA. Text your MIL that if everything is a joke you will start jokes about her insecurity.
And tell your husband you will start joking about his penis. Because it’s a joke.
And he wasn’t joking. He meant it.
NTA. I would tell his mother she and her husband raised him poorly.
How would that ever be a joke?? He’s not a keeper. Dont have kids with this schmuck.
How would that ever be a joke?? He’s not a keeper. Dont have kids with this schmuck.
He’s an asshole and so is his mom. Seriously. I have a grown son. If my son said that about my daughter in law, he would get a talking to from me about respect. And my DIL would know that I’m on her side on this one, not his.
He owes you a deep apology. That is just not cool.
NTA for Choosing to leave before either of you say something hurtful and causes more awkward embarrassment is the right thing to do. But I will give you this. I’m 40 now, my wife is 38. We both are still very physically attracted to each other after being together for 20 years. But we both made a promise to each other we would always try to do our best to keep up physical appearance for each other. One time, when I was about 29, my wife told me I was getting chubby in front of my mom. Then my mom piped up and said “when he was 9 we bought him fat kid pants for awhile until he grew and thinned out”. It really embarrassed me. But after I got over being butt-hurt, I realized that my wife was right. I was turning into a squishy doughy dad-bod and it was making me less attractive to her. So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I made a promise to myself to do better. And now at 40 I do look way better than when I was 30! So your husband may be verbalizing that excess weight may be making you less attractive. He could have timed it and been more sensitive about it. I’d tell him, alright babe…you pay for a gym membership and watch the kids while I’m gone, and I’ll get on it.
If you really want to fuck with him, tell him his breath stinks next time you see him. Get him a bottle of Listerine as a gift
This will have him reeling for days
NTA
He knows he was not helping and so does his mother. She is enabling his crappy behavior
Is this the sort of person he is normally?
NTA, anyone who tells you that you can’t take a joke, you’re over reacting, or..I was just trying to help…. that’s some narcissistic tendencies.
And a joke is only funny if everyone is laughing. Your husband and his mom are definitely TA.
Divorce him
If my son said that to his gf I’d call him out right there. I’d be absolutely fuming. Nta.
He’s trying to keep you accountable and fit. Sounds like you’ve been getting out of shape and he’s starting to worry you’ll let yourself go.
If you’re this upset about it all, you must know it’s true deep down.
Nope, never body shame, ESPECIALLY in front of others. He’s rude and you did the right thing.
NTA and what kind of mother tells her DIL to stop overreacting instead of pulling her son up for his disrespectful behaviour?! My husband and I banter a lot, and sometimes my MIL takes offence on my behalf and gives my husband an earful 😂 If my sons ever pull that crap I’ll be giving them a piece of my mind too!
He embarrassed you, so if your leaving embarrassed him, then I’d say you’re even.
NTAH, but he was for saying that especially in front of others even family. You should sit down with him and tell him exactly how it made to feel.
My mother said never mention a woman’s weight or age he was rude and if course his mama going to stick up for him sounds like the only boy.
The offender blaming the victim. His actions and words have consequences.
It’s a bad pattern of bullies and abusers. He should apologize to you and to everyone.
NTA.
NTA – Fat shaming AND sharing details about your health for public consumption. Next time talk about his little blue pills that make his 1 incher a 1.5 incher in front of his buddies. It’s just a joke, and you’re trying to help.
Depends what you are like as a person, and what your boundaries are. I am the opposite where I have to keep reminding my partner to tell me to stop over eating/eating bad foods so often, I want him to remind me at home and when dining out. But that doesn’t mean you should be the same as me, if you found his words hurtful then NTA. But find out if he thought was being helpful given that you were wanting to lose weight, men can be a little clueless.
You don’t gain weight by having a little more than a single plate. You’d have to regularly take large portions and do less than even basic exercise to gain weight (or have bad genetics).
His comment was unnecessary, he aimed only to wound you and shit like that is not ok.
People need to stop hiding behind the ‘it was just a joke, you’re overreacting’ excuse. A joke stops being a joke when the target of the ‘joke’ isn’t laughing.
NTA.
Damn how fat are you??
His mom hasn’t learned the number one rule of being a good MIL: keep your mouth shut while also keeping your nose out of your child’s relationship.
When my son was engaged, then married, I decided it was my responsibility to get along with DIL, cause no problems, and keep my mouth shut. Things have been great! ❤️
His MOM texted you? What is he, 12?