My best friend since high school Emma (27F) asked me (26F) to be her maid of honor back in January when she got engaged. I was so excited and said yes immediately.
But guys, this has turned into a nightmare. She’s become this bridezilla I don’t even recognize. The bachelorette party alone is costing me over $800 because she insists on going to Nashville for three days. I’m a teacher so that’s like half my monthly take home pay.
Then she sends me this 4 page text about how the bridesmaid dresses need to be altered by this specific seamstress who charges $200 per dress. The dresses were already $180 each. She also wants me to throw her an engagement party AND a bridal shower.
Last week she called me crying because I couldn’t make it to cake tasting (I had parent teacher conferences that I couldn’t reschedule). She said I’m being a terrible friend and not taking my maid of honor duties seriously.
The final straw was yesterday when I suggested maybe we could do something local for the bachelorette to save money. She literally screamed at me over the phone saying I’m trying to ruin her wedding and that if I can’t afford to be in the wedding I should just say so.
I’ve been her friend for 12 years and she’s never talked to me like this. I’m honestly considering stepping down but I know it will probably end our friendship. Her other bridesmaids are all from college and have way more money than me.
I just don’t know what happened to my friend. Wedding planning has turned her into someone I don’t even like being around.
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My best friend since high school Emma (27F) asked me (26F) to be her maid of honor back in January when she got engaged. I was so excited and said yes immediately.
But guys, this has turned into a nightmare. She’s become this bridezilla I don’t even recognize. The bachelorette party alone is costing me over $800 because she insists on going to Nashville for three days. I’m a teacher so that’s like half my monthly take home pay.
Then she sends me this 4 page text about how the bridesmaid dresses need to be altered by this specific seamstress who charges $200 per dress. The dresses were already $180 each. She also wants me to throw her an engagement party AND a bridal shower.
Last week she called me crying because I couldn’t make it to cake tasting (I had parent teacher conferences that I couldn’t reschedule). She said I’m being a terrible friend and not taking my maid of honor duties seriously.
The final straw was yesterday when I suggested maybe we could do something local for the bachelorette to save money. She literally screamed at me over the phone saying I’m trying to ruin her wedding and that if I can’t afford to be in the wedding I should just say so.
I’ve been her friend for 12 years and she’s never talked to me like this. I’m honestly considering stepping down but I know it will probably end our friendship. Her other bridesmaids are all from college and have way more money than me.
I just don’t know what happened to my friend. Wedding planning has turned her into someone I don’t even like being around.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Not wrong and back out now. Money and real life obligations don’t pause for a bridezilla.
You wouldn’t be wrong to step down. It’s extremely entitled and insensitive for her to stress you out and put you in a financial burden just because she’s getting married. She’s treating you horribly and you’re supposed to be her maid of honor. Why are all of these responsibilities on you? She has other bridesmaids. Why do you need to taste the cake?? It’s HER cake for HER wedding.
I think if you’re a bride and you’re not going to give people any flexibility and you’re requiring them to do/buy expensive shit, you should be willing to cover at least a portion of it. If you can demand it from them, you should be able to afford it yourself too. If I’m getting married I want my celebrations to be inclusive for my entire bridal party. The last thing I’m gonna do is make a CLOSE FRIEND feel like shit because I have an idea that’s out of their budget and I’m refusing to be flexible or cover it for them.
The bridal shower and bachelorette parties are just extra events that go along with a wedding but they aren’t the main event. It’s INSANE that she thinks you’re gonna “ruin her wedding” because you don’t wanna go broke over her bullshit ass extra parties.
Even if you do lose her as a friend, is it REALLY a loss for you when she’s turned into this kind of person?
If someone screams at you over trying to save money, they don’t respect you. Stepping down isn’t wrong it’s protecting your peace. Real friends don’t treat you like an employee.
You’re not wrong – step down and let someone else step in for you. You’re not even the one getting married and you’re spending a ton of money that I’m sure could be better spent ( or saved) elsewhere.
Weddings are so stressful, and you don’t necessarily know all that she is dealing with. Is it the in-laws that expect a certain level of “wow” or is it just that your friend is caught up in wedding fever and “has a vision”? Either way, try getting her out for coffee and talking about what’s going on. Ask her what has her so stressed out, that in all the years of knowing her, you’ve never seen her behave this way. Give her the opportunity to vent or share.
I’m not saying that will magically fix this, but as her friend, you’re giving her the opportunity to understand that her behaviour is sending up flags.
At the end of the day, money is money – I personally wouldn’t tank my savings to accommodate my own wedding, much less someone else’s who appears to be ungrateful and entitled.
Just because she’s trying to keep
up with the Jones’ doesn’t mean you need to. I’m sorry this has gone so sideways for you, I’m sure it’s incredibly hurtful to be spoken to/treated this way by someone you care deeply about.
Step down. Tell her now. Recoup as much money as you can. I must be old and out of the loop but since when was the engagement party and bridal shower the MOH’s responsibility? I thought that stuff was usually arranged by family.