He’s a nice guy, but wonders why he doesn’t get dates or even have a lot of friends and I’m pretty sure the answer is because he can be smelt from a good 3 yards away. It’s a sour unwashed clothing smell, and he seems to wear the same jacket all the time, so likely nothing medical going on.
I know fixing this one issue would vastly improve his chances, but how to tell him in a helpful way?
Also, PSA… if you’re a kind guy who doesn’t seem to hit it off with anyone… nose blindness is a thing. Please shower and wash your clothing regularly 🙏 I like this guy, but the smell makes it hard to want to have extended conversations with him.
Comments
“You stink.”
He is likely unaware. Just be gentle about it. “Look bro, I have known you a while and you don’t smell that great, you need to figure out how to get your clothes, body, and breath cleaned up.”
Just be honest but kind.
Hey man you probably don’t notice but you smell bad,(describe what kind of bad smell)
“You smell like <insert odor>”
Hey dude, gotta be honest you kinda stink.
We know when we stink. Our nose is closer to us, than you are
Literally just tell him. Guys take a lot less offense to things than everyone thinks. It’s wild to me that you have to post this question on reddit.
How old is he?
“Oh, what’s that smell. I don’t think it’s me. Is it you? I think it might be. It is coming from your jacket.”
Be a friend.
I have a friend who’s got exactly the same problem. It’s really bad, like i don’t ever invite him to my place and when we meet i make sure it’s outside.
After many years of occasional contact, I told him – as a friend – that he’s got a really strong smell and that it would be quite disturbing.
His answer was highly confusing: apparently he has been told the same thing by other people, and he would think the problem is maybe that laundry detergent doesn’t work when it’s gotten wet before.
It hasn’t had any further consequences.
My guess is these people are aware but they have some deeper issues, weren’t educated about correct hygiene, etc.
“Slider…..YOU STINK!”
tell him I’m bored let’s take a shower..
Embarrassing moments bring growth
Do it in private, definitely not in front of people and also not in such a place where he may have class or something next because he will probably be extremely embarrassed.
He’ll want to go home and fix it
Tell him “You smell like shi—“
i dont think there is a “nice” way to say it because it’s going to come off kind off rude no matter what. but tell him anyway, dont shame him just be upfront and one on one. he’ll either change or he wont. my ex told me i smelled really bad. she has a sensitive nose and would smell things from blocks away. so i ignored her. honestly i more recently started taking tremendous better care of myself and using cologne. idk if i stunk as bad as she said. but definitely didnt take care of myself as well as i do now. she was really mean about it but ultimately im glad she told me.
Just tell him flat out and be specific l, otherwise he’ll just wash his jacket and think he’s done.
“you smell bro”
As a man who’s not from the west, we don’t rlly care about looks and hygiene like at all, just tell him that the women here are basically men what heart break does to a women is turns them into a man p much. Most of them are low quality so they think a bit more logically.
It could be a simple problem, like his cat litter box is in the laundry room with his dryer. Every dryer cycle infuses his clothing with the sour delight of superheated cat shit.
What is this jacket?
If you get involved you might be all the way involved.
When I was very young, a girl from my class was frustrated with my appearance and taught me how to do laundry. People don’t know what they don’t know.
I used to smell and was happy as Hell when someone told me.
Tell him about
Lie Cass
it’s seriously saved me from so many of these conversations
🤔… Pull him to the side and say ” hey dude you stink”!
Occasionally, I’ll notice that I stink, and wonder why no one told me.
Is your friend poor? Cheap soap/laundry detergent/deodorant don’t work very well.
You don’t need to communicate covertly with men. Be direct when someone asks for honest feedback. “Have you considered that your scent is off-putting?” Feel free to elaborate when asked and offer solutions that would improve his outcomes. Don’t suggest cologne until he masters the basics.
take him to an empty room, surrounded by nothing with nothing inside of it.
stand next to him.
“dude, what’s that smell?” and then leave the room.
Your deodorant is not working
“Hey bro, have you been drying your clothes right, because sometimes you’ve got this smell coming off you” – he’ll know the smell is not really from that, and hopefully recognise he needs to improve his hygiene, without feeling like you think he’s unclean and thus saving him embarrassment.
It’s not an easy thing at all and I’ve been in an similar spot but not had the courage to say it. Best of luck OP, it’s better for him in the long run if he hears it. Thankfully my situation sorted itself out
“Dude, you smell.”
Start sniffing and get closer to him like you’re trying to determine the source. Tell him you think his clothes stink. Offer a solution ie don’t let them sit in the washing machine too long after a cycle or make sure they are completely dry etc. Do this every time until he gets it together.
Next time he complains, tell him it’s probably because he smells. He knows he doesn’t wash himself or his clothes enough so no idea if he actually will care.
Be straight up, but don’t be brutal about it.
It could be a multitude of things. For example, my clothes are always clean, and I shower daily, but clothes that I store in a certain dresser at home always come out smelling musty and disgusting, even when they are clean.
It’s most likely a smell that he is used to and is unaware of.
I usually just say “you smell like ass bro I’m sorry I can’t let you go on like that. You have to do something it’s bad”
I had a friend like that 5th grade, Eddie Able, I’ll never forget.
If a friend, you may say “I was thinking about what you said the other day about not getting dates . I wonder if you’re aware of the strong body odor you give off. It’s normal for folks to not know about their own smells. So I ask” or some such. It’s good for him to know and fix so you can also rest easy when hanging out with him lol
I know I can smell like a hamster cage when things get hot and sweaty after a 10hr shift in a hot factory.
That’s the only time I’ve really smelt myself.
I do ask the bread knife if she notices if I smell in any way at other times, she says not, but I would want someone to tell me if I did outside of the work situation.
Give him a pet name…Reek
You stink bro.
“You forgot about the smell, you bitch”
“You’re a nice guy, but dude, you reek.”
We don’t do hints. Just tell him.
Just tell him. I doubt he knows. Sometimes that’s a way to keep people out, e.g. that can be a response to trauma.
Oh he thinks that he stinks good/it’s not manly to smell nice.
I was fighting with BO for a while, the solution was to use antiperspirant, not deodorant and frequently shave my armpits. But that does not work for everyone.
Walk up and say dude not being funny but you kinda smell
Bro you stink
Just be honest. Let the brother know
“Dude, I’m telling you as a friend, you smell.” 50/50 it’ll work but as a friend it’s just to give it straight to him
is it warn too long since washed or left damp smell ?
First pass ; come in sideways
you’ve discovered scent boosters – you change yours load it up with scent booster ( smelly useless beads )- then rave about it and have a co worker ( female. would be 5 times better – age doesn’t matter ) complement you on it, show him a better way, have your co worker act like you just invented something better than sex.
remember less than 10% of people have read the instructions for anything including washers , driers , or clothing ( the instructions are on the label inside )
have you ?
“What smells?” (Two of us in small room). We both look around and sniff. It’s the dog that just walked in.
Honestly something like this could be said over a text message, so he doesn’t have to deal with embarrassment face to face and has time to fix the issue.
Telling someone they smell while they hang out with you will leave them questioning if they should just leave immediately lol.
Being smelly does not stop you from getting dates, it stops you from getting second dates. If the dude’s having trouble getting dates, there’s something else going wrong as well.
I had the same problem years ago in my 20’s. For some reason I decided that I didn’t need to use a washcloth for my butt, that my hands were good enough. Well, turns out they’re not. I was nose blind and it went on for about 10 years till I finally figured it out. I was humiliated.
I then spent years thinking, My God, I wish somebody had told me. You could say, I really like you man so I’m going to tell you this, you got a bit of a smell about you, maybe try washing your butt and clothes a little more often. I think he will be grateful.
I’m all right now since I fixed the problem and it’s been long enough that I don’t care anymore.
Hey i hope this doesnt offend you, you probably dont notice it but you tend to have a certain smell to you. You might need wash your clothes or shower more.
“If you had a piece of broccoli in your teeth,would you want someone to tell you?”
A joke. My brother’s feet spelled so bad his four male housemates in an Alaskan dive kicked him out. A true story.
As someone who was in his shoes a few years ago. Just be blunt to him he stinks and that’s why u think it’s been tough. It might put him down or make him super defensive like it did me but if you go to easy it won’t hit hard enough and he will forget. I am constantly smelling my self and arm pits now and all that to make sure the deodorant is still working cuz sometimes I sweat so much I have to re apply once or twice in a day. Also he sweats a lot and that’s part of the issue tell him to carry an extra shirt or 2 around (assuming he has a car or something he can store it in so he isn’t caring around sweaty clothes also lol). I sweat a ridiculous amount and have to do that. Deodorant and body spray together is best and in my opinion using gain detergent is best with masking smells.
A respectful way to go about it can involve asking him about his hygiene habits and learning about how he got them. You can guide him to improve from there.
I hope whatever you decide to do goes well, and both of you learn something about each other.
Some guys absolutely reek…. I hate sitting beside guys on the bench with their hockey gear gaggingly smelling of BO.
Invite him somewhere with access to a shower without calling attention to it.
Tell him anytime you want we can do this activity together.
Maybe if you can find a moment to have a heart to heart. Tell him you care about and love him. That you noticed you might have a problem he’s not aware about and you are only trying to help.
Come from a place of love and understanding. He may get defensive just be cool and let him process.
Fear and judgement make us stupid in the moment. But kindness is usually the right answer.
His Depression needs to be treated.
If you’re a friend:
“Dude you fucking stink, we gotta deal with this”
Dude, you stink,you should fix that.