So my friend had a camping trailer he no longer needed, and he gave it to our family about a month ago. Since he’s a smoker, I stripped the couches, beds, etc. We spent $50 to wash everything at the laundromat.
Tonight, he’s in town and needs a place to crash. We’re offering our place, of course, and rather than just offering our couch, we can actually let him chill in the trailer this time. His default habit is to smoke inside, but I hate for everything to get smoky all over again. But I’m not sure if it comes across as rude/ungrateful/entitled, etc. to ask him to please smoke outside, seeing as how we wouldn’t own the trailer if not for him.
So, WIBTA if I asked him to step outside to smoke instead of smoking in the trailer he gave us for free?
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So my friend had a camping trailer he no longer needed, and he gave it to our family about a month ago. Since he’s a smoker, I stripped the couches, beds, etc. We spent $50 to wash everything at the laundromat.
Tonight, he’s in town and needs a place to crash. We’re offering our place, of course, and rather than just offering our couch, we can actually let him chill in the trailer this time. His default habit is to smoke inside, but I hate for everything to get smoky all over again. But I’m not sure if it comes across as rude/ungrateful/entitled, etc. to ask him to please smoke outside, seeing as how we wouldn’t own the trailer if not for him.
So, WIBTA if I asked him to step outside to smoke instead of smoking in the trailer he gave us for free?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I would be asking my friend to not smoke in the trailer that he gave us for free. I wonder if I’d be the asshole due to the fact that we wouldn’t own the trailer if not for him.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Your total will end up being $100 for a trailer. Still way in the green so I would just let it slide. However it’s yours so now you can set the boundaries
NTA. He gave it to you, that makes it your property now. You can certainly set a no smoking rule.
NTA you did the work to YOUR trailer.
Offer him the couch. Tell him you’d rather he have access to a real toilet or something like that. If he wants to stay in the camper you can tell him you’d rather he stay in the house as you just got all the smoker stank out.
YWNBTA even if you took out and hid all the comfy stuff like cushions and lied that you were replacing things. I smoked for 30 years and am still on lozenges for 2.5 years and smoking indoors is gross.
NTA but good on you for being thoughtful about your friendship. It’s clear you respect him and hopefully he respects you enough to not smoke in there
NTA, you spent a lot of time and money into fixing up the place and he should respect that. And regardless, it’s not his trailer anymore. It’s yours. You can set whatever rules for it you want.
NTA.
But, do you see the possibility of any more “gifts”
Because older than this AITA forum is the saying “don’t look the gift horse in the mouth.” Generally means don’t say shit about gifts.
See if you can borrow your local
Marijuana growers activated carbon filter. You could have a cigar convention in there and no smell with that.
Do you live close? Ha
I would just be honest. Say you just spent time and money cleaning it, and you’d like him to smoke outside.
If you are more concerned about the friendship, tell him that you aren’t going to raise a stink about it if he refuses, but you would prefer and appreciate he not smoke inside the trailer.
Most smokers nowadays are pretty understanding that it’s a stinky/dirty habit. If you get any pushback, just reiterate that it’s just your preference but you aren’t going to force him, you are just making your preference known to him.
I would be much more concerned if it weren’t a one night thing at the moment, just my honest opinion. You would be within your rights to insist he follow the role though. You’re going out of your way to accommodate him. He could be stuck paying for a hotel.
NTA. It’s now your property. Even though he gave it to you, it’s yours now, and you have the right to set rules for its use. Plus, You’ve already cleaned it. You went through the trouble of removing smoke residue, so it’s fair to want to keep it fresh.
NTA you paid money and worked to clean it out, it’s yours now, it would be unbelievably rude of him to smoke in it at this point
NTA. If he they gave it to you then you have every right to set some ground rules 100% if he fights it or tries to take it back then it was never for free, they always wanted something in return or to hang over you 💯 and that would also mean they’re not your friend and probably never were in their eyes. So set the rules and go from there. Been down this route many times. Hopefully this turns out better for you.
NTA. This is your home now. It’s normal for people’s homes to be nonsmoking spaces.
NTA but maybe set up a chair outside with a table and an ashtray and an ice chest full of his favorite drinks then you can say ” Here is your designated smoking area.” You don’t have to tell him not to smoke inside but it is implied.
NTA. Tell him how you’ve cleaned it up and see how he reacts.
This is a tough one…… I feel I would let him smoke, and deal with the smell after he leaves.